I have worn the same basic white underwear for most of my life: white Fruit of the Loom or Hanes briefs that I buy in a three-pack at Target. Sometimes, I might throw in some color, but not very often.
I never gave much thought to my underwear. I know my father always wore boxers, but I always assumed that those were “old man” type underwear. I figured that men’s underwear was mostly a practical piece of clothing, mostly to prevent your dick from getting caught in the zipper.
But lately, I’ve been noticing that my style briefs have a bad reputation, something that I had no idea about.
I recently saw an online quiz which revealed “What Your Skivvies Say About You.” My standard underwear got very poor reviews.
A Man who is wearing Tighty-Whities is telling the world: As far as maturity and mental development go, I peaked in the second grade. My idea of accomplishment is winning an internet flamewar. I can’t cook, and there’s a good chance my mother still does my laundry. Also, I couldn’t get laid if I walked into a whorehouse wrapped in treasury bills.
Wow! I”m a walking fashion emergency. And are they really known as “tighty-whites?” How embarrassing!
Another online quiz asks —What kind of underwear do you wear?
Only 9% say they wear briefs. 9%!
That can’t be true. Who buys all those 3-packs at Target?
Just what I need. More things to angst over. Work. Relationships. Health. Now — my underwear.
So, dear readers, I need your advice. in order to perfect my Neilochka makeover, do I really need to throw out all my “tighty-whites?”
When I take off my pants — is this what a woman really wants to see on a sophisticated, well-dressed man?