Remember this post? I need desperate fashion advice — and you gave me such excellent fashion suggestions. Since that post, I have gotten a haircut, bought three pairs of shoes, three pairs of pants, and ten new shirts. I’ve even trimmed some of the forest growing on my back, chest, and other places. I’m like a new man.
But I’m a little confused by the last step: my underwear.
Let me start by saying I’m not an "underwear" guy, even when it regards women. I don’t get turned on by going into Victoria’s Secret. Maybe doing all that bra-shopping with Sophia took away the mystery. I’m all for a woman’s comfort now. I actually tell Sophia not to wear her thong underwear because it makes me uncomfortable seeing her being uncomfortable.
My goal is to get the woman out of her underwear. Why should I care what underwear she’s wearing?
I have worn the same basic white underwear for most of my life: white Fruit of the Loom or Hanes briefs that I buy in a three-pack at Target. Sometimes, I might throw in some color, but not very often.
I never gave much thought to my underwear. I know my father always wore boxers, but I always assumed that those were "old man" type underwear. I figured that men’s underwear was mostly a practical piece of clothing, mostly to prevent your dick from getting caught in the zipper.
But lately, I’ve been noticing that briefs have a bad reputation, something that I had no idea about.
Avatar at Overworked and Underf*cked (NSFW) analyzes "what your skivvies say about you."
Tighty-Whities: As far as maturity and mental development go, I peaked in the second grade. My idea of accomplishment is winning an internet flamewar. I can’t cook, and there’s a good chance my mother still does my laundry. Also, I couldn’t get laid if I walked into a whorehouse wrapped in treasury bills.
Wow! Is this what women think when I take off my pants? I used to think that when the woman said, "Oh My God!" that she was resonding to something positive. Now I realize it’s the women visualizing me taking my laundry home to Mom — and all because of my underwear.
And are they really known as "tighty-whites?" How embarrassing!
Here’s another website I found – some stupid "sex poll." Now I’m assuming many of the answers here are lies. How do I know? Let’s see — all men are 7-8 inches long on a slow day! All women have orgasms ALL THE TIME!
But even accepting the poll for what it is, it does give an indication of what people are insecure about.
Look at question seven on the men’s test:
What kind of underwear do you wear? Only 9% say they wear briefs. 9%! That can’t be true. Who buys all those 3-packs at Target? Are men really as anxious about their underwear as they are of their penis size?
Just what I need. More things to angst over. Work. Relationships. Health. My underwear.
So, dear readers, I need your advice. in order to perfect my Neilochka makeover, do I really need to throw out all my "tighty-whites?"
After all, I do have a reputation to upheld. And let it be put in writing: I DO MY OWN LAUNDRY! (That is, unless my mother moves to California and then she’ll do it for me).
So, tell me the truth — when I take off my pants — is this what a woman really wants to see on a sophisticated, well-dressed man?
UPDATE: I thought about this subject matter some more. And I remember Danielle writing about how sexy underwear made her feel sexier. And Sophia has all sorts of funny underwear that say things on them.
Why shouldn’t men have fun, too?
I actually like this pair of underwear. They’re still briefs, but at least they tell the world that I’m proud to be an American. One question: If you knew I was wearing this, would you stop coming to this blog?
P.S. — Tomorrow is the last day to send over any submissions to The Carnival of the Mundane 5!
i know it’s been said already, but i’m throwing in my .02 for boxer briefs.
or commando.
whatever makes you more comfortable
that whole “picture them in their underwear” bit to make a person less nervous would certainly work if you were wearing that last pair.
tighty whiteys are indeed what they are called and they aren’t very sexy. you can do better neil. boxer briefs!
Boxer briefs, definitely.
Hey Neil, Happy Birthday. When I read your blog about boxers, I had to ask, “They’re still selling those things?” I’m too skinny to wear boxers anyhow. I’ve been wearing snazzy bikini briefs (leopard print even) forever, and I bet others in the over 70 group also like them. Jeezz, Neil, you should have talked to me. We could have gone to that place near CBS–where they take the stuff the Loehman’s doesn’t want–and gotten you fixed up even with boxers for less than $14.00 a pair. I can see $3-4 bucks a pair, but $14? No way. Your father must be going crazy! He used to go to sales and buy a whole (nice) suit for $14.00. Oy, now I’m worried you’re turning into an LA yuppie. And for what? For $14.00 you could have gone to Canter’s and had a meal.
Uncle Miltie — I don’t want to speak for any of my readers, but I have a feeling they won’t be any kinder to your choice of underwear than they were to mine. I’m not sure anyone over sixty years of age is supposed to be wearing snazzy bikini briefs (leopard print even). In fact, I’m not sure anyone over the age of thirty should wear them, unless maybe you’re a gay Australian body builder.
Holy underwear Batman! That shit is terrifying. If a man I was dating took off his pants and had that underwear on, I can pretty much guarantee that he wouldn’t get laid….because I’d be laughing and pointing too hard.
So I’m a 15 year-old teenager that is bored at 11:21 at night. I’ve read everyone’s opinions, and have found them to be..interesting.
I wear boxers, briefs, and boxer-briefs. Why? If I’m wearing a suit, then boxers for sure. My pants are thin, and boxers feel amazing. Briefs and boxer-briefs most of the time though. I’m really a big fan of tighty-whities. Yep, I said it. Who cares if someone makes fun of your underwear? If they care so much, then you can make fun of them for being an igorant loser that has nothing better to do than make fun of something carrying little significance. I have no problem wearing tighty-whities in a locker room. If someone is looking, that’s there problem, not mine. If I bend over, and tighty-whities are hanging out, once again, I don’t care. What are they going to do? Make fun of me? Give me a wedgie? Really people, underwear isn’t important. You are a fool if you claim that your underwear is the best without considering the options.
Bryan — You are one smart 15 year old. Always be yourself! I’ll remember that one.
Thanks Neil, I appreciate it. Underwear isn’t important. It’s like making fun of someone who wears white socks instead of black socks or something to that effect. Wear what’s comforable, not what people say is comfortable, because people have different body types. Life goes on, and unfortunately so will the debate on which is better. Ignorance is bliss
love the patriotic briefs mmm
It is a well-known fact that common briefs (“tighty-whities”) are a great form of birth control. If a woman didn’t like me for what I wear, then frankly, she can go screw herself.
I’ve recently had the same conversation with my boyfriend. Tighty-whities are hideous and incredibly unsexy. Especially the cheapo variety, like Fruit of the Loom. It makes me think of little boys and old men, not good looking men I want to have sex with. Tighty whities are the male equivalent to granny panties for women.
Thanks, Phoebe. Another strike to my ego. But I’m slowly getting rid of all of them… they’re now only 1/3 of my collection.
Stop listening to all these clowns. Listen to Bryan. Briefs are hot, boxers are useless and boxer-briefs…to damn uncomfortable. Who says briefs have to be white? Try black of grey.
I wear boxers and boxer-briefs. they are comfortable and they are not huging your balls. Briefs are to damn uncomfortable. Get AE boxers or even Calvin Klien. It is not cool to be seen with whitie-tighty’s in front of your girlfriend or a hot chick.
Thanks a lot, Bobby. Right before I hopefully get new people coming here from Washington D.C., I needed you to remind everyone about my former uncool choice of underwear!
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I always find these extreme statements about mens underwear to be laugh out loud funny. If tighty whites are deal breaker for some women then let me be the first to break the deal. I like to wear them because they are so damn retro uncool. My wife is intelligent enough to have no problem with them
The type of underwear you wear depends on your body. For many years I was wearing boxers but I am switching to briefs. A sexy pair of briefs beats any pair of boxers hands down in my opinion. (Regular 3-packs aren’t that sexy!) To be sexy you have to walk a fine line between revealing a little bit and trying too hard. At websites like http://www.freshpair.com you will see that a multitude of styles and colors are available for briefs. I think any woman could appreciate your efforts to find a pair of sophisticated briefs that look good on you.
My boss has been quoting article after magazine article on how women prefer boxer-briefs over briefs. I’ve done some research and there are to major shools of thought on the subject. The first is the “I don’t want to see the package before it’s unwrapped” Women like to leave more to the imagination then men do and boxer-briefs draw attention way from the crotch area to the thighs while still accentuating the hips and thighs. This is the sole reason why I think boxer-briefs are trendy. The second is the “tighty-whitey” stigma. The assumption that this is how your mother dressed you and you still don’t know any better. Although most women do not state this, but I believe that it is ingrained in their subconscious and they react negatively purely due to instinct.;) An offshoot of this is the idea that the man does not have the attention to detail that a women expects if he only wears “white briefs”.
I have read Chickybabe’s informative blog and my wife and I both agreed that aside from the above points, It all depends in the physique of the man wearing the undies. A Calvin Klein model would look good wearing boxers, briefs, or boxer-briefs. A skinny guy would look even skinier in boxers. An overweight guy in briefs, well, you get the picture……
Which brings up the point of whether their past experiences have swayed their current opinion. What is the physique of the men they typically see in their underwear?
ie. Have they been traumatized by a hairy belly hanging over briefs?
I personally prefer briefs as they are the most supportive yet unrestrictive. My wife agrees as long as they fit well, they look good. I have not tried boxer-briefs although I worn my share of bicycling shorts and am not fond of the tightness in the thigh area. But could there be a correlation between the attractiveness of boxer-briefs and the image of cycling? I have read on another poll that the one piece of sports equipment that that women would like to find in the back seat of their date’s car was a cycling helmet. Coincidence?
I think that, when someone see’s you in just your underwear, you should feel like your in your underwear! Boxers are fine but no different than a bathing suit. As for boxer-briefs ladies, they are just a LONGER version of the brief!? It’s because I am a REAL MAN, that I’ll be keeping my tighty-whities and wear them with confidence(BTW-My grandpa always wore boxers)!
Each type of underwear has its place. Could you imagine doing the bench press in the gym with your legs spread in boxers and gym shorts and putting on a show for everyone? No thanks! I’ll leave that to the exhibitionists. For most athletic activities, briefs work best for me. In November of ’05, I began cycling 8 miles each way to work and back to get more cardio every day. Having always worn briefs (colored ones after age 19), I wore jeans and briefs – not the most comfortable combination with an anatomically correct bicycle seat. I have high end cycling shorts. They are great (and necessary) for 25 mile plus rides, but I’m still getting used to snug fit. I discovered that boxers and mesh gym shorts work well for shorter rides during the warmer part of the year because there are no seams in the crotch that chafe. Once I got used to boxers, I actually did not mind the lack of support and wear them all of the time now. The only drag is if you happen to get aroused, it’s difficult to hide. A general rule to be observed: if you’re wearing snug shorts or pants, don’t wear boxers unless you want people to stare. When you are home with your significant other, wear all different kinds. It’s always fun to keep your partner guessing! As far as the tighty whities, they are functional and do their job. They look great on a buffed guy as any other type of underwear. If you’re expecting to hook up, dress for the occasion and wear something with color that will look hot while you’re ripping your clothes off. To all of the writers who feel so intense about the subject, lighten up! Let your friends and lovers be free to wear what they want. They will give you the same space in return.
I say do not listen to all of these people saying what you should wear. Wear whatever the hell you want. If a girl is hung up on what undies you wear, than she is a shallow bitch and you are better off without her. Also I wonder what a womans rights group would say if we were leaving a trail of posts saying women should wear thongs because it is now more popular given the influence of the skanks we see on MTV and such. Well I say briefs, boxers, whatever, they hold your boys and stop them from touching you pants, thats it, and girls and guys – get over it and yoursleves.
I’m sixteen, personally I prefer bikini briefs … my girlfriend doesn’t really care what kind of underwear I wear. Just go with whatever you feel comfortable in. If a girl isn’t gonna want to be with you because of your underwear, why the hell do you wanna date her?
Neil, you shouldn’t get rid of your briefs. Nowadays, men tend to care about things only girls used to care about. You want your underwears to be sexy ? Underwears are not meant to be sexy. People want their underwears not to look like underwears, that’s why they like boxers or colored boxer-briefs. Have to undress in a locker room ? With boxers, you are in underwears but you look like you are wearing shorts. But it is a normal thing to wear underwears, so people shouldn’t feel uncomfortable in a locker room. They should feel uncomfortable wearing underwears in the street, of course, but it’s not supposed to happen. Feeling uncomfortable or not is a matter of context.
It is so rare to see down-to-earth people who don’t care about their underwears. Don’t turn into some kind of teenager who look at himself in the mirror thinking “wow I look cute in those boxer-briefs” (and who looks awful when fully dressed).
People tend to dress in a way that is more and more casual. Blue jeans were once considered too casual to be worn in many places. They are considered normal almost everywhere now. Now the flip-flops are getting more and more popular and well accepted. Don’t you think it’s weird that people tend to care less about their clothes and more about their underwears ?
Stick with briefs. Regarding men clothes, the best are the old-fashion ones (or maybe we’ll see James Bond wearing shorts, t-shirt and flip-flops in the next movie). Keep your brain sane and prevent all this advertising crap from contaminating it.
Sorry if my english is bad (writing from Paris, it is 04:46 am here, I should sleep a little before going to work).
I love boxer-briefs, they’re probably the sexier underwear choice for a man- all the benefits of briefs, but they look nice.
http://www.verygoodbuys.com/ug_xxxboxer.jpg
Oh and by the way, I had a chat with a RELATE councellor person the other day, you know, the kind that councels people on their relationships, and let me tell you- women do not have orgasms all the time. In fact, and I quote- “95% of women do not orgasm via penetrative sex alone”. Those sex polls are rubbish! Leave them at home. Another common problem was erectile disfunction and a very, very common problem is early-ejaculation. So interesting talking to these people…
boxer breifs are the best
boxers r to loose
breifs are to old man or to little kidie for a man
and boxer breifs fight best
they r a compirise for boxers n briefs
hope this comment helps u
Get with it guys! Its 2006……jeans are tighter and mostly low rise! and the baggy, ghetto hip hop, saggin thing is played out! Loved my boxers with all that…..but moved on! Some trunks now….but mostly briefs! (colors and tighty whities!)…..and if ya aint fat….it shows off what yur all about! and lots of choices….not just fruit of the looms!
i wear breifs
I started out with briefs. Then became self-conscious and got boxer-shorts, loose ones. Them boxer briefs. I’m slowly going back to briefs. Boxers give no support, boxer briefs give me rashes due to friction and don’t let the skin breathe properly. Try feeling comfy with sweat under your smashed balls. Briefs or bikini briefs are the most comfortable for my type of body – skinny. I mean, who I am trying to fool or convince? I’m no model. And I no longer wear baggies, I’m going back to tight fit trousers. I do believe, however, that really brave guys don’t go commando. They wear thongs or lingerie.
Point is: I’ve seen – and felt – it all. Briefs are the way. But mark my words: thongs are the future. That’s what our sons will be wearing. :-p
I have worn plain white brief since I was a little boy, and still do, and am now 50 years old. I have learned that when having to split a hotel room with another man, (for business reasons), that most other mature men tend to wear plain cheap old FTLs or Hanes white briefs. It is more accepted when two grown men are in the hotel room together for the night, that when they strip down to lay on their beds and watch tv, that they aren’t showing off their fetishes for different types of fancy underpants. Its a masculine male bonding thing for men to wear just plain old basic white briefs. Years ago, back in the 50s, according to my Dad, all men wore plain white boxershorts, and that was the norm. If one had worn anything fancy, other men may think he is a bit on the limp wristed persuasion. Thats the impression I get now when I see these young men wearing their so called, “boxer-briefs”. They sure are not boxers, they are long colored briefs, that strong resemble the women’s girdles of yester-year. Real men don’t wear fancy panties, they wear plain white briefs, or plain white boxershorts. Thats the way it is, sorry.
It doesn’t matter what underwear you wear.If your woman is going to make fun of you or really cares about what underwear you were then that’s not a woman you want to be with.I’d say stick with what your used to. Personally I also prefer briefs but it’s all a matter of personal preference.
1) only a promiscuous woman would not like a man in white briefs.
2) you get to see a mans package, obviously that is not up to snuff for any “ladies” these days.
3) as long as self control is shown or you wash them no issues can show.
4) I have been converted to a metro sexual male because now I have different colors, and styles of underwear for different occasions, and I use scented soap now:/
5) misogynistic: a little, does it show?
Definitely GO COMMANDO – it’s the only way! Underwear of any kind is simply both uncomfortable and unnecessary. Ditch it fot good.
What is the world coming to when a woman decides what type of undershorts a man is going to wear. What’s the next step, women telling men to shave their body hair? Give me a break! Real men are hairy, if women don’t like that, they they need to explore their lesbian side.
Interesting post. As a guy, I wear all types of underwear except boxers. In college I wore boxers, because everyone did. In my late 20s I switched to boxer briefs. Much more comfortable. In my early 30s I switched to bikini briefs. Liked the snug feeling. Plus, I am trim and fit and the look is good on me. In my mid-30s, I even started wearing thongs. My GF is happy with my choices. She likes me to wear what I want. As for undressing me, her goal is to get me out of my underwear. She prefers me to be commando – she really gets turned on when she realizes I am not wearing undies. So Neil, wear what you like. And, as the guy above pointed out, different underwear for different occasions. Under short pants I wear boxer briefs, jeans or suits I wear mostly bikini briefs (no white, all colors), and when I work out I wear thongs – keeps me very snug in front with no constriction in the back, especially when running. (And, I have never had any comments one way or the other from others who may have seem my thong.)
If you’re fat, you need to wear boxers. If you’ve got an OK bod, you can wear briefs. But get some CKs or Hilfigers.
Woman say they don’t choose their underwear based on what men think – they choose what THEY want. Are men so desperate that they’ll change something as fundamental as their underwear style for women ?
And women – men have stuff down there they you know nothing about. Would you let a man tell you what style of bra you should wear ?
im a sixteen year old boy i really do not care what other people think about what kind of underwear i wear i wear boxers,breifs and boxer breifs. i think that boxers are alright when im just going out or just sitting at home i like boxer breifs because they are really comfortable and that is what all my friends wear. breifs are the kind of underwear for gym class or working out when i was younger i used to wear my boxers over my breifs because i didnt want to be embaressed infront of my friends to this day i still have breifs and wear them on occasions. i still think that boxers are the most popular underwear but boxer breifs are still the best way to go
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When I was growing up, I wore briefs like everyone else. I switched to boxers during that whole massive rebellion against “tighty-whities”. About 9 months ago, my girl-friend insisted on me switching back to briefs. I refused.
A few weeks later, I noticed that I kept getting cuts on the insides of my legs when I would work out (I’m a pretty athletic guy). Upon closer inspection of my boxer shorts, I noticed that the fabric became coarse and would cut into my legs (and I wear baggy clothing). Furthermore, the boxers would ride up a lot or the waistband would chafe. I switched to briefs as a matter of course. It took a week or two, but I got used to them. I couldn’t go back to boxers the way I work out and boxer-briefs just suck because the legs scrunch up.
My vote is for briefs, but avoid the white kind. You gotta be expressive with who you are. Last note, commando is all well, but boxers are the same damned thing with en extra layer of fabric. Get some underwear that really is underwear. It’s all about hygiene and fashion. Show what you have
.
Go Commando! Its the ONLY way to go. I grew up in briefs and have tried the others. Commando is the most comfortable and healthiest for you. Let the boys swing free!
Whats ironic about this is that a generation ago all guys wore plain white briefs. It meant you were athletic and confident. Boxers were for old men and fat guys. During the last 20 years theres been a total reversal of this. I vote for briefs because they provide support. The sperm-count thing has actually been proven a myth, and in any case, what young guy actually wants to get a girl pregnent? If you wear boxers your balls will hit the floor by old age. Plus, there not at all suitable for sports or anything athletic. The pendulum is swinging back towards fashionable briefs. Boxers only became popular in the early 90′s because of the baggy jeans style. They have no real function, except maybe as sleep-wear.
If a girl rejects you because of your underwear – find someone better.
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i am 16 and were white briefs and no one givea a crap and a few of my friends were them to and my ex girlfriend liked them to