Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Citizen of the Month World Tour

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Let’s be honest with ourselves.  None of us are getting rich off of blogging.  In fact we’re probably losing money by not doing something more productive with our time.  Yeah, we all deep-down believe that blabbing about the man/woman we shtupped last night is going to get us a book deal.  But the chances are pretty slim, even if we’re shtupping them a lot.

There is only one way sure way to make money blogging —  getting SPONSORS.  Hey, if Tiger Woods is OK walking around with a Nike cap on 24/7, why wouldn’t I?

I know what you’re thinking.  "Who the hell would want to sponsor me?"   But I know the answer. 

Companies involved in the travel industry. 

As Chris writes in Brainfuel

Have you noticed an increase in the number of people who decide to travel the world and at the same time write it off? Take a look at The Traveling Guys web site for a brief moment. Ok? Did you see the sponsors section? No? Well, they have more than a hundred individual sponsors and a good dozen companies sponsoring their trip.

They are not alone.  Chris also mentions 10mph, the story of three guys riding across America on a Segway.  And then there’s Fat Man Walking, some nut who’s walking from San Diego to New York.

All of these guys are travelling for FREE, simply by blogging about their stupid experiences.  As a cheap person, this is very attractive to me.

I thought long and hard to come up with my own gimmick.  I love to travel and I don’t like to pay for myself.  So far, so good. 

What else do I love to do?  I love to blog!  And I love all my blogging friends! 

That’s it!  The answer.

Today, September 7, 2005, I officially announce the availability of sponsorship for the "Citizen of the Month" World Tour.

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What is the World Tour?  It means that  I will take a year off and travel the world, visiting each person on my blogroll.  All travelling expenses will be paid for by my sponsors.   However, to save money, each person on my blogroll must put me up in their home, feed me, and take me on a 3-hour tour of their city.  

Estee, you will have to put me up for two weeks because I really want to see Australia.  Josia, we will have plenty of time to talk about Kabbalah when I stay with you for the entire Hebrew month of Adar.   Modigli, you know I love you, but do I really want spend more than two days in Cleveland?   Maybe you can come with me to Australia.  Estee has plenty of room.  JJ, I’ve always wanted to see Texas.  I even own a cowboy hat that I wore once at a country dance club.  Brooke, I will be visiting you in Florida for… well, let’s see how it goes…

I will be spending at least two months in New York, since there are so many bloggers there.  Please argue among yourselves over who has the best apartment for me to stay in.  I would prefer Manhattan over Brooklyn.  Please, no Queens.  If I have to live in Queens, I might as well stay with my parents.

London, Paris, Hong Kong — here I come!

Don’t worry, Californians.  I won’t forget you.  I will be giving up my apartment next month so I can live with each of you for two weeks.    I should warn you, I do snore.

In case any of my women readers are concerned, I am a perfect gentleman.  But if you do catch me trying to take a peek at you while you’re taking a shower — be advised that it is all for art — my next blog post and nothing else.

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Sponsors, do you hear me?  I mean you — American Airlines, Samsonite Luggage, Hertz Rent-a-Car, AOL, Australian Board of Tourism, Diet Coke, Bloglines, Gawker Media, NBC/Universal, The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, Hanes Underwear (the best!), the Rockefeller Foundation, Microsoft, the Jewish Federation, iPod, Taco Bell, and readers like YOU.

See you all soon!

57 Comments

  1. And what am I – chopped liver? Can’t I go, too?
    Your readers are very hospitable, tolerant and understanding, aren’t they? I won’t even stand in the way of you and Brooke.

  2. Uh, sure… Maybe we can also get some sponsorships from the Association of Marriage Counselors.

  3. C’mon over! Although, it’s probably only a two block hike to my place… not sure how much you will see except a potentially horrifying glimpse into my neuroses…but hey, it’s good blogging fodder…(oh geez, did I just use the word “fodder”?) 🙂

  4. The Internet has always been good for generating great ideas for making money (even though none of them ever play out). I, too, have considered the travel and blogs idea, though I was mainly thinking tax write-offs.

    But not so long ago it seemed that everyone I knew saw the Internet as a great cash cow through porn. They all wanted to start their own porn sites to make gazillions of dollars using webcams and masked strangers. I don’t think any of them were terribly successful though some tried damned hard. I still have images of some of them burned into my brain that I wish with all my might I could be rid of.

    Perhaps the real money motherload resides in travel as an around-the-world porn tour – blogged from everywhere and every position. With accompanying tips on where to stay, where to eat and with whom to enjoy cultural congress of the undressed sort.

    I haven’t figured out the sponsor angle though. Maybe American Apparel?

  5. My father is ever so right: I’m not the enterprising sort. Why this idea never entered my mind? My travel expenses paid by me, myself and I (although I can give great advice along the lines Bill up there was talking about).

    And no, Neil, my home is unavailable to you. But Sofochka is always welcome.

  6. A 3-hour tour? Three hours will barely take you from the airport to Notre-Dame…!

  7. Do you even own a passport Neil??

    Blogging from the beach in Israel will definitely open up A LOT more options for you …. 🙂 (be sure to bring a digital camera!!)

    I can see it now – you’ll be the white guy with the umbrella and TONS of sunscreen on!! ha ha ha!!!

  8. You are so very welcome in Austin, bud. I will show you the city I love so much. I will try to be a better tour guide than I was for Mernitman (I didn’t realize an old part of town had a new name). I will teach you how to say “hoss”. BBQ. Mexican Food. Fondue. Night Clubs. Swimming in Barton Springs. Movies at the Drafthouse. 6th Street. The warehouse district. You might have to spend the whole year here. But don’t bring the hat unless you have the cattle to go with it.

  9. Well since neither I nor Philly seem to be on your plan… Sophia, you have an open invite. Take you out for pint size maragritas, great theatre, and some of the best parties around… and there are some historic sites to if we get to them… a broken bell, old papers, blah blah blah.

  10. “Ahem” (sound of a throat being cleared).

    “Neil(taps Neil on shoulder), may I have a word with you please?”

    “Yes, Pearl, what is it?”

    “Um, are there no planned visits to Canada? I do live in Toronto, you know. It is a happening city. The world-renowned Toronto Film Festival is coming up, we have a great waterfront, wonderful restaurants and jazz clubs, good theater, clean sidewalks and streets, friendly people, and you Americans get more for your buck…”

    Neil: “Never even thought of Toronto as a place to visit. But, okay, you’ve convinced me. Pencil me in sometime in March or April. I like that idea of getting more for my buck.”

    Pearl: “You got it! But, um, Neil…?”

    Neil: “Yeah?”

    Pearl: “You’ll probably have to share a room with one of my three kids. Is that okay?

    Neil: “Sure…I’m still a little kid at heart. See you in the spring.”

  11. If those people from HBO don’t hire you and give you lots of money, I will become one of your corporate sponsors.

  12. a three-hour tour? a three-hour tour?
    Montreal, the “sex capital of North America,” is here for you. Come (heh) before the snow falls, though.

  13. I’d invite you to visit me in Milwaukee, but then you’d have to stay with my kids, and we all know how much you hate them.

  14. Sophia,

    Please come to Philadelphia — evidently the city Neil has forgotten. If you do show up, you will automatically double the number of attractive Republican females here. We can do down to South Street and incite riots with our conservatism or something. It’ll be a blast.

    Nancy

  15. You are too funny Neil. But what a great concept. My couch is yours. LOL.

  16. would you mind making it saturday night? i’ve got a date and i could really use a babysitter. i’ll put out the air mattress and leave a pizza in the freezer. oh, and i’ll probably come home late and have loud naughty sex in the next room, you don’t mind do you?

  17. I think you left out our nation’s capitol, beautiful Washington DC. You are most welcome. Maybe you can get a lobbyist of some kind to be your sponsor–what’s your cause?


  18. (continuing after 5 hrs break for the beach)…on the other hand, I’ m not obligated – ever – to wear Hanes.
    Hooray for self-reliance!

  19. When you’re in NY, you can go to work in my place for a day. All you have to do is write my blog and then go home. I don’t think anyone would even notice.

  20. If I move to Washington state before your tour, you can come stay with me there. But, if I am still in Santa Cruz, CA, while you are more than welcome to visit, I’d say just skip it.

    Who really needs to see the weirdos along the Pacific Garden Mall begging for change and occasionally singing off-key? Who needs to visit the weekly farmers market to join in on the drum circle and pass the pipe while puppies on rope leashes look on? Who needs to ride the Giant Dipper, one of the oldest roller coasters in the world (if it is that old, isn’t the likelihood of dying while riding it that much greater?)? With that said, I am a great host and a good cook!

    I acutally think this is not a bad idea in all seriousness. 😉

  21. I tried this once.

    Needless to say, I ended up getting arrested trying to make my way through “someone’s” back door who “said I could crash there” but who was only lying over IM just to placate me.

  22. you’re welcome to ireland if you can stand the rain!!!

  23. Well Pauly, if you weren’t wearing the ski mask maybe I wouldn’t have called the cops… and learn to use a damn doorbell!

  24. Didn’t mean to diss the beautiful cities of Philly or Toronto. Of course, I will visit you. But since I’m still in the “sponsorship stage” I need to sex the concept up as much as possible with the most exotic locales — sort of like how they pick the cities in MTV’s “Real World” series. Does anyone know any readers in Bali, Honolulu, Amsterdam, South Africa, or Florence?

  25. Real World was just here!
    (and that goodness they are gone)

  26. This TravelingGuys site has managed to depress me beyond all measure, since I didn’t think of it first.

    I shall steal their idea and make it better! Yes!

  27. I’m just impressed that you know bloggers in so many places! You are on to something here! I’m sure that just like anything, you can do it if you put enough energy into trying.

  28. I’m sorry I can’t even think clearly. Segway people make me want to run them over.

  29. mi casa su casa, neil.
    since sydney appears to be brooke’s favourite city maybe you should bring her too.
    modigli, we don’t know each other from adam, but hey! you can come too.
    we can all go down to circular quay for that gelato neil’s been craving since i started reading his blog.

  30. Brilliant idea! And you know you want to come to Asheville.

  31. I suppose you could come and stay here in our happy little burg, but I often why anyone in their right mind would want to come here and what does it say about those of already here that we make little or no attempt to leave? Are we fools, then, or merely mental incompetents, the exurban mad wandering through a fool’s paradise looking for the appliance department so we can return the Cuisinart we bought there only two days ago with an credit card belonging to a deceased friend whose move to another plane of existence has not yet been reported to financial institutions, Social Security, et al. And isnt this search for the appliance department a metaphor for humanity’s ongoing epic struggle to free ourselves from the uncivilized past and to reach those heights of culture and civilization wherein we will all find the keys to perfect happiness and the Tao, the way to the equally perfect knish? I must ponder this for awhile.

  32. There are people trying to get rich off of blogging?!

  33. Great idea!!!! I’m all for it! …. But only 2 days in Cleveland???? … Man, I really need to get out of here. Maybe I move somewhere better you’ll stay for a longer visit.

    ps. love your macchu picchu picture!

  34. Oh, and yeah! Estee invited me to join you all for the Australia trip! … I feel so loved. 🙂

  35. Come on over to Christmas City, USA (that’s Bethlehem, PA for those of you not in the know). Since you are Jewish, the best time to vist is the 2nd week of August – 10 days of free music in the streets and you can stroll the streets with beer in hand and no one cares.

    You can stay in our basement – it has it’s very own private toilet (yes, just a toilet…in the corner).

    Good luck on the sponsorship!

  36. okay, first of all, come visit, yay! and secondly, i work for a pr firm that specializes in travel clients (hotel chains, cruise lines, destinations) and basically what you are writing is entirely true!!! we give people free stays, vacations, voyages if they can place a story about our client in a major publication. i will tell you though, that a blog would NOT garner you a free cruise to the far east and asia (a voyage that i am now searching for one more writer, have 9 already, to sail on, it’s harder than you think to get these people to commit). you’d need to deliver the LA Times or something…or you’d need to sleep with the publicist. (haha, JOKE!)

  37. I have room for you for a few days….don’t you want to see Montana?? You can be a ranchhand for a few days, no?

  38. good post. Just passing through, cool blog by the way.

  39. Viggo and I would be happy to have you and Sophia come stay with us. It’s the least we can do, after all, you brought us together.

  40. Philadelphia was ready to receive 5,000 refugees from New Orleans, had housing, medical attention, and goodies all lined up… and when the plane landed… instead of 5,000 people… there were….

    38.

    Even people without homes don’t want to come to Philadelphia.

    And NOW Neil says that Philly lacks some sort of sexiness quotient?

    That’s it. I’m leaving.

  41. I only just read Estee’s comment. Yes! Sydney! I’m there!!! Neil can take us all to The Rockpool for dinner.

  42. Ashville…Montana… San Bernadino…, uh… Bethlehem, PA — I’ve already stuck the pins in my new map of the world on my wall. (Is Bethlehem, PA anywhere near Amish Country? — I’ve always wanted to help out in a barn-raising — imagine that blog post!)

    Amanda — Considering your “connections,” I think I’m going to be staying with you in Manhattan. Are you close to the E train? By the way, have I told you how nice your new haircut is?

    Nancy — Philadelphia is very sexy. I once ate in this restaurant downtown — you’ll have to remind me of the name — which has been around since the 18th century and they serve you “authentic” awful dishes from the time period, like pheasant. But the buxom waitress was wearing one of those tight corset-things from that era, and I still remember THAT to this day. So, Philly can be very sexy, even with all those fattening Philly Cheese steaks.

    Brooke — one question. Are you coming along because you want to spend some “quality time” with me OR do you just want to get a free trip to Australia? Think about the correct answer before you say anything rash.

  43. Yes, the City Tavern… live near it. Did you drink the authentic beer, from Revolutionary times? It helps the rest of it go down a little more smoothly.

  44. Neil, you’re mentioning Amish country in Pennsylvania…

    Many many years ago, I traveled to that part of the country and visited an Amish homestead museum in Intercourse, Pennsylvania. Isn’t that a riot of a name?

    In their gift shop, I couldn’t help but pick up the local touristy newspaper THE INTERCOURSE NEWS and buy a button that said “Ask me about Intercourse.”

  45. May I borrow that button, Pearl?

  46. Sure, but you have to travel with Neil to Toronto in the spring to get it.

    As for the Intercourse News, I always wanted to take the paper, make a copy, duplicate it as a blank, and write my own feature articles in place of the existing ones.

    I work in the women’s fiction genre publishing industry; even if I didn’t have great personal stories to write about, I could lift some from the books, and make them my own!

  47. Intercourse News from Lancaster, PA:

    http://tinyurl.com/dxwm3

  48. I hope you are considering a trip through the bay area, I am always willing to open my home to strangers from the internet.

  49. YES. Visit Sizzle and I in Santa Cruz. We are home to the Mystery Spot! And well if that doesn’t entice you enough, Sizzle is a great cook…and we are good for a night on the town with cocktails 🙂

  50. Dude, why would you want to go to San Bernadino when you can come visit me in Riverside? I have a whole empty house available for your stay. Pull up a patch of floor and it’ll feel like home!

    I, too, am trying to think of a way to travel for free. One day I’ll think of a way that hasn’t been done a billion times already, and when I do, I’m outta the IE!

  51. hang on, wait, wait, wait… you’re saying that my sex blog en’t going to make me rich???

    then … why the heck am i bothering with it???

    maybe there’s another way to convert sexual intercourse into hard cash. i’ll let you know if i find out what it is.

    when you come to australia, my significant other’s architecture firm will sponsor you four slices of pizza and a spot on the couch.

    just go to the end of kerferd road pier in albert park, melbourne (home of the grand pricks), and aksk for wegglywoo.

  52. Damn, this blog is just a cornucopia of ideas! I’ve never been much of a traveller – I’m a stay-at-home kinda guy. I’m very domestic, in a slovenly way. So to hell with the travel blog idea – I’ve a better one. And I’m sure it’s a money maker.

    I’m buying up some land and starting my own town! Next time you pass through Canada – forget Toronto! Forget Montreal!

    Come to Fellatio, Alberta. Like the ads say (or will say), “It blows!”

    (I’m sorry. I know it’s juvenile. But it made me laugh.)

  53. Hey Neil, I’m a marriage counselor…I’ll sponsor you, and you only have to drive over the hill to the glorious, smog-free valley. And I’m sure one of my kids will share a room with you.

  54. Bethlehem, PA is about 1.5 hours from the Amish, but if you are going to go to Intercourse, PA, you might as well stop by Blue Balls and Virginville. Sadly, all real cities in PA.

  55. Neil – How about you meet me in Sacramento and we will travel to my home state of New Mexico? I have family that we can crash with. You would love it there 🙂

  56. Hope you don’t mind cats, dogs and kids! And three hours will pretty much cover Yorba Linda.

  57. Jason — the Nixon Library alone will take an hour and a half. And I remember there was a pretty good Denny’s nearby, too.

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