I love NBC. I really do. And I’m not just saying that because I recently applied for a job there.
The people at NBC are very nice. I enjoyed my interview. Before the interview, I went to human resources. I spoke with a very nice and attractive executive. We joked a lot about the relationship between NBC and Universal. While I was there, I was given some paper work to fill out — and when I say paperwork, I mean PAPERWORK. You know, the typical questions for a corporate human resources department:
Where have I worked for the last ten years? What are my last seven residences? Have I ever applied for a job at NBC before? Do I know anyone at NBC? What are my references? Have I ever made a joke or a disparaging comment about NBC’s lame comedies since Frasier left the air? Have I ever watched one of the dozen different Law and Orders and can I distinguish one from the other? Do I like David Letterman better than Jay Leno? Have I ever been convicted of a crime or been in jail?
Now, imagine I have been convicted of a serious crime. Imagine I did do some jail time. Do you think I would have a chance to get the low paying job I was applying for, something I’m way overqualified to do?
Even better, do you think they would let me host my own TV show — say a spin-off of "The Apprentice," one of the network’s most popular shows?
NOTE TO THOSE COMING FROM 2 BLOWHARDS: I’d like to welcome you here. Please check out the other people on my blogroll. They are much friendlier than I am. I also would like to thank Michael Blowhard for his kind words about this site. If only you would have made them earlier, maybe I would have gotten that stupid NBC job (which I didn’t). Next time, I’ll fake you as a reference. I also promise to stop describing your terrific blog to others as "the egghead one."