Time travel is becoming a theme on this blog. Last week, I wrote about how Dockers was going to call me on July 22 to discuss my “free” flight on July 16. Today, I’m going to talk about my Queens apartment building’s “July 4th BBQ,” which took place Sunday, July 13th (and also wasn’t much of a BBQ).
In the last chapter of this Flushing, NY drama, various ethnic groups and vegetarians were fighting over the proposed July 4th BBQ. Should it be kosher? Should it be the most stricter glatt kosher? If it is kosher, should it also be halal? If it is halal, shouldn’t it also be vegetarian? Finally, the apartment building’s “Board of Directors” cancelled the whole shindig.
But then something happened. Everyone had to take the same elevator. People had to look each other in the eye. Jew and Muslim. Hindu and Christian. Vegetarian and Carnivore. Surely, as New Yorkers they could agree on something. And they did — BAGELS.
The July 4th BBQ was back on! People do love each other after all! There was dancing in the lobby around the mailbox slots and into the laundry room. The Hora! Sensual Arab bellydancing! The tarantella! Salsa! Hip-hop! The latest moves from Bollywood!
But then, as in every soap opera, there was a new twist. The Board of Directors had changed their mind so many times, that by the time they announced this July 4th meatless “BBQ” Bagelfest, half of the tenants in the apartment building had already made plans for July 4th. Tenants complained.
“What kind of wishy-washy Board of Directors are you?”
“Maybe we need a change in leadership!”
“Let’s have early elections for new Board of Directors! We need people who can be decisive!”
The Board of Directors freaked out. How could they live in the neighborhood with everyone knowing them as the “apartment building board members that were booted out?” They came up with an intriguing plan —
Soon, there were fliers posted everywhere for the July 4th “Former BBQ” — now Bagel Brunch — celebrating our country’s diversity on… July 13th!
By the time I came down to the community room at 11AM, 3/4 of the tenants had grabbed the good bagels and left.