The trouble began, like most things in the world, in Saskatchewan, Canada.Â Â Some cute female blogger asked me to send her a drawing of my “talking penis character” to include in her scrapbook, or something like that.Â At first I said no.Â But she wouldn’t give up.
I challenged Neil to send me a watercolour of his talking penis? And then he said he would, but didn’t? And then I twitter taunted him and called him a watercolour c**ck tease? Well, he came through (so to speak), just for me.
Now there is a cartoon of my “talking penis” posted on someone’s blog in Canada (via Savia).
And I feel ashamed.
I can only imagine my upcoming therapy session when I have to admit what I did:
Therapist: â€œYou shouldnâ€™t let a woman sway your emotions one way or another. You need to be YOU.â€
Neil: â€œRight. Right.â€
Therapist: â€œAnd you need to learn to say â€œNOâ€ to women. Donâ€™t be a pushover and let them run your life.â€
Neil: â€œYes, uhâ€¦ well, I wanted to bring that upâ€¦â€
Neil: â€œWell, there is this female blogger in Canada named Saviaâ€¦ well, sheâ€™s cute, and she, uh, likes to collect naughty drawings, and asked me to send her a drawing of my talking Penisâ€¦â€
Therapist: â€œHow immature. Of course you told her that was impossible. Youâ€™re an adult who doesnâ€™t do those sorts of things. A college-educated man. Besides, there are no such things as talking Penises.â€
Neil: â€œYes, of course. Talking Penises donâ€™t really exist, butâ€¦â€
Therapist: â€œOh noâ€¦â€
Neil: â€œâ€¦but she seemed so disappointed when I said no. And you know how I hate to disappoint a woman.
Neil: â€œShe was crying on Twitter, for godsakes! I didnâ€™t realize that she was actually going to put it on her blog. I thought it was just for her.â€
Therapist: â€œWhy? Neil. Why would you do something like that? Why would you send something so personal to a person you hardly know?â€
Neil: â€œI donâ€™t know.â€
Neilâ€™s Penis: â€œI know! I know. Even a Fifth Grader knows the answer to that one. Heâ€™s hoping to one day get into her pants!â€
Neil: â€œShut up, Penis!â€
Therapist: â€œWho ARE you talking to, Neil?â€