the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Pumpkin Pie


I felt bad about the last salacious post, and I thought it was time for me to write something a little more wholesome, in honor of the arrival of October and one of my favorites – Pumpkin Pie!

Pumpkin Pie

Women love – they crave – pumpkin pie
And clueless men ask me, “Why oh why?”
Seriously, men, why such a surprise
Women love pumpkin pie just like us guys!
So listen carefully to my little poem
And make her happy at home sweet home.


Pumpkin pie will make her day
When it is served a certain way
Some like it cold, some like it hot
Do whatever will hit her spot
Some like the pie with a little whipped cream
If you serve it right, she’ll likely scream.


So bring her over to the Pumpkin Patch
She’ll find the pumpkin to itch her scratch
Pumpkins of every shape and size
Lying there, waiting — a feast for her eyes
It’s October, the heavenly bells do ring
The time of year when all women sing

“Pumpkin Pie! Pumpkin Pie!
Bring me some of the Pumpkin Pie!
Pumpkin Pie! Pumpkin Pie!
Without your sweetness,
I might as well die!”


  1. chantel

    Pumpkin Pie is my absolute favorite pie. I have some close seconds but nothing beats it. Maybe I’ll make one tonight?

  2. sizzle

    i really only like crust. . . and whipped cream. that’s not really pie, is it?

  3. butterfly

    I love pumpkin pie, too. And home-baked apple pie — it’s hard to pick one over the other. And my mom’s cheesecake. And her carrot cake…ugh!

    However, something is bothering me about this post…it seems innocent enough, but I can’t help but feel that it still might be about something else even more salacious (a la Warrant’s Sweet Cherry Pie), veiled in Harvest Season Neilochka Floetry, and I am being made a fool of.

    Damn you, Neil!

  4. 180/360

    I prefer Pumpkin Cheesecake. But tomorrow I’m heading to the pumpkin patch with the children. Yay for fall!

  5. Paige Stanton

    Omigawd that is flippin’ amazing. Does it come with a giant fork too? You could sit right down in it and just eat?!

  6. Nance

    Pumpkin is about the only pie I don’t like. The consistency, the flavor…I just really hate it.


    Can I have something else?

  7. Atomic Bombshell

    Amen… Pumpkin pie is the bees knees!

  8. Not Fainthearted

    And by pumpkin you meant…..

  9. mrsmogul

    I ate a whole pumpkin pie from this crappy supermarket the other day. IT WAS GOOOOD!!

  10. Laura

    oooohhhh lordy… so much pumpkin pie…. i loves me some pumpkin paaaaaaiiiiieeeee

  11. teahouseblossom

    Pumpkin pie is my FAVORITE of all time!! I love it with a big scoop of Stu Leonard’s vanilla ice cream and just a dash of whipped cream.

    Geez, I’m really drooling now..

  12. Pumpkin

    You know the whole reason I picked ‘pumpkin pie’ as my secret blogger name is because I missed it so much in France.

    This post made me smile all the way through it. 🙂

  13. Y

    I was eating a piece of pie just before I clicked on over here.


  14. gorillabuns

    seriously, i HATE pumpkin pie!

    is there something wrong with me?

  15. better safe than sorry

    i love pumpkin pie and actually have all the ingredients waiting in my pantry to bake this weekend, it’s our thanksgiving next monday.
    happy poetry tuesday? or are those lyrics for your next song?

  16. plain jane

    Wow. You really fooled everyone, huh?

    As I read, “I though[t] it was time for me to write something a little more wholesome…” I knew that it wan’t going to be wholesome at all.

  17. V-Grrrl

    Well Neil, as your choice of photos indicates–SIZE matters.

    Not to ruin your day or anything….

  18. churlita

    Thank god this wasn’t salacious at all.

    As long as it’s not mince meat, I love pie.

  19. kimananda

    Pumpkin pie is the best part of autumn. If only I could get a can of pumpkin for less than it’s weight in gold here. For now, I’ll make do with the photos and the poem. 🙂

  20. Jody

    I can’t eat pumpkin pie. Pumpkin is an anti-nausea food and that in itself is nauseating to me. 🙁

  21. lizardek

    OMG – I love pumpkin pie. I had to have one while I was home and I got nearly the entire thing to myself (over the course of a week). Yay for pie!

  22. Neil

    Boy, how innocent you all are. Doesn’t anyone get that this isn’t really about pie?

    Uh, yes it is. I changed my mind. Pumpkin pie.

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