The trouble began, like most things in the world, in Saskatchewan, Canada. Some cute female blogger asked me to send her a drawing of my “talking penis character” to include in her scrapbook, or something like that. At first I said no. But she wouldn’t give up.
I challenged Neil to send me a watercolour of his talking penis? And then he said he would, but didn’t? And then I twitter taunted him and called him a watercolour c**ck tease? Well, he came through (so to speak), just for me.
Now there is a cartoon of my “talking penis” posted on someone’s blog in Canada (via Savia).
And I feel ashamed.
I can only imagine my upcoming therapy session when I have to admit what I did:
Therapist: “You shouldn’t let a woman sway your emotions one way or another. You need to be YOU.”
Neil: “Right. Right.”
Therapist: “And you need to learn to say “NO” to women. Don’t be a pushover and let them run your life.”
Neil: “Yes, uh… well, I wanted to bring that up…”
Neil: “Well, there is this female blogger in Canada named Savia… well, she’s cute, and she, uh, likes to collect naughty drawings, and asked me to send her a drawing of my talking Penis…”
Therapist: “How immature. Of course you told her that was impossible. You’re an adult who doesn’t do those sorts of things. A college-educated man. Besides, there are no such things as talking Penises.”
Neil: “Yes, of course. Talking Penises don’t really exist, but…”
Therapist: “Oh no…”
Neil: “…but she seemed so disappointed when I said no. And you know how I hate to disappoint a woman.
Neil: “She was crying on Twitter, for godsakes! I didn’t realize that she was actually going to put it on her blog. I thought it was just for her.”
Therapist: “Why? Neil. Why would you do something like that? Why would you send something so personal to a person you hardly know?”
Neil: “I don’t know.”
Neil’s Penis: “I know! I know. Even a Fifth Grader knows the answer to that one. He’s hoping to one day get into her pants!”
Neil: “Shut up, Penis!”
Therapist: “Who ARE you talking to, Neil?”