the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

The Next Neilochka Adventure!

First there was —

Neilochka and the Sorcerer’s Wand


Audiences around the world loved the first book of the Neilochka series, as we first meet the young Neilochka, his separated wife, the Sorceress Sophia, and Neilochka’s trusty talking “magic wand.”  After the death of his father, the wizard-in-training and the Sorceress Sophia go on several magical and enchanting adventures, including the exciting battle over the Golden Coupon at Lord Dumbledum’s Olive Garden.

And then you were enchanted by —

Neilochka and the Chamber of Redondowarts


The second Neilochka book, another fan favorite, was the perfect blend of wit, whimsy, and macabre, as Neilochka and Sorceress Sophia try to live together in the mysterious Redondowarts School, an imaginative, garden-filled school of Witchcraft, Wizardry, and Purple Bathrobes.   The tone of this sequel turns dark as the duo face the evil Pink Dragon of Fire, but they are luckily aided by two of the series’ most colorful characters, the Baby Pigeon of Dimwit and Queen Abbbabba, the musical Dancing Queen.

and now, coming soon  –!

Neilochka and the Order of the Mistress


Soon, readers everywhere will be spellbound by the most breath-taking Neilochka book ever!  The heart of Book 3 is a hero’s journey, not just Neilochka’s search for fame and glory, but Neilochka’s journey into manhood.   Traumatized by her battle with the Pink Dragon, Sorceress Sophia is told by the Magic Headshrinker of Freudinroy that she requires healing.  Fans of the series will be shocked as the Sorceress requests that Neilochka leave Redondowarts for several months, giving her the space so she can work on her spells. 

But where will Neilochka go?  Will he go to the big city and reconnect with his long-lost mother or will he live as a prisoner in the Azkabian Bachelor Apartments of Muggyville?  Will Neilochka and the Sorceress ever reunite or is this their final chapter together?

Readers beware.  This journey is hard, filled with events both tragic and triumphant.  However, as long as Neilochka has his trusty talking magic wand, ready to  perform the protective Erecto Patronum when it is called for, he will never be truly alone.


  1. sizzle

    i wish this was a choose your own adventure kind of book.

  2. psychomom

    Damn the Headshrinker of Freudinroy! You are suppose to turn to your support group not turn them away.

    Bummer dude, psychomom support {HUG}

  3. V-Grrrl

    You can move to Belgium and start an expat blog. Or, I know a certain Grrrl who just bought a house in Virginia and needs a short-term tenant to rent it until she moves back to America in 2008. Ready for a Southern adventure?

  4. sputnik

    Well, I know one thing. If he goes to the big city, he should definitely avoid wearing the vintage non-invisibility coat.

  5. MammaLoves

    I know our hero will prevail!

    And we’re nice here in VA.

  6. Bre

    Well – on the upside all fairy tales end in “happily ever after” even when you think they won’t

  7. MA

    This is absolutely brilliant, Neil. You could always come and hang out in DC. The Washington Post loves you.

  8. Dagny

    Natasha has told me that no more creatures are allowed in our home. Otherwise, I’d tell you there’s a futon in Berkeley. And of course, you’d be responsible for feeding Boris when he starts demanding food at 4 a.m.

    Best of luck with it all!

  9. Danny

    BRILLIANT! Sad, but brilliant! And how on earth did you make those illustrations look so much like you??

  10. Lisa

    The Pacific Northwest awaits the befuddled Neilochka with open arms. Take things one step at a time.

  11. Two Roads

    Well with BF in the middle east and best girl friend leaving for Virginia, I’m looking for a new friend to hang out with in Georgia! 🙂

  12. Caron

    Wizardry is welcome on the mystical shores of the Mississippi.

  13. plain jane

    Trust that you can find peace and happiness in your own heart.

    Take V-grrl up on her VA offer! There are about a gazillion bloggers for you to meet in D.C. and it might be good to have a complete (temporary) change. I bet you can work from anywhere + the house sounds fab.

  14. Pearl

    Neil and his trusty “talking magic wand” ought to go wherever the whispering winds take them…just as long as Neil has access to the Internet and to his wonderful imagination and talent for the written word.

    May the Sorceress Sophia work on her magic spells and slay the Pink Dragon for once and for all!

  15. Tuck

    Has your talking penis given its okay to all this?

  16. E

    A little far away, but there’s a bed here for you in Sydney… in the guest room.

    Take heart Neilochka!

  17. Erin

    aw… well, the ABBA show at Red Rocks is this friday if you want to join us…

  18. Neil

    Erin — I’ve already told Sophia that I’m not going anywhere unless she comes with me to see Mamma Mia in Orange County in two weeks. We just got the tickets today. OK, so it isn’t the real ABBA — but I at least get a chance to wear my white polyester suit. Is yours Mamma Mia too or a real “fake” ABBA show? I’ve been to Red Rocks and that is one cool place, certainly more interesting than the Orange County Performing Arts Center, which is across the street from a giant mall.

  19. Geeky Tai-Tai

    I’m thinking that perhaps Neilochka needs to visit many lands near and far. All the while journaling about his many exciting adventures with the new friends he’s made along the way. Sydney is just a hop, skip, and a jump from Singapore ;0)

  20. lizardek

    Whatever you decide, I hope you keep your great attitude.

  21. helen

    Sorry, the word Erecto just stood out..

  22. Elisabeth

    I’d go with Vgrrrl’s offer. Great location, great house, wonderful landlords. This calls for a major move – one to the east coast. And – condider this: You’ll be closer to me too!

  23. brettdl


  24. Amy K

    Although I dont think you should be the one to leave, come to New York, Neil, and stay with your mom. Have real bagels, real pizza, and real matzoh ball soup for comfort. My boy and I will take you out for some really good Manhattans, too! 🙂

    Have you mentioned to Sophia that there are some amazing spiritual retreats out there that she may want to consider? Healing cant really happen in a place that you co-habitate with another, whether that person is there or not. It makes little sense. There are tons out there on the West Coast – I have certainly looked into them myself!

  25. Rhea

    Neil, you will love Mamma Mia. I’m not even an ABBA fan and I loved it. Come to Boston. We have boiled cabbaged, raw oysters, and bagels that are not as good as New York bagels. On second thought…

  26. Wendy

    omg Neil you are too much – love it

  27. Non-Highlighted Heather

    Oh sweetie…..

  28. churlita

    I’m sorry. Your last two posts make a lot more sense now. I hope everything works out for you – whether it’s what you thought you wanted or not.

  29. Smartsocraticss

    I don’t know how this “story” ends; fairy tales are all supposed to end with “happily ever after”; I love Harry Potter aka Neilochka and hope it isn’t Harry/Neilochka who bite the dust in the last installment. Maybe when the next story line is written, and read, I’ll know. In the meantime, I’ll keep reading and hoping that Neilochka’s journey is full of life, love, happiness and wealth. Oh, and lots of affect! (I could be that magic headshrinker in Freudinroy!)

  30. melanie

    I think its the job of headshrinkers to use that sentence in every session, so, that twist is not a surprise.

    where to go? come to the resort town of SB, where the celebs come to escape LA. There are lots of co-eds and the traffic is non-existent. 😉

  31. Finn

    You know what they say, if you have an erection, you have it all…

    That’s not what they say? Why not?

  32. sarah g

    sorry. prayers for you, that sucks, good luck to you both.

  33. Neil

    Uh, just in case anyone thinks I’m going to jump off a bridge (wait, are there any bridges in LA?), we’ve been separated before, and I should admit that Sophia never really asked me to move back in — I sort of sneaked in when she was in New York, and never left. So, I’m the guilty one.

    And this might be the best thing for both of us, even though we’re still getting along pretty well. Well, that’s a lie — MOST of the time. It is sad when two people who love each other just can’t seem to get it together. I wish I could say that we were the perfect “married couple,” but I can’t. Maybe we’re the perfect something else. Our relationship makes good blog posts because it is rarely dull, which is certainly good. But, I wonder sometimes if marriage is supposed to be a little dull, just so you can have some calm and downtime in an otherwise crazy world. We shouldn’t need to watch “24” and “Monster Truck Crashes” just to relax.

  34. Ellen B.

    So sorry. Sigh. I like you both.

  35. Edgy Mama

    Can I borrow your wand? And will you teach me the Erecto Patronum charm? Pretty please?

  36. ndulj

    Oh Neil, so sorry baby

  37. Liz R

    Did you check out Crazy Aunt Purl’s site today??? She has had an article written about her in the New York Times!!! Hurry, go to her site now; she has a link!!!

    Oh, and I’m so sorry for you. I read your blog but don’t comment much.

  38. Neil

    Thank you, Liz R for lifting my miserable spirits with that great info about Laurie’s mention in the New York times because of her hair. I already wrote something on my sidebar about her “news.” As if I didn’t have a post about my new haircut like A WEEK ago. And did the New York Times call me? No! The first time I had a short haircut in all my life?! And I’m from New York. Well, I’ll tell the world the truth — Laurie told me that she didn’t even like New York that much! It was too crowded! I love New York. My mother lives in New York. I read the New York Times! Why is life so unfair. New York, you suck. I’m moving to Saskatchewan, where the COOL people live. I bet you Laurie can’t even spell Saskatchewan. Some “writer!”

  39. Liz R

    I totally agree with you! Your hair is way cooler!! Just don’t tell her I said so, K??

    Here’s a virtual {{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}.

  40. Liz R

    And I’m from NYC too. I’m currently a Virginian. (only by geography; I’ll always be a NY-er by blood) I miss NYC so much!!

  41. buzzgirl

    If you want to sublet my apt. for a bit let me know. One bedroom only $624/month, utilities included. I’m just sayin’.

  42. Neil

    Are you sure your Northern Californian neighbors would allow a Southern Californian into the neighborhood?

  43. Rach

    So this is what happens, I go away for a couple of months and you’re in a comic strip? Good likeness though

  44. ingenue

    Neilochka, you have a very dramatic life. I hope that Sophia gets better and that your next adventure turns out well.

  45. buzzgirl

    Aw, Neil. Anything goes in SF, ya know? Besides, I moved here from LA myself… The offer stands.

  46. Postmodern Sass

    You’re just trying to one-up me, aren’t you? 🙂

    (It worked. You win.)

  47. Jennifer

    Is there a spoiler site for this series anywhere? Because really? If our hero doesn’t prevail I’ll be SERIOUSLY annoyed.

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