Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Make Believe

The Boyfriend Trouser — for the woman who doen’t have a boyfriend, but wants to make believe she does.

The Nike Cap — For the couch potato who doesn’t play golf like Tiger Woods, but wants to make believe he does.

The Leather Jacket — for the person who isn’t tough, but wants to make believe he is.

Friendster — for the person who doesn’t have any friends, but wants to make believe she does.

Technorati — for the person who isn’t important, but wants to make believe he is.

A Year Ago in Citizen of the Month: Man and Woman: Morning


  1. I don’t understand the appeal of pants that don’t fit women like they should… why would I want to look like I have no butt?

  2. Strap-ons: For the woman who has no penis, but wants to make believe she does.

    I like this game!

  3. Yeah, I’ve never wanted to commandeer any of my boyfriends’ pants…their shirts, however.

  4. I’m like… ALL those things!

  5. Very nice. But what are you trying to say? Is it so wrong to pretend that you have a boyfriend, or friends or are important? If so, I’m in trouble…Okay, maybe not in trouble so much, as pathetic.

  6. Hahahahaha! (First off, Finn’s addition made me LAUGH!) Secondly, I agree with all of this. Good one Neil.

  7. Blogger, for the person who doesn’t have a life, but wants to believe he does.

  8. Hell, Technorati doesn’t make me feel popular. It makes me feel like crap. I never break into the top 200,000.

    …and does this mean it’s wrong when I wear my padded bra?

    Then I don’t wanna be right!

  9. Does the “boyfriend trouser” come with sizing that relates to actual measurements? …that I could get behind, although I find that ad rather irritating.

  10. I have got to get the boyfriend trouser. I prefer make believe boyfriends.

  11. Claire, they probably do. That’s why my friend and I used to steal her brother’s jeans in high school. I found that I was actually able to get a better fit in men’s pants (No snide comments there.) than women’s. Well, at least jeans. Because they’re sold by waist size. Oh, and come in different lengths.

    But of course they’re selling the Boyfriend Trouser in women’s sizes. (I checked.) Doesn’t that defeat the purpose? Guess I gotta start stealing clothes from a boy once more.

  12. Neil:
    I hate Technocrappy. Personally, I don’t think it works properly. At least that’s what I tell myself to make myself feel better for being linked to only a few people. I think Technocrappy is actually run by little mice running on a big wheel.

  13. The first couple of things listed here fall into a category my friend Celeste used to call “store-bought cool.” You can always tell store-bought cool from the real thing. Always. And that, of course, automatically makes it uncool.

    The last two are what I call “manufactured cool.” Same deal applies.

    Sometimes a leather jacket, though, is just a leather jacket.

  14. You won’t get any flak from me, Dagny. The pants I wear most often are men’s (that I bought for myself), so I could get something long enough without being too wide.

  15. Dang I have the cap, the jacket and the Technorati link.

    Maybe this explains why I can never find my favorite pants, the wife snags them!

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