I fall in love very easily.
"What draws you to another person, Neilochka?" you might ask. "Is it beauty? Intelligence? A sense of humor?"
No, as a writer of words, I am first attracted by the person's name.
I have no idea if blogging-gal Fitena is a nice person or a grouch, but I was immediately smitten by the name. Fi-te-na.
When I read one of her comments, I always speak to myself, saying something like, "Oh look, it's a comment from Fi-te-na!"
Things get worse. I sing when I blog, especially when I encounter a blogger whose first name is the same as a famous old song. These bloggers hold a special place in my heart.
I know… I know… chances are the bloggers' names are not even the real names (wimps), but I still like to imagine that Melissa from Texas is the exact same Melissa that the Allman Brothers were thinking about when they sang:
Crossroads, seem to come and go, yeah.
The gypsy flies from coast to coast
Knowing many, loving none,
Bearing sorrow havin’ fun,
But back home he’ll always run
To sweet melissa… mmm…
("Melissa," Allman Brothers)
I have two blogging-pals named Michelle, each mysterious in her own way. I'm always singing this:
Michelle, ma belle.
These are words that go together well,
Michelle, ma belle.
Sont des mots qui vont très bien ensemble,
Très bien ensemble.
("Michelle," The Beatles)
I’m gonna take you by surprise and make you realize,
I’m gonna tell you right away, I can’t wait another day,
I’m gonna say it like a man and make you understand
Beth, I hear you callin’
But I can’t come home right now
Me and the boys are playin’
And we just can’t find the sound
Just a few more hours
And I’ll be right home to you
I think I hear them callin’
Oh, beth what can I do
Beth what can I do
Oh it's so funny to be seeing you after so long, girl.
And with the way you look I understand
that you were not impressed.
But I heard you let that little friend of mine
take off your party dress.
I'm not going to get too sentimental
like those other sticky valentines,
'cause I don't know if you are loving somebody.
I only know it isn't mine.
Alison, I know this world is killing you.
Oh, Alison, my aim is true.
("Alison," Elvis Costello)
There's also songs for Helena, Jenny, Nancy, Mysterygirl, Brandy, Jill, Elizabeth, Lisa, Sarah, Amy. Did I forget any?
Men bloggers, don't worry. I didn't forget you. I'm not embarrassed to fall in love with a man's name. Everyday, I take a break at noon from whatever freelance project I'm working on, make myself a sandwich, click onto Danny's site, and grab my bagpipes:
Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling
From glen to glen, and down the mountain side
The summer's gone, and all the flowers are dying
'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide.
("Danny Boy," Irish Classic)
Now, despite our separation, the main love of my life remains, of course, Sophia. And I was positive that there weren't any "Sophia" songs in existence. But Google proved me wrong:
Sophia by Bif Naked
Sophia by The Rasmus
Sophia by Enter My Silence
Sophia by X-Ray Spex
Nude Sophia by Lux Occulta
Hagia Sophia by Secret Chiefs 3
Aetheosophia by Thor's Hammer
Song of Sophia by Dead Can Dance
Sophia On The Stereo by The Benjamins
Messages from Sophia by Lisa Germano
Disciples Of Sophia (The Templars) by Necromantia
All For You Sophia by Franz Ferdinand
I spent all tonight downloading these songs. Most of these tunes were just awful. None of them captured any of Sophia's real qualities.
My assignment for later this week: write a song called "Sophia."
(to be continued)
I can’t think of any songs with “Neil” in them, but there’s a helluva lot of musicians and songwriters named Neil, like Neil Young and Neil Diamond. So now when I think of you, I’ll be singing
Good times never seemed so good…”
That’s about the best I could do.
Once again, screwed by my own name.
I don’t care what BUM says! He might never let me use his PC again but I couldn’t resist coming over to see what you said about me!!! Speaking to yourself yet? 🙂 I love you Neil!!! (I pronounce it Nail sometimes and other times Kneel? whats the right pronounciation?)
Am no grouch! Never been called that!!! Fi-te-na is how my mum and people in Sudan call me. Its a pet name for Fatma which is my name. Love me still!!!???
Gotta go, fumes getting out of bum’s ears!!!
Thanks again, mom and dad, for giving me a name no one has ever heard before. :-p
Hey Lisa B. is sexy!!!
I’ll always be grateful to Kansas for writing a song about me…
Dustin the wind
all we are is Dustin the wind
Dustin the wind
Dustin the wind
Kind of has a flatulent ring to it.
That’s funny because sometimes I’ll be in a meeting or something and the word “Neilochka” will just pop into my head. Okay, more scary than funny but whatever.
This is definitely my kind of post, Neil! But, ummm, I think you forgot to mention one more name that might remind you of a fabulous old song…
Songs with girls’ names are my favorites – can’t wait to hear your Sophia tune!
(Things that rhyme with Sophia: idea, pizzeria, psychomachia, galleria, mamma mia… good luck!)
How lovely to see my song on your list!
yet, musical genius that i am, i can’t seem to remember any song that incorporates stephanie…
i think a song needs to be written about me!
i think i’m with retro here, screwed by my name again.
definitely look forward to hear the song. one thing though, if you need help for the note, there’s a place here that will compose you a song for free. his latest is about A Sad Toaster Made of Glass.
i like this one a lot, btw.
Here’s an idea, we’ll start a community songwriting effort on behalf of Sophia. Neil, you start with the first line of the song, then we’ll all continue in the comments. You pick what you like and compose the song itself. That could be fun. Dangerous, yes; but fun.
Any songs about Kevin? I found a couple for Katie already.
Kevin, sorry to tell you this, but I checked on Google and there is a rap song called RIP Kevin!
It was a sad day (it was a sad day)
When my homie went away ( when my homie went away)
It was a sad day (it was a sad day)
When Kevin went away (when Kevin went away)
Stephanie — Eminem's Stephanie just won't do for you:
The other day this bitch came up to me
Said her name was Stephanie
She was there with her friends, Vanessa, Kayla, and Katie
They all had long blonde hair
Right down to their butts
With their tits hanging out
I could tell they were sluts
They asked me, "Eminem, can we suck your dick?"
When I said, "Fuck no"
They said, "Fuck you prick!"
You're the lil whore
You mother fucking bitch
Wait hold on a second
While my balls itch…….
I can’t believe you didn’t mention Sarah…there are several! And I’m deeply hurt.
I look forward to your song about Sophia (that’s the name of someone very close to my heart and genetics)!
I’m changing my name to Angie just for you
Sarah — my apologies.
Sarah by Ludacris —
Sexy sarah you know she’s fine
Sexy sarah she blows my mind
Oh sexy sarah she is devine
You know sarah she has her own line
Why are you so sexy sarah
How can you be so sexy sarah
I don’t understand
It is so hard to see
How sexy sarah gets into me
She makes me wanna bumb
She is always doing the hump
I mean what do you what me to do
Sexy sarah has my shoe
And Moviequill — I already gave you the nickname of “Brown Sugar.”
story of my life…no song 🙁
There aren’t many Leesa songs out there either. I think there’s ONE, and that’s Mona Lisa. I guess there weren’t any guys obsessed with Lisa…LOL.
Pearl is a classic name; the Mamas & Papas recorded “Pearl” on an album called People Like Us. Janis Joplin had an album called Pearl (That was Janis’s nickname).
And apparently, around 1970 the Jackson 5 had a hit with “Mama’s Pearl.”
Guess I’m out…neither the blog name or the real name have songs. Bugger.
Now I feel like shit.
Trixie — I thought you have a new hot boyfriend. Have him spend less time kissing your feet, so he can write you a song.
Dagny — Tell me about it. Are you asking me out on a date?
Anne/Annie — Do you prefer John Denver's "Annie's Song" or something from the sountrack from "Annie?"
Damn you Neil! I will be hearing that Amanda song for the next week.
I’m starting to think that you need to get out of the house more often, Neil.
Now I’m playing the name game:
Sophia Sophia bo bia
Banana fana fo fia
me my mo mia
Neil Neil bo beil
banana fana fo feil
me my mo meil
Hey, I was named after the Allman Brothers instrumental, “Jessica” – but I often go by ‘Jess’ (which, according to Brando, is “way hotter”) but NEVER ‘Jessie’.
I feel so… blessed?
not to steal the show from Sophia but if anyone can do me a song, i’ll be really proud…
and truly amazed.
Kevin –Ok, so far I have —
Sophia, brown eyes
And the next line is…?
La La La La La
Just warming up the pipes.
Oh, ho! I smell a new mp3 download…
Communicatrix/Colleen — Never heard of it, but:
Colleen (I saw him first)
by Amanda Marshall
Let me tell you about colleen
my best friend since I was three
she always had a taste for dangerous things
her scandalous tongue was extreme I was always the one left holding the bag
smiling and covering her tracks Best friends, they always do that
she was the first one to smoke a cigarette She once let me watch her make love
it was the kind of balance made by kings She took it all, but left me some
I guess I always thought that she’d have my back
But it didn’t work out like that
the moment I laid eyes on jack
Did you know (and how could you not?) that there is a German Christian rock band named “Scarlet Rose” which is, in fact, my name. I think they owe me royalties or something.
yay! thanks for serenade! how perfect would it have been if “berlin” sung that song or any song called “amanda”. thanks for letting me leave such a narcissistic comment. won’t happen again. you inflate my ego. 🙂
I see a new American Idol theme episode coming. Famous songs featuring random names.
Neil, how about this to start:
Sophia, brown eyes,
you see right through me
to my soul.
Sophia, you keep me grounded
even if I’m not around you
you keep me whole.
I can’t think of a damn thing that uses Heather. But then again, I have a whole movie about (psycho) Heathers, so not too shabby.
As a bit of unsolicited assistance: Sophia rhymes with both “gonorrhea” and, if you try real hard, “clamidia.” I’m obviously thinking of these in positive terms, such as “Sophia won’t give you gonorrhea / Oh no, not even a tad of clamidia.”
Imagine your formative years are the 80’s and all you get is a shitty one-hit-wonder with your name in it. Welcome to my (real) life.
I like to sing old songs containing the names of people I know too! I knew a girl named Cecilia once.
She didn’t like me much (for the above reason, I surmise).
Know anyone named Eileen who’s looking to be annoyed?
Neil, just co-opt the song “Maria” from the musical “West Side Story” and sub in “Sophia”. After all, it worked for Elton John with “Candle in the Wind” and his tribute to Princess Di.
I’ll write one about Sophia! I won’t even charge you much!
Neil, no, I was not asking you out. You could take Sophia out for a night on the town though. After you come up with her song.
I don’t think there are any songs about Dagny but I know there are plenty about my real name. It’s just that most of the ones I know are not very nice.
Pearl, your name is also a title for awhole new musical, not just one song; I heard it from composer herself.
Well, there’s “Planet Claire” by the B-52s, but it’s not real clear how it might apply to me.
(whining) But Neil, I want a sooooooong!!! “Look at me, I’m Sandra Dee”? I feel crushed that you’ve forgotten…
There’s a song called “I love Louisa,” my daughter’s name, but it is a clinker.
This might be a bad time, but my name is MichÃ¨le with One L and and accent grave (`) over the first e. Not Michelle.
So maybe you aren’t singing to me after all?
Still belle, though. I knew you loved me best.
i’m jane and there are a couple of jane songs, but i was janie on my other blog, cuz i love aerosmith, but i don’t really have a gun.
“My Cousin Kevin,” by the Undertones.
There is a Counting Crows song (on “Recovering the Satellites”) titled “Goodnight Elisabeth,” and Elisabeth is spelled with an “s” – just like my first name!
Elvis Costello’s Allison is a huge improvement over those horrible songs by Boston and Kiss.
51 comments. Really, that’s what it says. I’m in awe.
I get Born to Run….
Wendy let me in I wanna be your friend
I want to guard your dreams and visions
Just wrap your legs round these velvet rims
And strap your hands across my engines
Together wendy weâ€™ll live with the sadness
Iâ€™ll love you with all the madness in my soul
Someday girl I donâ€™t know when weâ€™re gonna get to that place
Where we really want to go and weâ€™ll walk in the sun
But till then tramps like us baby we were born to run
Being an east coast girl (not from Jersey but married to a Jersey boy), having a Springsteen song isn’t half bad.
If there’s one conclusion I can make from this post is that MEN are the real romantic ones. Look at all the songs that MEN write about the women in their lives. And what do women write songs about? Themselves!
“Girls Just Want to Have Fun.”
“I’m a Material Girl.”
“Dontcha Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me?”
Where are all the songs written by women for their men like “I Love You, Joe,” “Heaven was made for Harry,” or “Crazy for You, Charlie?”
No songs with my name in them–but then no one else has my name. Makes me extremely Googable. Is that a good thing?
ummm… not so much neil.
and how would you feel about a neil sedaka reference made about you?
Neil are you going to sing us a sample of the Sophia song once you’ve written it?
And I am glad you forgot the Guns and Roses “My Michelle” and went with Paul McCartney instead. 🙂
Big smile… Melissa is in fact my real name, and I adore that song. If you weren’t already married I’d fall madly in love with you just for that.
Neil, Jill Scott writes a number of songs about her husband. She just doesn’t use his name in her songs.
WOW! I’m a song writer, maybe I can write a song about Sophia! How did you ever come to visit my blog, dear Neilotchka! There are 57 people who commentec before me…My Lordy….do you visit all of these people? You must be glued to your computer chair…
“Sophia….I once knew a girl named Sophia….”….Oh no. that was already written….Hmmmm
Well, let me think this one over for a little bit longer…Okay?
No Lynn song?
Sophia, oh Sophia
Don’t make me pee on ya…
Little too Ricky Martin?
Is there really a Mysterygirl song? (Of course the part that caught my eye was about myself)
Mystery Girl by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs
It was the struggle of the century
and all the grown men came to see
the girl who tamed the tiger yeah yeah
the heart of southern Lovebirds
they found her under the sea
she said she came from cell block three
the girl hit hot like a barracuda baby
she floated on air like a crest of wave
she was a primal instituation she was a danger to herself yeah
Mad loving by the cold hearted
Take a big breath cos we just started
keep on faking your mystery world
Cos the mystery boys will be your toys yeah
Cos the Mystery boys will be your toys
For Heaven’s sake please get that picture of that curly-haired guy off the top of your blog. He looks like Arnold Horshack with a bad tan. Gives me the creeps.
Oh, I know that song! There’s even a barracuda in it! Nice.
Neil, you smell like lemon peel
left inside a buick oldsmobile
eyes of teal
that make me squeal
You make me feel so real Neil!
(There. Now you have your own song.)
for Stephanie who had no song:
Tennis Pro does a song called Stephanie. Downloadable from iTunes. And it has “lolli lolli lolli” bits in it, which I personally find to be a good thing.
My own song is “Just Like A Gillian Welch Song” by Split Lip Rayfield. Which is obviously not about ME per se, but it’s rare to find someone who pronounces it the same way Ms. Welch and I do.
I have a 1950’s instrumental with my name.
It makes me smile because I pretend I’m in La Dolce Vita.
Nerina Pallot – ‘Sophia’
I’ve always wondered if I’d have more boyfriends if I changed my number to 867-5309.