the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Crime and Punishment


For every crime, there is a punishment. 

All has been resolved.  The post that "mysteriously disappeared" is back up. 

But the punishment was severe and costly, and required me to spend my entire Saturday standing around shoe stores and nodding about how "nice they look."



  1. danielle

    I thought you liked being punished.

  2. communicatrix

    Dude, you married a Russian. What did you expect?

    (For the record, I totally just wrote that comment so I could call you “dude”.)

  3. bella

    ohhh… ‘fuck me pumps’! That’s not punishment

  4. LisaBinDaCity

    Payback is a bitch 😉

  5. kimananda

    I suppose bringing a book to look at in between nods of approval would have been out of the question?

  6. Edgy Mama

    You know you deserved it.

    BTW, when I’m next in LA, mind if I have lunch with Sophia?

  7. Wendy

    How could shoe shopping ever be considered punishment!?

  8. Dagny

    I am with Wendy. Shoe shopping is never punishment; it is a reward.

  9. Neil

    Bra shopping is a reward. Shoe shopping is torture.

  10. Rabbit

    We have an agreement. I won’t drag him shoe shopping (honestly, I loathe shopping and never go myself anyway) and he may not ask me to accompany him to Home Depot. I do enjoy lingerie shopping though, and he’s welcome to come along to help if he wants.

  11. Neil

    For me, getting dragged to Home Depot is even worse than shoe shopping — because that means someone is going to want me to actually DO something around the house other than blog.

    My favorites: bookstores, music stores, 99 cent-only stores, computer stores, consumer electronic stories, supermarkets, newstands, and men’s hat stores (although I’ve never actually bought a hat in one).

    Question: Why does shopping with a woman take ten times longer than it does with a male friend?

  12. femmedespoir

    my idea of shopping? lingerie and books! and perhaps some f’me pumps for good measure.

    youse so funny!

  13. femmedespoir

    by the way, just do like my fellow does and make sure you station yourself close to the f’me pumps, NOT the granny shoes. that way, at least you’re bound to see some nice gams while you bide your time.

  14. justrun

    I’m betting you probably knew the punishment before you even committed the crime.

  15. Sandra

    Is that better or worse than water torture?

  16. Bre

    You say “punishment” I say “heaven”

  17. Trixie

    Shoe shopping? Punishment? I don’t get it. 😉

  18. ashbloem

    I hate shopping so much. Thank goodness I’m not a man involved with a woman who likes to shop. I’d rip my own eyes out, but not before I set the mall on fire.

  19. Scarlet

    I hate shopping with other people. And shoe shopping IS the worst. Although so is bra shopping-NO I DO NOT WANT TO BE MEASURED!

  20. mernitman

    in answer to your question, think: is there any other activity that generally takes a woman 10 times longer to achieve than a man? i.e. the word “shoegasm” mean anything to you?

  21. Heather B.

    I recently got a talking to from a family member about an innocent (or so I thought) post I wrote a month ago. I wish that my punishment had been shoe shopping.

  22. Melissa

    Shoe shopping is all in how you approach it. You get to see your girl wearing something beautiful, she’ll show you lots of leg – the legs you love having wrapped around you – and if you buy her the fabulous, sexy shoes she loves, she might just leave them on for the next hot, sweaty session in the bedroom. How is that not a win, win situation?

  23. Kevin

    I thank God every day that I have a wife who despises shopping. She only does it when she needs to. And she hates malls with a passion. So not your standard girly girl.

  24. party girl

    Man, as much as I love shoes and as much as I love shopping for shoes, I would never, ever subject my man to that.

    You musta been very bad. Very, very bad.

  25. Leah

    You’re a good man Neil. Gooood man!

  26. ams


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