the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Mom! I’m Sick!


Sophia is in her bedroom with a 102 temperature.    I came here yesterday to help out.  Now I’m in the living room, feeling hot, coughing, and dizzy. 

So, of course, the first thing I do is blog about it. 

I don’t know if Sophia got me sick or it was because I walked around in that kilt underwear all day.

I’m beginning to feel pretty miserable.  How miserable, you might ask?  If some female blogger would IM me right now, offering to take off their top for me on the videocam, I would refuse, because I just don’t have the energy to watch.

Luckily, my mother is coming to town tomorrow.  What an exciting vacation she’s going to have — taking care of two sick people!

This is the first time my mother is visiting me here since my father passed away a couple of months ago.  So, the visit is a little sad.  But it’s also an opportunity to bond with my mother in a way I haven’t done since I was a kid.  Let’s see if I can still beat her in Scrabble.

Do you think it would be weird to go see a movie about two gay cowboys with your mother?

Since I’m pretty much rambling right now, can I act Jewish again and say I feel a little guilty for not keeping up with some of your blogs.   I’ve been doing that gig at Blogebrity and it’s actually harder than I thought to write two posts a day. 

I think the medication I took is settling in, so this is where I really go all crazy. 

A few days ago, Communicatrix had this very moving thought (her blog may look a little funny today because of the Typepad problems):

So…why am I here? And what the hell should I do with my life, or what’s left of it?

The truth is, while over the years I’ve become a passable copywriter, a decent actress, a fairly good designer and made money at all of them, nothing** has proved as rewarding as writing this stupid blog.

I’m sure that holds true for many of us.   I actually thought of going through all my comments and sending each and every one of you a Christmas, uh, Holiday email, but then I’d look like a total wimp, and not the snarky trend-setter that I aim to be.

OK, excuse me while I pass out.


  1. modigli

    I just had to be first! That rarely happens in these parts (for me) anymore! Hope you feel better soon, Neil! And happy holidays to you! πŸ™‚

  2. modigli

    Or should I say “Merry Christmas” since I’m typing this from the local WalMart?! πŸ˜‰

  3. Student Nurse

    *awwww* poor baby, come put your head right here –>@@ …and I’ll make you some matzah ball soup and nurse you until Mom gets into town

  4. bella

    Happy/Merry/Celebratory (insert brand name holiday here).
    Sending you some virtual chicken soup, hope you get to feeling better.
    Yeah, blogging is so far, more rewarding than work most days, yet not as cathartic as painting is.

  5. Elvira Black

    So sorry to hear about your father.

    Best get that Jewish guilt thing under control before your mom gets there, or she WILL make you sit down and do that holiday e-mail thing. Time to get steely and tough, like the goyim.

    Hope you and Sophia feel better soon.

  6. Heather

    get well soon neilochka

  7. helen

    Not well and the first thing u do is blog?? LOL Yep…. you need a cure.

    All the best to Sophia and mama Neil!!

  8. anne

    Get better soon – this wimpy threat has got to be stopped.

  9. mary

    I hope you and Sophia get better really soon, sweetie. And I hope your mom is doing well.

  10. better safe than sorry

    my mom is coming in this week as well and what she loves most is helping me out around here with the kids, makes her feel useful and i in turn, will take her out for lunch and a movie, but not sure about those gay cowyboys, both guys are hot, but now the only thing i’ll be thinking about is you in your little, ummm, outfit.
    let your mom enjoy taking care of you and your sophia, deep down, that’s what mom’s really want to do.

  11. LisaBinDaCity

    Feel better Toots. And if your Mom decides to flee back to NYC the gay cowboy thingy, I will pick her up at the airport πŸ™‚

  12. schuey

    I just had a good laugh at the tags :
    flu, sick, mothers.

    But maybe I just have an issue with my mum… πŸ˜€

  13. anne arkham

    I swear, the entire internet is sick. Feel better soon, you guys.

  14. Edgy Mama

    Take care, Neil.

    I’ve heard that BB Mountain will leave you wounded. May not be the best for you all so soon after your Dad’s passing…just saying.

  15. Neil

    Can I take off my kilt now and put on some real pants?

  16. LisaBinDaCity

    I meant to say “If your Mom decides to flee back to NYC AFTER the gay cowboy thingy, I will pick her up at the airport.”


  17. Melissa

    Drink heavily and sleep much… that’s about all you can do with the flu.

  18. Leesa

    I think you should leave the kilt on πŸ™‚ Of course, maybe that’s why you have the flu in the first place?

  19. The Moviequill

    ‘Do you think it would be weird to go see a movie about two gay cowboys with your mother?’..I used to watch Six Feet Under with my parents

  20. Danny

    Yikes, I hope you both feel better soon. Is your mom good with the chicken soup? Nothing beats it. We saw “Brokeback Mountain” the other day and found it to be terribly sad and depressing (but good). If you’re up for that mood (and some hot n’heavy man-on-man action), then grab your mom and head out to Arclight.

    P.S. I don’t believe for a minute that you don’t have enough energy to watch your female bloggers nude on their webcams. That was just a tease, right?

  21. danielle

    Feel better Neil! You can put your pants back on, for now. You get three days. I wonder if the flu can travel through blogs. It seems that everyone has been suffering. Anyway, have a nice visit with Momma Kramer. Eat your Chicken Soup, and win some Scrabble.

  22. communicatrix

    Damn. I didn’t know the whole Internet is sick. I guess I’d better stay with my own blog until you all get better.

  23. Sara Lee


    Put your pants on …Momma doesn’t need to see you in your special kilt. I hope you and Sophia feel better soon.


    p.s. I was considering offering to send you topless video, but I will wait till when you are feeling better πŸ˜‰

  24. 3rdtimesacharm( 3T )

    I hope you and Sophia get well soon Neil! Rest lots, drink plenty of fluids, extra vitamin C, and of course the TLC of your mom will help for sure!


  25. kris

    Didn’t your mom tell you NEVER to wear the kilt thong with your hair wet? My Dad did that in the Blizzard of ’96 and was under the weather for weeks. Those damn thongs are a hazard.

    Feel better.

  26. Thomas

    I hope I don’t get sick just reading this.

  27. Ms Iah

    Chicken soup, chicken soup, chicken soup…

  28. Rabbit

    Feel better, Neil.

    (But before you do, cough on someone you don’t like.)

  29. akaky

    Hope the two of you feel better soon…real pants? Were you planning on putting on some fake ones first, just to see if liked that sort of thing first? And does your mom, who thinks she is going to the West Coast for some sunshine and a break from her usual worries, know that the two of you saved up all year to get sick just when she’s coming so she would have to take care of you guys?

  30. Neil

    It’s pretty pathetic when two grown-ups need a mother to take care of them. But it is pretty cool. Within one hour of her being here, she made soup, cleaned up the bedroom, bought us medicine, and dusted our bookcase.

  31. Fun Joel

    I’m surprised that of the 30 commenters to proceed me on this post, no one else picked up on the odd juxtaposition of these two adjacent sentences:

    If some female blogger would IM me right now, offering to take off their top for me on the videocam, I would refuse, because I just donÒ€ℒt have the energy to watch.


    Luckily, my mother is coming to town tomorrow.

    Maybe I’m just ultra-Freudian!

  32. Neil

    You’re reading too many screenplays, Joel. Too many screenplays.

  33. Pearl

    Just make sure your Elaine doesn’t get fluish herself being around you two. If she gets sick, your guilt will be hundredfold!

    Zei gesundt…feel better.

  34. jenny

    Sorry you’re feeling rotten Neil. And I’d be happy to send you a video of me walking around in a kilt while carrying a can of Campbells soup. Does that do anything for you?

  35. Bill

    If I got sick, would your mother clean my bedroom? It’s a disaster. And there’s dust galore here. I could use some help.

    I’m sure I feel something coming on. I’m feeling weak and I think I have a headache.

  36. pattygal

    thanks for the pickmeup thoughts on my blog. stress or viral infections, the internet has got the “blahs”… yeah, defintely see the gay cowboymovie with your mom. i took my mom to see pulp fiction when i was 22. we’ve never been the same.

  37. Sedulia

    I’m sorry you’re sick, Neil. I am too! Isn’t it awful? Unfortunately, in my house I’m the mother who’s supposed to make everyone else feel well and cook soup for them.

    I sent the Scottish picture to all the Scots I know. Haven’t heard back from ANYONE yet. Should I be worried? Do you think they got the wrong idea?

    Anyway, hope you feel better. Be nice to your mother.

  38. akaky

    I think the dust bunnies are breeding on my bookcase.

  39. Laura

    Feel better soon!!!

  40. pia

    Sorry about your dad

    Have fun with your mom and Sophia.

    Woke up sick this morning–all bronchial–thought it was psycholgical as my mom should have been a Christian Scientist, and I caught the mind over…from her.

    Instead of going to my building’s party or doing anything I had planned, I have been blogging non-stop all day

    And still feel sick and the party’s over. so I guess I am

  41. Megan

    Feel better soon. Would it help you feel any better if I promised NOT to take off my top for you? Because I can definitely promise that.

  42. Neil

    Sedlia, Pia, others — sorry you’re sick, too. Hope you’re getting better. This was the first time in years I took a flu shot. Some help it was!

    Megan – you seductress!

  43. amanda

    that’s so weird that you posted that comment from that other blog. Jill Writes is my friend here in NY and she sent me a holiday card that, among other things, said, “this year we take over the world” and it felt oddly appropriate. i had never thought of world domination, haha, but in a sense i have felt really empowered by writing the blog this year. and among other personal triumphs.

  44. claire

    I hope you’re feeling better, Neil. And I understand too well what Colleen said, well, minus the modicum of success. blargh.

  45. Atomic Bombshell

    What the hell is with this plague?! EVERYBODY is sick! Hope you recover quickly, kiddo… Drink lots of fluids.

  46. mcaryeh

    Who, if not their mothers, would anyone go to a gay cowboy flick with? Feel better. I am fluing right along with you…

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