the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

One Week

I’m going to take another week off from blogging next week, in order to nurture some friendships both offline and online, and to do some work on another project.  There’s also something about the endless crowds of people online that has made me feel lately… lonely, maybe less of a physical loneliness than a spiritual one.  That’s a little embarrassing to admit, because I know it sounds a bit loserville, but I don’t really see it that way.  It’s just life and circumstances.  I’m working on it.  I need to connect to the world again — and this is not the first time I have done this in the last year — and have more one to one conversations.  I’ll be a better writer for it.

Do you feel that you’ve made real friends online, or merely acquaintances?  I bet those who go to a lot of conferences will be much more connected, not because of the sessions, but because of the eating lunch at the same table.  I’m especially grateful for V-Grrrl, who I know I can call anytime of the day.  She alone has made almost six years of blogging worthwhile.   I wish I could be one of those bloggers that say that the reason I blog is “just to showcase my writing.”  It would make me feel more self-sufficient, like you are a mere audience for my wisdom, so go put up my blog badge on your sidebar.  Because then I would be lying.  My connections have always been my monetization.

See you in another week.

21 Comments

  1. Erika

    I will miss your posts. Hope it’s a week filled with everything you need <3

  2. vodkamom

    You are one of the first bloggers that I read and ADMIRED and LOVED. Your brilliant writing- the artistry of your words- hypnotized me.

    I adore your writing, I adore you.

    Take all the time you need. We will be waiting for you.

  3. Neil

    Vodkamom — please. Not here fishing for compliments. Although I love them. It’s not about writing. It’s about something else.

  4. sweetsalty kate

    Whenever I feel spiritually lonely, I play crib with my Citizen of the Month cardboard cutout.

  5. Dana

    Beautiful line about connections being your monetization.

  6. Mo

    I don’t know how you’ve done this for six years! I’ve been blogging about 2 1/2 years and some days I’m so overwhelmed with all of the crowds online lately. I totally understand feeling a little alone and disconnected among it all.

    I do, however, think I’ve made real friends out of a couple people I’ve met online. So for that I’m grateful.

    Get connected again so you can come back here.

  7. Jack

    Sometimes it is worth shutting it down for a little bit. Good opportunity to recharge the batteries.

  8. beta dad

    I feel the same way sometimes, although I’ve only been at it for a little under a year. Your week off will give me a chance to browse your archives, since I’m a new reader.

  9. Jack

    Of course if you are as lucky as I am your new site gets taken down so you are forced to relax or return to your old blog until the new one comes back up.

  10. MikeR

    A wise man once said “action is his reward”, but I agree that the connections and the people are the reward. indiposit.com is my reaction to that feeling and my attempt to create a smaller crowd that I recognize and feel comfortable with. Enjoy your break, we’ll be here when you get back.

  11. V-Grrrl @ Compost Studios

    {smiling}

    Thanks.

    And I understand the need for space. I’m finding I need to take breaks sometimes too.

    And regarding monetization, everyone send their checks to me and I’ll keep Neil blogging a little longer. ; P

  12. pia

    I’ve made a few of the best friends I have ever had through blogging. But I take frequent breaks from “blog socializing,” and blogging.
    Sometimes the connection with bloggers except the ones who are true friends was just too much and not worth the hassle. Now I’m beginning to love it again–but mostly on Facebook.
    People try to pull me into different directions: “be a literary blogger.” “Why did you basically give up your blog, it’s a shame, you were good. Could have monetized it.” “Write politics only.” “Only do disability.” “Personal stories please.”
    For awhile, a long while, I felt pulled. Then I decided to do what pleases me. My friends don’t try to pull me.
    I don’t care about being the most popular blogger or soiling my blog with non-lit stuff.
    I do care about the quality of my writing and after six and half years, of blogging, finally feel that I’m becoming a good writer. And yes I was a professional writer most of my life–tech then reporting
    It’s hard Neil to strike that balance and you agonize on posts as much as I agonize in emails.
    Vgrrrl seems like a great person to have as a best friend. Treasure her! As I’m sure she does you

  13. Megan

    Connection has been everything to me, which is why I completely changed my blogging MO. I have a circle of online friends that I feel close to, and I need for that to be enough. It wasn’t, so I made a change.

    Have a good week.

  14. C...

    Happy Hiatus!

  15. Jane Gassner

    Neil–This jumped out at me– “There’s also something about the endless crowds of people online that has made me feel lately… lonely, maybe less of a physical loneliness than a spiritual one.” The feeling is one I have as well. Here’s what comes along with those feelings for me: I’ve been blogging for six plus years. I started and kept it up when almost no one else was doing it and few valued it. It gave me a Rodney Dangerfield point of view. Now all of a sudden, everyone and their uncle is a blogger. As Pia says, the voices are loud, insistent and they pull in different directions. My response has been to shut down. I’ve gone through a period where I stopped reading blogs and now I find I’m reading very selectively. Some of the new voices are really worthwhile listening to–and some of the old ones are not!

  16. Slow Panic

    I think a break is always good. I am sad that I’ve missed out on friendships on-line because I would disappear for months at a time. Dealing with stuff I didn’t even realize and not being able to keep the on-line stuff up. Then I see all these great friendships developing and I feel jealous and stupid for not sticking to it. Have a wonderful break next week.

  17. Deer Baby

    I get what you mean, Neil. I agree with Mo – I’d like to think I’ve made some real friends online, whose numbers I have in real life and who I would call if I needed to. And other connections with people who it is very highly unlikely I will ever meet but I’m so glad I’ve got to know.

    I’m jealous of thing like Blissdom and the smaller conferences – I

    A lot of the stuff online is sound and fury, signifying nothing. But there’s a lot which is
    great and funny and wise and witty. I’d put you in that category.

  18. Danny

    I definitely feel that I’ve made real friends online and would hate to give up the “communities” of blogging and even Facebook. Which isn’t to say I don’t also encounter a lot of scary, crazy-ass people, too. But without the Internet, how else would I have ever been able to have direct contact with bona fide Nazis? Oy.

  19. sizzle

    I have felt lonely when surrounded by on line chatter. That makes sense to me. I agree with you, the connections are my monetization too. Over the six years I’ve been blogging I have been surprised at the friendships I thought I was creating that were dumped once the person stopped blogging or being on line. It made me sad actually because I felt like we had a bond and was surprised it wasn’t 2 ways. 🙁 I have luckily found and cultivated a good solid group of on line friends who I actually get to talk to off line and that is really fulfilling. I’m so grateful to the internet for that, actually.

    I hope your week off blogging gives you some nurturing, connection and satisfaction.

    xo

  20. GrandeMocha

    LOVE LOVE LOVE BNL!!!

    My Blackberry didn’t work on the cruise we took over Christmas. Well it was $2.99 a minute, so I turned it off. I was jittery at first. 😉 My family was so happy I wasn’t playing with it all the time. They are ready to take me someplace else where it won’t work. Off line time can be good, have fun & recharge!

  21. subWOW

    I have been obsessed with the “meaning” of Internet relationship ever since I went on Twitter and then started blogging etc. I have met some of the bloggers and yes we have become really really good friends. I believe that the Internet widens the pool of potential friends infinitely since we are no longer limited by geography, and chances of meeting someone who “gets you” are increased tremendously. That, or I am just pathetic in real life.

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