the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Anxiety Friday – It’s Your Turn!

Off to Las Vegas for the weekend, so my Friday post is early. I’m meeting some bloggers, which always causes me some anxiety. But why should I be the one always talking about my insecurity and self-esteem problems? I’m curious to learn about your main anxieties about being a blogger. Pick the one neurotic obsession that best fits you — the statement that best explains why blogging is an unhappy place for you at times, rather than a joy. Have fun, suckers!

1) My writing is not as good as other bloggers.

2) I don’t get as many comments as other people.

3) I am not included in the name-dropping and lists of all the “cool” bloggers who everyone seems to know.

4) I really like and respect the work of some blogger, and comment all the time on her blog, and this person doesn’t give a shit about me.

5) It is important that I network only with the cool people, even though I feel guilty about ignoring the bloggers who “don’t matter” as much.

6) All my new friends online ARE cool, but my old unpopular friends still bug me, thinking I still want to hang out with them, which I don’t.

7) I never get invited to go on any free cruises, and feel bad that everyone blogs about their great time.

8.) I never get invited to write on any paying sites or Kirtsy books, even those who do are frequently crappy writers.

9) No one ever recommends me on Twitter’s “FollowFriday.”

10) Neilochka has never asked to see me wearing only a bra and glasses.

11) Everyone forms cliques and ignores me.

12) Everyone thinks of me as a mommyblogger, and nothing more substantial.

13) No one thinks of me a true mommyblogger.

14) I can’t be totally honest online about my personal life, because I don’t want my family to read it, so I feel like a fraud.

15) I’m afraid of expressing my feelings about certain subjects on line because I will upset some big blogger, and fear being ostracized by her friends.

16) Trolls.

17) Fear of coming to the conclusion that I am an untalented loser.


  1. SciFi Dad

    #10 is something that keeps me crying in the fetal position most nights

  2. amy

    I have no anxiety about blogher- are you kidding me? Three days without my children! focusing on myself- drinking freely! No- seriously- I have doubts and such and think too much on certain subjects from time to time…but the the meeting up of all of these cool folks makes me super happy. no stress.

  3. Thea

    #10 – hands down. *sniffle*

  4. Caitlinator

    Mine is 18: No one reads my blog so why the hell am I continuing to write it?

  5. Kathy

    #1-3? Yes please.

  6. Kathy

    13) No one thinks of me a true mommyblogger.

    My cat doesn’t count, apparently. Even when I dress her up cute knitted hats. The knitting should count for something, right? The cool bloggers all knit.

  7. Black Hockey Jesus

    No matter what I do, Citizen Of The Month traffic makes my blog look like a dirt road to nowhere. Look. A tumbleweed.

  8. Headless Mom

    Only one? I think that I’ve thought of every single one, at least once before.

  9. Twenty Four At Heart

    Bloggers are good writers?

  10. Gwen

    None of the above.

    Man, I *am* evolved!

  11. churchpunkmom

    Hm.. let’s see..
    1, 2, 3, 4, 11, and 17… oh, and 10 of course. 😉

    what? i was supposed to pick only one? oh well.. i never was good a following rules.

  12. Aimee Greeblemonkey

    I already did this yesterday on my blog.

  13. Marinka

    18. What if the bloggers I feel the closest to aren’t really fellow mommybloggers but are perverts?! With penises?!

  14. Venus

    I had absolutely no blogging insecurities until I read your list. 🙁

    I blame you!

    No, wait. Trolls. Having been and continuing to be the center of attention of this one lovely, unhinged individual trolls I am not happy about.

    But everything else about blogging is great.

  15. Finn

    2, 10 and 17

  16. gorillabuns

    come on, i had to have a kid die for people to follow me. now, i think people are only interested in my train wreck happening before their eyes.

  17. Neil

    Gorillabuns — like they say, there’s no bad publicity. See you this weekend.

  18. Neil

    Finn – Are you sure about that? I could have sworn I asked to see you in a bra and glasses back in March 2008. That’s one anxiety you can cross off your list!

  19. Neil

    Venus – I don’t have trolls because I try to always act more unhinged than they can ever be, beating them to their own game. It is the best security plan ever.

  20. Annie

    #4 and #10. And how come you never visit
    my blog anymore? Are you too stuck up and popular? Just kidding, but really, you never visit anymore and it causes me worry.

  21. maggie, dammit

    I’ve had anxiety every since you told me who you were hanging out with this weekend and I knew I wouldn’t be there and that I would NEVER BE COOL AND THAT EVERY GOOD THING WAS HAPPENING WITHOUT ME AND THAT I’D RESORT TO A BUNCH OF CATS AND ALLCAPS.

    But you knew that.

  22. Mary @ Holy Mackerel

    Ummm, I feel ALL the above…often.

  23. Kimberly

    First off, I love this post.

    Second –

    1,2,3,4 & 10

  24. jane

    I find it hard to use enough exclamation points and penis/vagina references to hold an audience. I also don’t have any cute kids, ongoing tragedies, or sustained emotional upheavals to pique the interest of those who really read, and not just those who exchange comments.

    I’m a fuckin’ loser in the blog world.

  25. jane


    I also find it really hard to imitate TheBloggess. Well, not hard really, because there was that time I was imitating Victor pulling his pud when my boss walked in and was all like, whhaaaaaa…? And I was like oh yeah, animal balloons.

  26. MammaLoves

    Oh #14 has my name written all over it. I would have so much to write about if only I could.

  27. Backpacking Dad

    My insecurity is that I’m so awesome and write such a great blog and am so cool and good looking and I make so much money doing this that I give evreryone else anxiety because they aren’t me.

  28. Miss Grace

    You were on my follow friday list last week. And I know for a FACT that I’m awesome. So.

  29. flutter

    17! 17!!!

    but have no fear, you will have great fun

  30. alejna

    Pick only one neurotic obsession that best fits me? What about not being able to pick just one of anything? What if I pick the wrong one?

    Funny to see how many of my own neurotic blogging obsessions made your list. Items 1 through 4 are big on my list. Number 14 is up there. Of course, nothing can top #10.

    Have lots of fun on your trip!

  31. sizzle

    Mostly 1, 2, 3 but never 9. I really don’t like Follow Friday. 10 totally already happened.

  32. sizzle

    P.S. Give Gorillabuns a huge hug for me!

  33. Fear and Parenting in Las Vegas

    Uh Neil, you’re coming here and you didn’t tell me? I’m a little hurt, I must say. I’ll try to reassemble my fractured ego enough to provide recommendations, a free drink or even bail if you need it.

    Yep, I’m a doormat like that.

    I was actually going to see if you could guest post for me while I’m in NYC next week. Do you think you’d have a story from your Vegas trip to share?

  34. Whit

    Mine is exactly like Backpacking Dads but cubed. Do you know how tough that is?

  35. schmutzie

    Great. Now I’m filled with neuroses I didn’t have before. Is it okay to drink at 9:14 in the morning?

  36. ByJane

    Who the fuck is By Jane On????

  37. melissa

    i’m such a loser

  38. Stacey

    If I had to pick just one, I’d say #4.

    Enjoy Vegas!

  39. p.huong

    Reading all those options make me think of high school: cliques, worries of being popular, am I going to win prom king/queen, am I going to make varsity so I can play with the big kids? Oh the happy memories.

    Mine? #17…. Oh my gosh I’m such a loser. I suck at life…

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