the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Pandora’s Box

The reason I write so many stupid posts about sex with mommybloggers has nothing to do with sex.  After four and half years of blogging, I feel emotionally connected to so many people online.  That makes me feel uncomfortable, because I has no idea what to do with that information.  So, it is easier for me to just have imaginary sex with everyone.  Would you rather I say that I care about you, which opens up a Pandora’s Box of emotional stuff?

I envy those who blog solely for attention or to make money.   I hate to say it, but they have it right.


  1. surcey

    Alright, Neil. First-time commenter on your blog, but I have followed you on Twitter for a while. You are so very sensitive; I want to hold you in my pocket or french-kiss you, depending on which tweet/blog I am reading. Do not succumb to the idea that those who make themselves not-vulnerable are right. You are right, yourself.

  2. teahouseblossom

    I would be honored if you would consider having imaginary sex with me.

  3. 180/360

    just before surcey puts you in her pocket or kisses you, i’d like to slap some sense into you.

    xxx 🙂

  4. sizzle

    You already told me you love me that one time when you were tipsy off a glass of Chardonnay.

    Wait, that was Mama Likey.

    My bad.


  5. Miss Grace

    What are mommybloggers here for if not to mask our true emotions with imaginary sex?

  6. Jack

    So, it is easier for me to just have imaginary sex with everyone.

    Here is an imaginary bris. That should wake you up. 😉

  7. AnnieH(the other annie)

    Quickie before you leave for work…look at my post for a hot minute and for God’s sake, man, keep the box and your pants and your mind closed. You can do whatever you want once I’m safely away from the hospital.

  8. Jay

    Oh get over it, you’re golden. 🙂

  9. better safe than sorry

    it sounds like you’re in a dark place right now and you need to get your emotions out. don’t envy those blog whores. you’ve got lots of support here on your blog, whether you know it or not, and that’s something those whores can’t say. it’s a value that can’t be measured and earned because of who you are as a writer.

  10. Always Home and Uncool

    If you are having imaginary sex with me, how exactly does that work?

  11. Finn

    When you’re having imaginary sex with me, am I fun?

  12. Anika

    So unfair. Not only do mommybloggers get all the attention in cyberspace, they get imaginary sex via time machines, too. For what it’s worth, your blog keeps me coming back [to read], vulnerability and all.

  13. churlita

    I’m right there with you. Anytime anyone asks me how my love life is, I always say, “imaginary”.

  14. Black Hockey Jesus

    We should do it, Neil.

    This weekend or next? Email me. How long are you in town?

    Do you think about me in the way you think about all those mommy bloggers?

  15. Lauren

    So let me get this straight, I gotta pop this kid out before you start fantasizing about me? You are high maintenance.

  16. slouching mom

    Aww, Neil. I like you. You remind me of… me. Empathy is good. Too much of it can be overwhelming at times. Can you care too much? Probably. Would I change that about myself — or about you? No. The world needs more neurotic freaks like us. 🙂

  17. flutter

    Awww, Neil. I want to have imaginary sex with you, too. *sniffle*

  18. Deidre

    I’m not a mommyblogger – does that put a damper on the imaginary sex?

  19. mamatulip

    I’ll bring the wine.

  20. Annie

    What Deidre said :-). I am too lazy today to make my own comment.

  21. Venus

    I would be really nervous if someone said they cared about me online. Although, someone did say something near the opposite recently and continue to stalk me with harrassing comments so that’s not pretty either. Ultimately, there is a false sense of intimacy online because you get to know so much about someone without really knowing them. After 4 & 1/2 years I would bet it gets important at times to keep reality and illusion separate. If the time machine works and the sex is good, have fun!

  22. maggie, dammit

    No, we get it. We do. And we love you for it.

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