the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Real People

As I revealed yesterday, I had started to gather up photos of many of you.  I am still searching for those missing from the list.  A few of you don’t have Flickr accounts, so I’ll just have to imagine what you look like, unless I figure out another way to steal your photo.   I didn’t hear any complaints about this little project of mine, so I am proceeding with it.  Tonight, I added a few more faces to this prestigious collection of blogger mugs shots.

I just made a Flickr slideshow of all the faces.  How cool.  All these bloggers, passing before me, one after another, right on my monitor.  These are the smiles and eyes of individuals who I know mostly through words.

But do I know the real you?  If I didn’t have these photographs, I would walk right past you on the street.  You might seem familiar for a second, but I wouldn’t assume that I knew you from blogging.  I would more likely think that I remember you from an episode of “All My Children” last year, where I would wrongly peg you as the actor playing Erica Kane’s new cook.

Perhaps it is better that I don’t know the “real” you.  This gives me the freedom to write whatever I want on this blog.  I never have to see your reaction to anything I say.  I don’t have to see you rolling your eyes in dismay or shaking your head in disappointment.

All these faces.  Men and women with families, with significant others.  People at work.  At home.  At school.  At conferences.  Dressed up.  Dressed down.  In New York.  In Canada.  In Arizona.  You are actually REAL PEOPLE.

REAL PEOPLE!

Oh my God, and I sit here sometimes writing about things like… my penis.  You are REAL PEOPLE reading this.  You are sitting in your living room, reading this!

This photo idea was a bad one.  It is better not to know that you are real.   Writing is easier when you are figments of my imagination, a loyal gathering of glamorous sex goddesses who sit by their laptops, wearing the latest in French lingerie, caressing their bodies as they read my latest post.  That’s who I see as my demographic.  Not real people.

38 Comments

  1. kateanon

    But, Neil, I am a glamorous sex goddess sitting with my laptop, wearing the latest lingerie, and caressing my body…

  2. headbang8

    Some of us need to stay anonymous. Remember that.

  3. natalie

    i have no flickr account. i haven’t even thought about getting a flickr account. i guess i can add that to the list of things to do when i am back in america. that list is getting long!

  4. ingrid

    I’m real? Naaahh… You’re joking. I can tell when you’re joking you know. I mean I *know* that your penis doesn’t *really* talk. Um. At least I sure as hell hope not. That could be creeeeepy.

    It’s not like, you know *everything* though. For example, you have no idea what I’m really wearing or if I dance like a goddess or a chicken, or, for that matter, if goddesses dance at all. Maybe *they* are the awkward ones. I mean no one has ever really seen them dancing. Ever think of that?

    I’m real? (Ingrid pinches herself) Ow! Bastard. You’ve spoiled the illusion. I don’t think Pinocchio was a real boy either.

    😉

  5. better safe than sorry

    i don’t have a laptop, i think what you’re doing is creepy and i don’t think you get to know anyone at all just by reading what they write, with or without a photo to go with it.

  6. patty

    You’ve validated a lot of gut decisions I’ve made regarding pictures. Maybe it shouldn’t, but this really creeps me out.

  7. Cissa Fireheart

    I’m just sad I am not one of them….maybe I need to upload more fabulous pictures of myself….

  8. catnip

    Squeee! I made it in! Ahem. I mean yeah, cool, and you have my permission. heh.

  9. teahouseblossom

    Ooooh, real people!

    I have no Flickr account, but I am on Facebook. If you’d like to be my friend, let me know and a whole world of photos of me will be open to you for your viewing pleasure.

  10. Finn

    I’m not real. I’m a Fem-Bot.

  11. Twenty Four At Heart

    Is there something wrong about sitting around in lingerie caressing one’s own body? It’s what all females do all day long, isn’t it?

    The real people thing is a problem. How dare they be real. I just found out my doc (who I see regularly) found my blog and spent two days perusing my posts on sex and sex toys. I don’t think I can ever face him again. I’ve felt very anonymous until recently. Now I need to find a new doc. Because sex toys and my doctor? Do not go together. At all.

  12. Memarie Lane

    I hope I’m not real. I’d much rather be a product of your imagination, I’m probably way hotter there.

  13. anna

    Not only am I real, but I’m standing outside of your window right now. And you really should pull down the shades when you do that.

  14. AnnieH(the other Annie)

    Good God, Neilochka…I am a figment of my own imagination. And Talking Penis?? I’ve worked in enough hospitals to know those things are totally real.

  15. V-Grrrl

    Note that Annie H deals with people with severe brain damage in her profession. Ahem

    Just remember, Neil, I am not a person, I am a BRAND, and all photos of me should be credited to Di Mackey Photography at http://www.dimackeyphotography.com

    Yes, we’re cross-marketing together, and oh yeah, we’re FRIENDS too. But not on Facebook.

  16. sassy

    Oh, the real me? I’m actually a very hairy overweight middle aged man.

  17. Neil

    V-grrrl — couldn’t find any photos of Di!

  18. mp

    Did you steal a picture of me?

  19. flutter

    *waggles her real fingers at you*

  20. deezee

    I am so glad I didn’t let you snap a photo of me when we met. I like to fly below the radar.

  21. Neil

    Deezee — wimp. mark my words. one day, when you least expect it, smile —

  22. Fancy

    The reason I don’t have any pictures of me on my blog, at least recent ones, is because I refuse to be judged on what I look like. I may be thin and gorgeous, I may have had plastic surgery, I may be plain, I may be overweight. But none of that is really who I am.

  23. Neil

    Fancy — Yes, I was worried about that. There is nothing worse than someone publishing a photo of you where you don’t like the photo. That has happened to me plenty of times. I’m not sure I would like this idea if you did it — and stole a photo of me!

    But do you really think we judge each other online on how we look? Granted, some bloggers are clearly more “model-esque,” than others, but when it comes down to it, we aren’t dating each other, but connecting in another way. I’m not going to be reading a blog or liking a blogger better just because a girl is cuter than the next.

    However, if I feel that one female blogger might put out more easily than another, that might tip the scales a bit, but that is another issue.

    But you are right. There is something cool about not letting looks become a factor in blogging. Like you say, that isn’t “who we are.”

  24. Jennifer H

    I took a poll. Everyone in Arizona reads your blog while wearing either a golf shirt or a tank top and flip flops. (And probably shorts, too, but that’s unconfirmed.) A solid 65% of the people are real, and the other 35% have had way too much plastic surgery. Or is it the other way around? Either way, I’m real.

    And I can prove it, since I have a flickr photostream. Even if it is lame.

  25. margalit

    All I can say is, thank God I don’t have any photos of myself on my flickr. Except for my feet. You can have photos of my feet.

  26. Ellen Bloom

    Did I make it to the picture show??? I only have YARN on my flickr account, but there are photos of my all over my blog.
    Us Hollywood types like to be recognized, whenever and wherever!!!

  27. Ashley

    So wait, you’re wussing out? Or was it the picture of the big hairy dude in a thong that made you reconsider?

  28. Nat

    I reckon it was the big dude in thong…

    I loved this idea.. 🙂

  29. Postmodern Sass

    Slow blog day, eh? 🙂

  30. Neil

    Postmodern — I can’t find your flickr…

  31. Wendy

    Huh. This is a really good idea. I would do it, but I would only have 2 or three photos on there. lol Have fun with it!

  32. maggie, dammit

    I really love this, Neil. I think it’s cool.

  33. leesepea

    Yay! I made the list!

    And just yesterday I was thinking you’d forgotten about me…

    *Swoon!*

  34. Sarah

    Hm, apparently you haven’t found my flickr acct. I must not be that lucky…or is that stalking? not sure. 🙂

  35. Brenda - SeriouslyMama

    I think this was totally cool and it’s funny to me that some people are so weirded out by it.

    But I am not sure that you would really get to know the “real” person by just looking at a photo and reading a blog post though. 😉 But hell, if you like it, then keep on collecting!

  36. Suzanne

    That email address that you found curious? That’s my Flickr name. You may hard pressed to find an image of me, because I’m the one behind the camera. f

  37. But Why Mommy

    So there are real people behind the blogs. This is a pretty cool idea, feel free to find me.

  38. Karla

    I’m hardly real. At least a couple of pounds of me is silicone.

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