Am I losing my cool? Do I need to listen to more hip hop? I used to be the hippest dude on the block. Now I watch re-runs of Matlock on TV.
Yesterday, there were four comments that sent me over to Google Search. Where do you people pick up your words? Is it because I don’t have kids? I don’t know what you are talking about half the time!
These are four actual comments left yesterday:
Iâ€™d let you rub my honker at a BlogHer pajama party — Black Hockey Jesus
OK, now I’m not stupid. I’m assuming BHJ is referring to his dick. Or do I just assume every guy is talking about his dick? I could swear, though, that “honker” used to be a slang for nose. I think I can actually remember a Bugs Bunny episode where Bugs squeezes Elmer Fudd’s “honker.”
I donâ€™t know why men and women bloggers canâ€™t be friends. I would like my very own Sanford, though — Sammanthia
I was totally lost here. Sanford? The only connection I could make here was to the seventies sitcom, Sanford and Son. But what is the meaning? Is Sammanthia saying she has a fantasy of making love to an older, foul-mouthed African-American man who runs a junk yard? Hey, I don’t judge anyone’s sex dreams, but why is she mentioning it here in this context?
No. Those friendships are impossible. Iâ€™m fucking TIRED of moms asking me for pictures of my moobs. — Backpacking Dad
Moobs. After a second I did figure it out. Moobs = man boobs. But are we talking about any man? Or are we referring to an overweight guy who might have a “chest?” Is it a compliment to tell my trainer at the gym that “he has great moobs” or is it an insult? This is a word that I will not be using very often. I don’t even say the word boobs. Too wimpy. I say “tits.”
We donâ€™t have mallowmars here, so if youâ€™re coming for dinner, you can bring them! and bring your mom too, she can sleep over, iâ€™ve always got room for â€œnanaâ€. — Better Safe than Sorry
Nana? First of all, let me say, that I have never heard anyone Jewish call any relative “nana.” There is no more “goyish” word than “nana.” Someone Protestant might ask, “Will “Nana” be coming to the Easter dinner?” You will never hear someone Jewish ask, “Will “Nana” be bringing the kugel to the Passover seder.” Besides, I always thought that “Nana” meant grandmother. Now I know my mother just retired, but are you going to call my mother “Grandma” when you meet her? Unless there is something you want to tell about that little “lunch” we had nine months ago?
Now if I know most of you are laughing at me, feeling good about yourself, saying Neilochka is such a stick in the mud while I am so hip with the lingo!
Well, now is your chance to prove it to me. I just read this article in my mother’s, uh… AARP magazine titled, What Are They Talking About? 50 Words That Kids Think You Donâ€™t Know.
Prove to me that we really are BFF. Tell me how many you DON’T KNOW. The answers are on the AARP site.
jump the shark
off the chain
Now, how cool am I — referencing the rad AARP magazine?! Sweet!