I had lunch on Sunday with my mother and Laura, the friend who went with my mother on the recent Alaskan cruise.Â Â I hadn’t seen Laura in a while. She was the one who made the arrangement for the trip.
Neil:Â Did you enjoy the Alaskan cruise?
Neil:Â What was your favorite part?
Neil:Â I think Mom liked the food the best!
Mom:Â Ha Ha.Â You’re right!
Neil:Â When my mother came back, I asked her to tell me all about Alaska, and she spent most of the time talking about the food.
Mom:Â It was too much, even for me. You could eat 24 hours a day, even at midnight.Â This man at our table would order three entrees every night — meat, chicken, lobster.Â That’s just not healthy.
Laura:Â I tried to limit myself.
Mom:Â Me, too.Â I still put on ten pounds.Â From now on, I’m good.Â
Laura:Â There were plenty who were a lot worse than us.
Mom:Â Remember when that woman from Seattle came to the table with a big tray of ten desserts, and I thought, “How nice. She’s bringing one for everyone at the table,” and then we found out that they were all for her!”
Laura:Â She would have slapped you if you went near her dessert.Â People went crazy with the food.
Neil:Â Mom said the glaciers weren’t as impressive as in the brochure.Â
Mom:Â They looked more like rocks with snow on them.
Laura:Â Well, it was that time of year.
Neil:Â It was funny how on the Princess Cruise website, they show the ship sailing between what look like the icebergs from the Titanic movie.
Mom:Â They also never show you the five OTHER cruise ships that are there at the same exact time you are.
Laura:Â But it was a lot of fun.Â We played some trivial games with some other passengers.Â Some never even left the ship!
Elaine:Â We loved this train ride up… where was this…?
Laura:Â I don’t remember.Â It was nice.
Elaine:Â And the entertainment was Las Vegas quality.Â Maybe not the Belaggio quality, but one of the lesser casinos.
Neil:Â Did you see any whales?
Mom:Â That was funny.Â One day, they said “Whale on the right side,” on the loudspeaker, so everyone ran — and all you could see was a fin.
Neil:Â On the website, they show whales jumping out of the water and eating snacks from the hands of the passengers.Â Liars.
Laura:Â But it was delightful.
Elaine:Â It was.Â The people of Alaska are very nice.
Neil:Â How many Alaskans did you meet?
Elaine:Â The tour guides.
Neil:Â Do you think the glaciers are smaller now because of global warming?
Laura:Â I don’t believe in that Al Gore stuff.
Neil:Â Why not?
Laura:Â I saw another show where they said it is a natural occurence.Â We had an Ice Age once before and now the weather is changing again.
Neil:Â What do you think, Mom?
Mom:Â I believe in global warming.Â Too many cars.Â Whenever I go to LA, everyone has three cars.
Laura:Â I don’t believe in the whole “green” thing.
Mom:Â I do, but some of it — I have to admit — is just plain stupid.
Neil:Â Like what?
Mom:Â Like they say, “Don’t take the plastic bag at the grocery store.Â Take the paper bag.”Â Now if I take the paper bag, where am I going to throw my garbage in the kitchen?Â The paper bag will just fall apart.Â So, then I will end up buying Hefty plastic bags to throw out my garbage, and it’ll be the exact same thing, except before – I could have gotten the plastic bags for free.Â Right?
Neil:Â You know, you make a good point, Mom.Â I don’t know the answer to that question.
Mom:Â Why don’t you write THAT on your blog?