Blonde shiksa enjoying a “Neilochka”
Earlier today, I received a comment on my last post suggesting that it might be easier to earn immortality by having my own sandwich at a Jewish deli rather than creating a drink named a Neilochka. Not a bad idea. After all, half of you didn’t even know that a lemonade/iced tea was called an Arnold Palmer. Clearly, my readers are lushes who only know the names of drinks with vodka or tequila inside.
I love the sandwich idea. It totally fits my “branding.” I love sandwiches. I’m Jewish. And there is something very sexy about a woman eating MY sandwich.
But I’m all about community. In the spirit of the Great Interview Experiment, I believe that Everyone is a Somebody. That’s why, today I am opening Neilochka’s Virtual Kosher Deli. Think of it as a Subway extreme. The options are unlimited. You create your own sandwich — the meat, cheese, or vegetables, the condiments, and the type of bread — and then name it after yourself.
My sandwich, the Neilochka, is fairly simple, which reflects my personality. Corned beef, sauerkraut, spicy wasabi mustard, on rye bread. No cheese or vegetables. Enjoy it for lunch.
What is your sandwich? Write it in the comments.
Mine is bologna and liverwurst on a chocolate bagel.
Seriously. The THB. The gift that keeps on giving.
Toasted sour dough bread that is then lightly dipped in egg and fried until dry.
Cheddar Cheese, home-made brown sugar based bbq sauce, with a slice of pork roast or meat loaf.
I usually just skip the sandwich and go right for the pickle.
Teahouse — bologna and liverwurst on a chocolate bagel?! I’m going to get tossed out of the Jewish Deli Guild for serving that monstrosity!
I am bookmarking this page for eternity.
Oh, yeah! I’m smitten enough to delurk and give you the Sexy Blogger Award.
Come on by, and:
Get your sexy on
Go ahead, be gone with it
Cajunvegan — Thank you. I appreciate someone who finds sandwiches sexy.
Why did you have to post about a sandwich that sounds so damn good when I’m trying to lose weight??
I’ll name mine the Hurley. It will have cheese, tomato and red pasta sauce.
Heather Hero:
Whole Wheat Kaiser Roll
Fresh turkey breast
Curry mayonnaise
Cranberries
Sprouts
Aged Swiss
Applewood smoked bacon
Avocado
Thin sliced beefsteak tomato
Fresh ground pepper and kosher salt to taste
And a big ass, cold, crunchy, dill on the side.
And yes, my mouth IS big enough for that sandwich.
The V-Grrrl Sandwich
Musician on one side
Writer on the other
V-Grrrl in the Middle
Served on warm sheets
The Dad Sandwich
Rye or pumpernickel bread
Roast Beef (red)
Purple onion
spring mix
thinly-cut avocado slices
tomato
alfalfa or onion sprouts
mayo
Actually, I’ve made that sandwich for Brett, “Dad” and it’s a scrumptious thing indeed. Made one for my younger brother and he had an epiphany that he needed to start dating girls who weren’t cuisine challenged. Married a caterer.
Here’s the Book Slobber (there’s no neat way to eat this):
Thick slices of multi-grain bread
large gobs of vegetarian chopped liver (recipe below)
spring mix
thinly sliced Vidalia onion
sprouts
Veggie Chopped Liver (don’t laugh, this is good. It’s adopted from “Moosewood Cookbook”)
3 cups frozen chopped green beans, microwaved for 12-15 minutes until they’re a yucky dark green, but not dehydrated
1 large yellow onion, chopped and sauteed in olive oil until transparent. Careful not to burn it.
1/2 c. chopped walnuts
2 hard boiled eggs
2 Tablespoons mayo
fistfuls of fresh Italian parsley
salt and pepper to taste
dash of lemon juice to taste
Mix everything in a food processor until it forms a fine paste. Yum!
Our 2Dolphins Tuna Wrap laughs heartily at your paltry excuses for sammiches:
1 pkg Albacore tuna (in the pouch, not can)
2-3 dollops of real mayo
2 spoonfuls of dill relish
1 finely chopped celery stick
Several liberal pinches of finely chopped parsley & chives
Coupla sprinkles of red pepper flakes
Splash (or two) of Tabasco sauce
Serve with shredded sharp Cheddar cheese and shredded romaine or green leaf lettuce on a Mission Carb Balance whole grain tortilla.
High protein. High fiber.
Kick-butt lunch!
I’ll have what she’s having
by the way, when I wrote “Inland Empress” I had a category called “Sandwich Maven”
Here’s the link: http://snipurl.com/235px
I’d never noticed before what a saucy minx V-Grrrl is.
Turkey breast, stuffing, and cranberry sauce on toasted, thick-sliced wheat bread, sprinkled with rosemary.
V-grrrl — Marry me.
Rob O — I like how you say “real” mayo. None of that non-fat fake crap for you!
The Punchline:
Roast beef
Caramelized onion
Fresh Tomato
Roasted garlic
Blue cheese
Provolone
All melted on an awesome french bread.
I don’t have a sandwich. I love a good 3 cheese grilled sandwich on sourdough.
my tuna has white tuna, real mayo, dried onion, parm cheese and apples.
I LOVE EGG salad too! my secret ingredient is horseradish.
The Carpe Diem
you’ll need a pure blue sky;
one crusty baguette;
cheese–some stinky & some creamy;
a handful of fruit;
a nice bottle of wine & some mineral water;
one companion;
and a blanket.
Instructions: gather ingredients quickly, overthinking spoils it. Toss them all together and head directly for the most scenic natural setting you can get to inside an hour.
Ne regrettez rien.
Kyran — There’s no way my kosher deli will have the resources to make that sandwich, unless it is a special take-out deal, but I found that romantic and sexy. Still, no pickle or french fries?
I’ll take a nice, hearty whole-grain bread topped with roasted eggplant, red pepper, cucumbers and hummus. Maybe sprinkle on a little crumbled goat cheese too. I’m not a huge carnivore.
But V-Grrl and Non-Highlighted Heather both had tasty sounding options!
Wendy’s Wicked Ticket
avacado
shrimp..the big good ones..cut into pcs
green onion
little mayo
little lemon juice
little sugar
lots of spice..
all tucked in a nice tight pocket.
pita, that is.
I say keep it simple:
Take 2 pillowy soft buns, insert a flavorful kielbasa, top with a secret sauce and you’re done.
BTW, wow, can’t believe I inspired this here post!
You gonna eat that pickle?
Corned Beef
Pastrami
Spicy Deli Mustard
Lettuce
Tomato
Gruyère
in a baguette and a side of au jus.
I call it the French NYer.
Make mine a Whoorl, but on sourdough
bread instead of a bagel.
The Toronto Twist
A large twister bagel, slightly toasted, w/
whipped cream cheese
sliced tomato
sliced kosher dill
fresh bean sprouts.
Nothing too exciting, just hearty and digestable!
Follow with a tall glass of cold, grapefruit juice.
I would totally eat your sandwich…and wow, that sounds vaguely dirty. In any event, I bring you The Metalia: A salt bagel (toasted twice) with a thin layer of horseradish mustard, topped with one slice of swiss, one slice of cheddar, avocado, a few slivers of red onion, and freshly ground black pepper. It’s my absolute favorite.
I loved this post! I keep coming back to see what everyone else has come up with for sandwhiches! BTW I’ve got an award for you, an award of Excellence. Come check it out if you’re into that kind of thing!
Sorry, I’m slightly distracted by the large pickle in the photo….
My sandwich? I think the Gorilla would be befitting:
French bread
spicy mustard
pepper jack cheese
salami
provolone cheese
banana peppers
peppered turkey
jalepeno peppers
thinly sliced red onions
swiss cheese
smoked ham
olive relish
cherry peppers
bacon
topped with zesty italian dressing
Somehow, I don’t think this is Kosher or would be served in your deli.
and yes, I’ve made this sandwich for my husband. He married me for it.
my god that sam-wich looks very good, i wish to eat it now.
i only learned of the arnold palmer while lunching with business people in las vegas.
Frankly it is hard to beat V-Grrrl’s response but here’s mine anyway!
The 180/360 Italian Club
Parmesan focaccia spread with pesto aioli and layered 3 times with egg crepe, provolone, turkey, bacon, and cheddar.
There’s a receipe for The Therapydoc. Throw away the yokes of three eggs (just do it) and whip them with a little milk, no it doesn’t matter what kind, but it should be kosher. Fry mozzarella in a small none-stick pan, add the whites until they’re looking hard, season with pepper, a little salt, add a slice of rye, preferably a big, one, maybe corn rye even, lightly brown the mozzarella, and flip it to toast the bottom of the bread.
This is the best post I’ve ever seen. Everyone should have a signature sandwich.
Not a lot of flash in my favorite sandwich. Egg salad made with Miracle whip, minced red onions, topped with thinly sliced radishes, and spinach. I usually eat this on a whole wheat tortilla. That will have to be the exciting part.
Neil–Let’s get married and make sandwiches together all our days.
Non-highlighted Heather? You made my day by calling me a saucy minx.
The only way the naming-your-own-sandwich thing is going to work is if you write it in every menu at every deli/restaurant you visit. And, make sure you write the ingredients as well as the price, or know one will take you seriously. And if there is no paper menu, have custom signs printed up which you can post in the windows describing your sandwich/it’s price. Call it Deli Graffiti if you want. Trust me, it’ll work.
Oh, and I’ll have a fried peanut butter/ banana sandwich to go, please.
The Lone Beader has now left this blog.
i think you should forgot about the movie script you’re working on and publish a cookbook instead.
White meat chicken with curry mayo–not too much–celery, and green grapes on a French baguette.
My favorite sandwich: two thick slices of buttermilk bread stuffed with Monterey Jack cheese, avocado slices, mustard, mayo, bean sprouts and maybe a leaf or two of spinach.
fun idea. i guess mine would be gooey soft brie and slightly smooshed raspberries in a croissant. warmed but not toasted. with a chunk of dark chocolate on the side. as for a name. um… the slorgcatcher? i’m really not so good with names.
Neil,
I’m not a minimalist, I’m just poor and lazy.
The Plex Flexico:
Take a VERY fresh pita, lay flat on cutting board. Spread half with Sambal Olek and half with hummus. Lay some falafel balls down and squish with the back of a spoon to flatten, Add a generous amount of cucumbers and tomatoes that have been diced, salted with lemon salt and left overnight in a colander in the fridge, drained well and mixed with a bit of tahineh. Add some strips of turnip pickle (Those violently magenta ones!) and roll up, tucking in one end. Roll in waxed paper and foil and let sit for 2 or 3 minutes for the flavors to blend a bit.
Never really named it but something I ejoy along with a beer on a hot summer day.
*Really fresh, thickly sliced French Bread
*Peanut Butter
*Onion (Vidallia (in season) for the ‘onion shy’)
*Mayonnaise
You’ll be surprised
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