the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Hello, Look This Site, and F*ck Yourself

Spam (my added * – because my mother requested)

Three Cute Birds

Hello, Look This Site, and F*ck Yourself
by Neil Kramer aka Neilochka

Hello, Look This Site, and F*ck Yourself
Were three little birds perched upon my shelf
And depending on my mood that day
I’d point at one and have her say
Hello,” if I was full of glee
And sipping my mornin’ cup of tea
Look this site!” when insecure
And hidden behind my double door
But little birdie number three
I kept behind a lock and key
I’d only use on special days
To special people who deserve the praise
Hello, Look This Site, and F*ck Yourself
Were three little birds perched upon my shelf.

A Year Ago on Citizen of the Month:  Traditionalists (I completely forgot about this handwriting “meme” from last year!)


  1. CuriosityKiller

    You can come up with this fabulous poem from spam???

    I’m still mastering no response to spam… let alone being creative. So fun!

  2. Not Fainthearted

    Awesome! Every 6th grader ought to study this poem in Language Arts class. With the asterisk, of course.

    I appreciate the tags, as well. Utter Nonsense I get. Super Bowl Sunday?

    I remember that meme from last year though, especially your “analysis” of my contribution.

  3. ajooja

    I once new a man from Nantucket.

  4. ajooja

    “knew” — f*cking typos!

  5. Neil

    Not Faint Hearted — OK, that was a stretch. I’ll get rid of that “tag.”

  6. 180/360

    I love it!

  7. Nate

    I’m printing this out, framing it, and placing it on my desk.

    Thanks, Neil!

  8. better safe than sorry

    oh come on, the only reason you’re drinking tea is because it rhymes with glee.

  9. Neil

    Better Safe — Actually, I found this brand of green tea that is powdered and really good and I’m actually drinking it a lot more than coffee. But, yeah, basically, tea rhymed with glee…

  10. LVGurl

    Hello! I love your!! site and all that you intellectualize it. You make good times. OK bye.

    !!!Buy Am*biem @~!~~~

  11. Stacey

    My favorite spam started with some complaint about “feudalist pigs.”

  12. wendy

    You keep her under lock and key for OTHER reasons too… Admit it Neil..

    Clever clever boy.

  13. V-Grrrl

    You wrote this for your therapist, didn’t you?

  14. Joan

    ohhhh birdie num nums..

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