Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

A Black Cloud Over Me

bomb.jpg 

Do you sometimes feel that there is a black cloud over your head for a week or so, and everything just seems to be…OFF.

I had a great weekend where I met some terrific bloggers.  On Friday, I went to see Wicked with Wendy.  On Saturday, I had dinner with Heather B, Nabbalicious, LeahPeah, Joe, and Abigail.  (I’ll write more about all this tomorrrow)

Despite the great time with all these bloggers, there were growing signs that the gods were against me.  During dinner with Wendy, I spilled tomato sauce on my shirt, and then tried to clean it with iced tea, just making it worse  I’m sure I really impressed her with my sophistication. 

The next night, I ordered a Cape Cod as a drink.  I thought it sounded urbane and witty, like my blog.  Halfway through my drink, I saw Abigail looking my way.

Abigail:  “Neil, you know that they keep a little bit of the paper on the top of the straw to be sanitary.  You’re drinking through the paper.”

Neil:  “Uh, yes…yes, I know that.  It is a… Jewish tradition thing to do this.  Like being kosher.”

I’m not sure she bought that.

Sunday was the bra incident at the movie theater.

Today, the black cloud truly darkened and it poured.  Something broke inside our frost-free freezer, creating icicles everywhere and ruining everything inside our freezer, including our precious Trader Joe’s burritos.   Sophia and I tried to salvage some of our frozen food by cooking twenty veggie burgers, 50 egg rolls, and 7 frozen soups all at once before the food defrosted completely.

As if this bad luck wasn’t enough, I just sat down for a five minute break with a Diet Coke, and as I opened it, the can exploded soda all over the living room, including on the couch, not making Sophia very happy.

I fear that if I continue on with this post, something bad will happen, like the blogosphere blowing up.

Keep away from me until things are safe.

A Year Ago on Citizen of the Month:   Pee Like a Man

(And happy birthday, Mom, traveling somewhere on a cruise in Nova Scotia!  Be glad I’m not on the boat with you.)

20 Comments

  1. Oprah’s testing you, Neil.

  2. oh dear. i’ve had weeks like that. be very careful and don’t make any drastic decisions. 🙂

  3. Ack! Don’t Jinx me!

  4. yeah. like you just made me spill my coffee. thanks, neil.

  5. Stay away from the major fault lines.

  6. I think there’s a curse in the blog world!! Some black magic kook out there put a hex on us.

    I spilled melted wax all over my desk, a pen exploded ink all over my hands and shirt, and I accidentally wrote on our office wall with dry erase pen and tried to remove it… only making it worse and ended up removing the paint. These things happened on Tuesday. Since then both my boyfriend and my car broke down (badly… expensively…) and I came down with an ailment only a $75 dollar prescription will remedy.

    Something bad is happening.

    Maybe we should plan a meeting of all unfortunate bloggers and brainstorm. I can’t survive this trend much longer.

  7. And Mercury isn’t even in retrograde. Wow. (I have no idea what I am talking about)

  8. Your mom is a Libra like me! 😀

  9. Yikes. Sounds like a good deal of my life, which often seems like a goofy slapstick comedy (if you aren’t the one living it).

  10. When are you and I going to hang? Then I can die a (reasonably) happy man.

  11. Step away from the keyboard..keep your hands up…

  12. You are indeed being tested Neilochka…….seems you are a walking time bomb. my advice is to stay away from power cables, train tracks and airports, at least everyone will be safe around you.
    Prob in about 2 days time there will be a full moon!

  13. Buy a lottery ticket! I always thought that negative karma should have a great big reward at the end. (Of course, it never works for me.)

  14. it’s soda water you should use for a stain, not iced tea, as tea stains, which is why people try and bleach their teeth although i don’t understand why anyone would willingly put bleach into their mouths?

    happy birthday to your mom, nova scotia is beautiful!

    now stay far away from your computer;)

  15. Go to YouTube and listen to I Feel Lucky by Mary Chapin Carpenter….

  16. Welcome tomy world…I’m always happy when someone else spills on themselves. Then I don’t have to feel so bad about myself.

  17. Oh..sorry I meant to lift that spell before I left..Did I forget?? OOOPS. My bad.

  18. Sounds like you’re do for a nap! I would say a drink, but that might spill, so instead – just nap! 🙂

  19. I think I have a black cloud too! Since I moved back to the states I have had awful things going on. My Grandmother fell twice and had to have a hip replacement. My brother got into a bad car accident. My Grandmother then had a heart attack. I bought a puppy on Friday and it turned out to have Parvo and then died on Saturday Morning. What the hell?

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Social media & sharing icons powered by UltimatelySocial