Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Escape (The Cuban Mojito Song)

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I was tired of my lady
We’d been together too long
Like a worn-out recording
Of a favorite song
So while she lay there sleeping
I went on the internet
And in the personal columns
There was this letter I read

“If you like cuban mojitos
And “Do You Think You Can Dance?”
If you’re not into football
Do you own cargo pants?
If you like making love in the morning
Before eating a crepe
Then you’re the love that I’ve looked for
Write to me and escape.”

I didn’t think about my lady
I know that sounds kind of mean
But me and my old lady
Have fallen into the same old fighting routine
So I went on the internet
Took out a personal ad
And though I’m nobody’s poet
I thought it wasn’t half bad

“Yes I like cuban mojitos
And “Do You Think You Can Dance?”
I’m not much into LA
I’d rather be living in France
I’ve got to meet you by tomorrow noon
I don’t care if you look like an ape
At our local Starbucks
Where we’ll plan our escape.”

So I waited with high hopes
And she walked in the place
I knew her smile in an instant
I knew the curve of her face
It was my own Sophia
And she said, “Oh it’s you.”
Then we laughed for a moment
And I said, “I never knew.”

That you like cuban mojitos
And “Do You Think You Can Dance?”
Laughing at Susan Lucci
And living in France
If you like making love in the morning
Before eating a crepe
You’re the lady I’ve looked for
Come with me and escape

What do you mean you didn’t know that?
We watch AMC each day!
There seems to be some marital problems
Unresolved since May
Should we take another breather
You and me both apart
Or should we go and listen
To what’s in our heart?

That you like cuban mojitos
And “Do You Think You Can Dance?”
Laughing at Susan Lucci
And living in France
If you like making love in the morning
Before eating a crepe
You’re the one that I’ve looked for
Come with me and escape

A Year Ago on Citizen of the Month: My Life in Haircuts

26 Comments

  1. Nice but did you do something wrong again? Just wondering.

  2. Haha! Awesome. But I think Dagny might be on to something.

  3. this, Neil, is why I read your blog everyday. thanks

  4. Sometimes it pays to take a new look at the one you think you know, you know?

    Mmmm, mojitos.

  5. Keep this Crosby, Stills, Nash (& Young) song in mind too: “Love the One You’re With.”

    Thx for the smile.

  6. Trouble in paradise? Or maybe just in your head? Now if I don’t get that song out of my head you’ll have more trouble!

  7. You and Sophia are a match made in heaven. One day you’ll stop fighting long enough to figure that out. ;–)

    Now go buy somne airline tickets to France.

  8. Hehe, I love what you’ve done to revamp it!

  9. Hate that tune. Like your new lyrics. Hate that tune. What have you done to her this time? Fix it quick.

  10. Holy fvck. I didn’t know Bill Gates cut that song. Very creative, crepe eater.

  11. Hah! Maybe you just need to quit watching AMC and switch to OLTL. I’ve been watching that show since 1976 and my life has been enriched by it!

    After seeing you a Sophia together on Saturday, I know that you are meant to stay together! You definitely compliment each other. Try spending at least 7 hours apart during the day. It’s worked wonders for my 15 year marriage.

    Neil..you’re so TALL in person!

  12. Neil, I feel gypped. I was hoping the video would be of you singing your revised lyrics, a la the broom dance.

  13. You’ve done Rupert Holmes proud. Plus, I love mojitos whereas I hate pina coladas, so it works for me on a couple of levels.

  14. Sputnik, even I can’t look at nerdy as Rupert Holmes singing that song in that button-down shirt.

  15. You rhymed ‘crepe’ with ‘escape.’

    Fantastic!

  16. How can I ever thank you for making sure this song ends up in my head again?

  17. I hate the original version of this song… but I like your rendition of it…

    good work neil.

  18. Neil, I think you would sound wonderful singing that tune with your lyrics! Take Ellen’s advice and spend some hours apart each day. Love this post!

  19. maybe you guys just need to go to france?

  20. Sigh.

    I understand. A little too well.

    And I’ve never had a mojito.

  21. Hahahaha..I’ve loved this song since I was in high school…

  22. Neilochka: The Master of Alternate Lyrics (well, except for maybe Weird Al.)

  23. Bravo!!!!!!!! Encore!!!!!!!!!!

  24. Very romantic Neil….Go with your heart…Vintage Neil. Big smooch to you!

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