Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

A Highlight of the Trip

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The highlight of our trip so far was stopping at Port Orford, childhood home of bloggers Erin and Echo, and literally meeting half the town. Sophia and I learned so much dirt about these two. I wonder if they are still as wild as they were in high school? This is your life, Erin and Echo! Do you remember working shifts at the Seaweed Cafe?!

Sophia: “This is the ‘highlight’ of the trip? What about the majestic redwoods?”

Neil’s Penis: “I was not impressed.”

Neil: “Why not, Penis?”

Neil’s Penis: “Everyone always talks about how big they are, but it isn’t size that is important, it’s how long you stay up.

Sophia: “Didn’t you read the tourbook, Penis? Some of those redwoods have been standing up for a thousand years.”

Neil’s Penis: “Oh. Well, I guess that is impressive.”

Neil: “Don’t you think we should tell everyone that we have made it to Portland?”

Sophia: “I think it is time you wrote thank you notes for all your gifts.”

Neil: “I’m overwhelmed! The trip… the birthday greetings… meeting bloggers…”

Sophia: “Are you still nervous over whether of not to hug people when you meet them?”

Neil: “I do get a little anxious in crowds.”

Neil’s Penis: “Is Ms. Sizzle going to be there?

Neil: “I think so!”

Neil’s Penis: “You have to hug her.”

Neil: “You’re right. I do consider her to be somewhat sort of a friend.”

Neil’s Penis: “I don’t care about that! Have you seen those photos of her cleavage?”

Sophia: “sigh…”

10 Comments

  1. Neil’s Penis definitely has a one-track mind.

    Hooray for meeting up with bloggers in person!!

  2. Congrats on making it to Portland.

  3. You got the dirt huh? I heard all about your visit… I think made quite an impression on our little town. 🙂 I bet you guys will end up on the front page of the Downtown Funzone Newspaper!

  4. i met a blogger in person this week, i hugged her, but i think i may have invaded her space, but i was so glad to meet her after the driving directions i had. as long as it’s only you invading space and not Neil’s Penis, i think a hug is appropriate, actually called for.

  5. Down boy! Actually, this hug phobia thingie highlight a fundamental difference between you Americans and us Brits – you are used to masses of personal space whereas we’re all crammed on top of one another on this small rock, so we’re quite hug-ready as a nation and we don’t think twice about it. Put it that way, when you have to contend daily with overcrowded public transport where other people’s armpits, arses or even genitalia are positioned within less than an inch of your face, you tend to get pretty, erm, cosy. Come on, get hugging! Tis by far the bestest, nicest thing ever ever ever. It makes people go all fuzzy inside…

  6. I’m glad you enjoyed our little town, it really brightened my mom’s day that you went out of your way to try and meet her. When Erin and I go home, we’re treated like minor celebrities. Going any place takes at least an hour, because we have to stop and give people the update on our life. I’m sure you and Sofia will make it into the paper.

  7. I guess if you were raised in NYC and then lived your adult life in LA, small town life would seem more foreign and awe-inspiring than red woods. Unlike Echo, I never need to give anyone an update on my life since my mom has been doing it for me. It was strange returning to my hometown recently and people I barely know are greating my baby by her name!

  8. hmmm, this conversation between sophia, neil, and neils penis sounds a lot like a conversation between a mom, dad, and teenage son… you better watch him when he tries to hug ms sizzle

  9. Maybe Neil, Sophia and Neil’s Penis, (Yes, it’s capitalized on purpose)could all give Ms. Sizzle a group hug. It might just be the highlight of TequilaCon for her.

  10. Wait… so now Sophia is capable of understanding your penis? Wowzers. If I were her, I’d be scared.

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