the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

London Calling


My pandering about the sex appeal of British babes such as Kate Winslet, Rachel Weisz, and Helen Mirren finally paid off — a mention in the Times of London about my 1987 Oscars coverage.  That’s bloody wonderful!

So, screw you, New York Times!  I’m not waiting around for you anymore, you stuffy old fart.  And you know what — growing up in Queens, my family read the Daily News anyway.  Ha Ha!

And LA Times — don’t make me laugh.

London Rocks!  (good Indian food, too)


Remember:  Send Carnival of the Mundane links to neilochka at yahoo dot com.


  1. deezee

    very cool…

  2. Bice

    God! There’ll be no living with you now.

  3. ms. sizzle

    you’re totally going to autograph my breast at TC. you’re more famous than ever now.

  4. Bre

    Smashing! Now more than ever you can rip off fun British slang for your personal use! 🙂

  5. Neil

    Sizzle — that would be the dog’s bollocks! (fantastic in Brit slang)

  6. Roadchick


  7. Katie

    I’m gobsmacked! You’re the toast of Fleet Street, mate!

  8. psychomom

    That’s bloody terrific!

    England gets COTM and we get Becks, we got ripped off!

  9. Neil

    I always had a fancy to be mentioned by the London Times and it couldn’t have happened at a better time. I was a little knackered yesterday and Sophia kept on telling me to keep my pecker up.

    “Be a man, not a Nancy boy,” she said.

    “Get lost,” I replied. “I’m just jolly narked.”

    “Bullocks. That’s total pants,” she said. “When you want to, you are full of beans.”

    “Well, that’s different. That’s when I’m feeling fruity and looking for a shag.”

    “Sorry, John Thomas,” she laughed. “You’re still at her Majesty’s pleasure!”

  10. Not Faint Hearted

    Rock. On.

  11. Pearl

    Bravo. Are you going to be knighted, too? Sir Neil Kramer…at His Majesty’s (Sophia’s) service.

  12. Nance

    Holy cow. We really are a Global Village. ;->

  13. Wendy

    Rock on Neil!!!!!!

  14. Rick

    Doncha love it when that happens? 😉

  15. susannah


    i can’t stop laughing… and you know why Neilochka x

  16. susannah

    Neil, try and do some cockney now … gor blimey guv’nor… apples and pears etc etc

  17. Neil

    Porridge – please sir, we’d like some more…

  18. Danny

    That is too cool! You know Rachel Weisz used to date Kate Winslet’s husband–are you hoping they’ll both go after the same guy again? Throw Helen Mirren in there and you’ll have one hot British threesome. I’m still lusting after Diana Rigg myself.

  19. anne

    well done, sir!

  20. Lisa

    That’s excellent! Congrats!

  21. rach

    That’s the Brits for you. We’re good at recognising obvious talented greatness. Well done old boy, you must be very proud!

  22. Neil

    Rach — Susannah just told me that that the “British” prefer to be called the “English?” Do you agree?

    And do you think I could get to see the Queen along with Helen Mirren? Tony Blair would be OK, but the Queen would be really special. See what you could do. Thanks!

  23. Blitz Krieg

    Neil, if you move to England would you mind picking me up a couple of CD’s I just can’t find here in the states? I’ll pay the postage.

  24. Ariel

    You’re the toast of Wapping! (Not that I am pedantic but The Times moved away from Fleet Street years ago and relocated to Wapping.) Anyway, a notable achievement. Pity I only read The Guardian these days, and then only when I can be faffed.

  25. Ariel

    You’re the toast of Wapping! (Not that I wish to be pedantic but The Times moved away from Fleet Street years ago and relocated to Wapping.) Anyway, a notable achievement. Pity I only read The Guardian these days, and then only when I can be faffed.

  26. Ariel

    OK, I AM pedantic and touchpad happy as I posted the same thing twice – by accident I hasten to point out. I am so excited that Citizen of the Month gained British recognition, that’s all. Aw!

  27. Neil

    Ariel – I faff ALL THE TIME!

  28. better safe than sorry

    keep it up, you’ll be sir neil in no time.

  29. Ariel

    The British prefer to be called English? Bollocks! Hell no! Cue a little geography lesson, if I may: Britain is the ‘big island’, it is made up of England, Wales and Scotland. Try calling a Scot or a Taffy (Welsh person) English and they’ll probably knock your teeth out. All are British however. Our country’s full name is The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Yup, Northern Ireland (whose ‘capital’ is Belfast) is part of the UK. The people living there are referred to as Irish or British or both, depending on their political allegiances. Please note that Northern Ireland is not to be confused with the Republic of Ireland (Eire) whose capital is Dublin and has nothing whatsoever to do with the UK. As an example, Eire uses the euro while Northern Ireland and Britain use the pound sterling. Any questions at the back of the class? And yes, when people say Ireland they can mean either Northern Ireland or Southern Ireland (the Republic) or both. Confused yet? So you should be! Ta ta for now…

  30. janet

    nice job mr. fancypants. Sophia is a fabulous press agent for you. (I have no idea if that’s true, I just generally like to give women credit for good things 🙂 )

  31. buzzgirl

    Wow. That’s exciting!

  32. Scarlet

    That’s so hott, Neil. I’m going to go back and reread your post with an accent now.

  33. Caron

    Congratulations! I too was trying to “hear” this post with your British accent. But, it keeps getting confused with that NY accent I heard over the weekend.

  34. margaret

    congrats on the shout out… i’m not down with the brit slang

  35. Fitena

    Bravo Neil! Well deserved! You rock! Missed you by the way! 🙂 Cyclone, fixing the new house and all!


  36. Jazz

    I am impressed.

    That’s all.

  37. Katie

    Well, you must admit “toast of Fleet Street” sounds better (although less salacious) than “toast of Wapping”.
    -Katie, who has actually been to Wapping.

  38. Dagny

    Congrats! And if you’re going, then I don’t want a present. I’m going with you. That way I can arrange to meet Rach.

  39. Booda Baby

    Well deserved, too. It was a very funny post and, objectively speaking, the best.

    Of course NOW I regret not posting my very clever nearly prescient thought when I read it: Ooh, this is kind of Britishy humor. Will the lessons never end?

  40. Lela

    Yea Neil!!

  41. fringes

    Too awesome.

  42. The Last Boy Scout

    London is awesome! but don’t forget to visit the North, absolutely brilliant. Maybe a day in York?

  43. Churlita

    Now, you can put “writing for the Times of London” in your resume.

  44. Jack

    The places blogging can take you. Who knew.

  45. Neil

    The Times in popular culture (from Wikipedia):

    During the time Ian Fleming was writing his James Bond books, Fleming had established that James Bond often is a reader of The Times.

    In George Orwell’s classic, Nineteen Eighty-Four, the main character Winston Smith works in the Ministry of Truth. His job is to edit reportings in previous issues of The Times in order for the government’s targets to appear upheld.

    In the Monty Python sketch Ministry of silly walks, the lead character played by John Cleese purchases a copy of The Times before going to the ministry.

  46. rach

    Got to say that I’m with Ariel, British it is. Stems back to the British Empire days I suppose. And if you are coming, please can Dagny come with you, shove her in a case or something. Would just love to meet you both. And re. the Queen and Helen Mirren, I’m not sure. I’ll ask Queenie when I next see her as we are in actual fact on first name terms, and she does come to me for relationship advice and new-age cures for hangovers etc. I think Helen finds her a bit of a bore, even though her Oscar speech said otherwise. Will check and get back to you.

  47. rach

    Just checked in with Mrs Windsor and she declined, muttered something about that glam tart Mirren (who I adore by the way) upstaging her and showing too much tittage in the film. I think she said “We are not amused” Rachel. As a byline, my nickname is HRH, which is rather a strange connection. My surname is Hall so I am named Her Rachel Hallness! Does that make me regal enough for afternoon tea with you, and if so, can we bin off tea and go down the pub for a proper pint of guiness instead with tequilla chasers?

  48. mmariem3

    You are officially a Brit resource now. You rock!

  49. Dana

    Uhm, did no one else notice the towering phallic imagery of the photo, especially in tandem with the “up yours, stupid newspapers” theme? Neil, are you letting pictures speak for your penis? Oh, but besides that, so thrilled for you that you got press in the swanky London Times after the disappointing debacle with the LA Times–good things come to those who wait.

  50. mckay

    spot on, neil.


  51. Jules

    After hearing your amazing New York accent a few months ago in an interview, I’m having a hard time ‘hearing’ as a Brit…which makes everything you’ve written in comment even funnier. Thanks Neil!

  52. Jennifer

    Well done you!

  53. mrsmogul

    Your’e in london? I could have given you some tips! GO TO PING PONG!

  54. sbukophile

    I like Ariel’s detailed explanation. My Brit hubby would also tell you (as he often tells me) that he is NOT European though. I always ask him to then explain which of the continents England is part of? Then there are the times where he claims to be European if it suits him.

    Did you know that there was a poll done asking Americans where they thought the United Kingdom was, and the majority of the people polled thought it was somewhere in the Middle East?

  55. Sedulia

    Congratulations, Neil! I mean, well done, old chap.

  56. Sedulia

    By the way, I distinctly remember being an early Blog Crush… are you shirty with me?

  57. dee

    my british snotty snobby cuzing-who is a teacher, i think of 2nd graders or something, said something to me as i told him about my present endevours..
    he said, you’re full of beans..
    which when asked what that meant he replied, full of zeal and energy.. i know that here it means full of shit..
    i am offended and want true clarity..
    what does full of beans mean to the Brit.

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