Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Live-Blogging the 1987 Academy Awards

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I was going to live-blog the 2007 Academy Awards telecast, but I noticed that at least two thousand other bloggers were doing the same thing, so in my quest to be different, I will live-blog the 1987 Academy Awards show.

00:24 –Dianne Wiest wins Best Supporting Actress for “Hannah and her Sisters!”  Big surprise.  Ha Ha. And where’s Woody?  I bet any blogger ten bucks that Michael Caine wins Best Supporting Actor.

01:02 — Where’s my money?!  I was right.  Michael Caine redeems himself for Jaws 3!  Is this going to be a Hannah sweep?  And what the HELL was Faye Dunaway wearing?  Bob Mackie again?  You could practically see her nipples!

01:44 — Oh, my god.  Marlee Matlin wins best actress for “Children of a Lesser God.”  I don’t care if she’s deaf.  She’s HOT!  I mean in a way where I can actually visualize her going out with me, unlike Lauren Hutton.

02:10  — That dance number is just plain embarrassing.  I’m embarrassed for the dancers.  I think I even saw Goldie Hawn yawning.

02: 34 — That song from “Top Gun?”  Best song?  How lame is the academy anyway?

02: 55 — Paul Newman is a great actor, but he doesn’t deserve it for “The Color of Money.”  That movie sucked worse than his Ranch Dressing.  And I don’t like Tom Cruise AT ALL.  I think his career is going to fizzle out very soon.  Or he’s going to drop out of show business and join some cult.

03:13 — Is Warren Beatty drunk?  Will he EVER settle down?

03:45 — Jack… Jack… Jack… loved that exchange with Cher!  That was the best part of the show.

03:57 — Chevy Chase is the best host EVER!

04:12 — Yawn.  Please end.  Please end.

04:30 — OK, get ready for “A Room with a View”… to win…  or “Hannah” maybe… “Platoon?!”  “Platoon?!” WTF!   The Academy… always with their “message” film.  How predictable.   No wonder Woody never shows up.

04:32 — This was the most boring Oscars I’ve ever seen.  I hope one day… maybe twenty years from now, when there is a whole new generation of filmmakers, that the Oscars show will actually be interesting…

A Year Ago on Citizen of the MonthDavid Sedaris Ruined My Blog

13 Comments

  1. Damn. And I was SURE that 1987 was going to be the year for Scorsese.

    I’m with you on Tom Cruise, though. The last decent thing he made was “Risky Business”.

  2. Hey Danny, we almost had the same idea today, but yours, of course, was actually intelligent.

     

  3. No time to comment. Must go over to DANNY’s!

  4. Quite fitting since for the first time ever I actually skipped watching the Oscars.

  5. Keep hoping… It gets worse and worse. *yawn*

  6. If only we had indeed been spared more of Tom Cruise in ’87… it would have been so magical…

  7. i didn’t watch this year but i’m pretty sure i watched your coverage year. i love paul newman, but i didn’t think he deserved an oscar for that movie, guess it was to make up for when he got robbed previous years.

  8. Neil, either you have the most fantastic memory in all of mankind, or you’re hiding one hell of a My Little Pony diary that you wrote in diligently 20 years ago.

  9. Nice twist. Can you jump back to 1967 next?

  10. thanks for the 1987 update, neil. i was still in college, and probably stoned during the broadcast. marlee martin is hot, but not with that hair. chevy chase was the best host ever — next to dave letterman.

  11. Yours is better, Neil! Oy, Chevy Chase was really the host? That’s way worse than 1957’s Jerry Lewis. I remember the excitement when Marlee Matlin won but knew she’d never get another decent film role.

  12. Props on the mention in the Times of London–this entry had me cracking up heartily!

  13. You didn’t miss anything.

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