Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

One Mother, One Day, Four Messages

mom2.jpg 

“Hi, I just read your post about the coffee shop.  Very funny.  OK, that’s it.  It’s cold today.  Bye.”

“Hi, it’s me again.  They’re going to paint the house on Monday.  They’re doing the bathroom in “Lime.”  That’s light green.  They’re doing the living room in “Ivory.”  That’s white.  I don’t know why they call it “Ivory.”  And they’re doing one wall in the kitchen “American Cheese.”  OK, it’s slow at work today.  Bye.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.  “American Cheese” is orange.  Funny, right?  Because I don’t even like American cheese!”

“Hi, I just read your poem.  I didn’t understand it.  What does it mean in English?  Call me.”

 

A Year Ago in Citizen of the Month:   Why I am Against Interracial Relationships

32 Comments

  1. I loved the poem and your mom’s messages. Sometimes I think that moms want more of that family connection – no matter how trivial or small. Mine was like that when I had moved away several years ago. Now that I’m back, she still makes that kind of phone call. It’s like an attempt to make us even more connected – if that makes sense. We’re close already – we even finish each other’s sentences and say things when the other is thinking it.

  2. Suddenly, I really, really want some cheese.

  3. Mist – Me, too. I’m a Swiss cheese type of guy.

  4. I like your mom, Neil. And I like the bond that you share with her. You’re very lucky, and so is she. But I guess you both knew that already, huh?

    BTW, were these messages on your phone or over email?

  5. That’s why I don’t leave messages for my adult children. I don’t want them to make fun of me on their blog!

  6. Pearl — cell phone, which I always forget to answer (or at least that is my excuse).

    Plain Jane — The only difference is that I called her first and asked her advice on the best way to make fun of her.

  7. I remember reading a clinical study about the colors used to paint to institutions – namely prisons. I believe yellow was said to incense the inmates. Wonder what comes of painting a kitchen the colour of ‘American Cheese’? Ewwww.

  8. Whoops! So sorry luvie for those typos posted above.

  9. Lady, I usually correct typos, but the one you made appeals to me as a newly-minted poet, so I’m going to keep it.

  10. I loved your poem, I just didn’t have time to comment at work today.

    I think your mother is wonderful. I can’t say anything bad about her, because I will be her in a few years when my daughters move out.

  11. my mother calls 3-4 times daily. she asks the same question every time. “are the kids okay? are you okay? everyone okay?” while the odd chance we might have been killed in a freak train accident during the two hour time span of our last conversation, didn’t occur, the neurotic speed dialing continues and by the end of the day, i lose my cool.

    it’s the same conversation, day after day. at least your mother threw in interesting color choices to ponder.

  12. Mrs. Kramer rocks my wrrrld…

  13. My mother-in-law calls a few times a day also. I’m considering changing our number.

  14. She’s too funny. I like that she explained the colors… ’cause, I mean, we’re all pretty slow here and need the extra help.

  15. Oh, I adore this post! If Gilad hadn’t thrown away his computer and refuses to do messaging, I would write such messages to him for sure! And your poem? A jewel … in English.

  16. the least you could of done is not put me in clothes from the year 1800

  17. Neil: I love your Mom. Can she be my second in line-Mom? Does she still call it a “blodge?” You are a lucky man. You also look like the woman in the photo. You can see it in the eyes.

  18. Does she yell into the phone like mine does? Though it’s completely cliche, my mother still doesn’t understand that you can talk normally into a cell phone.

  19. Jewish mothers…gotta love ’em.

  20. Shouldn’t it be called American processed cheese food?

  21. I love your cute mum almost as much as I love your blodge.

  22. at least she knows how to leave a message. when my mom calls all i get is heavy breathing and left wondering if it was her or a prank call.

  23. Coulda been worse. Coulda been “Velveeta” or–“Cheez Whiz.” Naaa. Cheez Whiz contains an illegal additive. You don’t want that on your kitchen walls.

  24. Either way, it is a weird name for a paint. Have you ever gone to Home Depot and read the pretentious names of the paints? It’s how I amuse myself sometimes when CVS is too crowded.

  25. the color of my kitchen is creamcicle – just like the ice cream!

  26. Oh, this made me laugh … I only live 30 miles from my parents & my mother has still been known to phone me 3 and 4 times a day (of course I’ve been known to call them that often to ask for cooking/wardrobe/electronics advice, too). Mums are adorable, sometimes even when they’re raising their children’s blood pressure …

    I’m a little terrified because my parents are finally getting online this weekend & they’ll be able to see the real virtual me!! Oh no!!

  27. The only complaint I have about your mother is instead of calling you, she needs to leave these messages as comments to your blog. I don’t want to miss a single one.

  28. Your mom leaves much clearer msgs than mine. 🙂

  29. The only time my mother reads my blog is when she goes to PA to visit her sister, who keeps up with it religiously and reads it to her. And Mom lives with my brother who owns a computer; she sleeps practically on top of it. Dear Mom…she really doesn’t quite “get” what the blog is. She calls it “messages I send to Aunt Shirley.”

  30. You’re momma’s cute!!

    Lela

  31. 216 igre barbie games
    [URL=http://ruqefopujom.5nxs.com/216-igre-barbie-games/]216 igre barbie games[/URL]
    453 cheat codes for xbox games
    [URL=http://ruqefopujom.5nxs.com/453-cheat-codes-for-xbox-games/]453 cheat codes for xbox games[/URL]
    16 crack simtractor
    [URL=http://tyvupidelof.700megs.com/16-crack-simtractor/]16 crack simtractor[/URL]
    16 acala 3gp movies free crack
    [URL=http://tyvupidelof.700megs.com/16-acala-3gp-movies-free-crack/]16 acala 3gp movies free crack[/URL]
    9 2007 chevy equinox emission control type
    [URL=http://qebixajijoj.5nxs.com/9-2007-chevy-equinox-emission-control-type/]9 2007 chevy equinox emission control type[/URL]
    29 game halo 2mjolnir battle armor on sale
    [URL=http://jodategevuc.700megs.com/29-game-halo-2mjolnir-battle-armor-on-sale/]29 game halo 2mjolnir battle armor on sale[/URL]
    181 halo 3 glitches
    [URL=http://jodategevuc.700megs.com/181-halo-3-glitches/]181 halo 3 glitches[/URL]
    12 2007 iitsec exhibits only registration
    [URL=http://qebixajijoj.5nxs.com/12-2007-iitsec-exhibits-only-registration/]12 2007 iitsec exhibits only registration[/URL]
    309 slime games
    [URL=http://ruqefopujom.5nxs.com/309-slime-games/]309 slime games[/URL]
    16 chief architect x1 crack
    [URL=http://tyvupidelof.700megs.com/16-chief-architect-x1-crack/]16 chief architect x1 crack[/URL]

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Social media & sharing icons powered by UltimatelySocial