Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Who is REALLY the Sexiest Man Alive?

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(Matthew McConaughey in People Magazine)

Please vote!  This survey is written and administered exclusively by Neilochka. Results also tabulated by Neilochka.

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Today in Blogebrity — Star Effer: Man Finds True Love Through the Beaver (his site)

80 Comments

  1. Adding yourself in there is pretty unfair to the rest of them. They don’t get a chance now, do they?

  2. what will you be on the cover of if you win?

  3. I gave you my vote because you all look the same to me.

  4. decisions… decisions…
    this is a hard one….

  5. If this were a contest about who has the whitest teeth, you would win hands down.

  6. I actually VOTED in that People survey. And I picked Matthew {sigh!}.

    But a real man will ALWAYS be sexier than any celebrity! So my vote goes to Neilochka…
    Namaste.
    ~HDJ

  7. Sorry Neil but I had to go with patrick Dempsey. I am glued to my tv every Sunday night to watch him and Isaiah Washington

  8. Very cute!
    I wonder what Sophia will do now that she’s married to the sexiest man alive!!?

  9. Why’d you put yourself at the bottom of that heap, Neil? Get back on top, man!!!

    BTW, it just occurred to me that “Neilochka” sounds like a stage name for a male exotic dancer. Maybe that name will actually help you win this Who’s the Sexiest? contest.

  10. Since you are accessible to me as all of the others I had to go with the one that I’ve lusted for the longest, George Clooney. What can I say, I’m loyal.

    Tanisha, I’m totally with you on the Dr. McDreamy.

  11. Brilliant marketing, Neil. Brilliant.

  12. Mirror mirror on the wall.

    Your list sucks: where’s Paul Newman?

  13. oh neil, no contest…

    wait, is owen wilson your brother??? (then that would actually make you brothers with luke, and i think there’s another, but you look like you could be related in those pictures…or maybe it’s just the brady bunch-like layout.)

  14. neil, the choice was ez considering u make me laugh and i haven’t tired of seeing yer face on the cover of the enquirer detailing all yer barroom nanny antics. and glasses make me weak 😉

  15. Thank you everyone who so far has voted for me. Patrick Dempsey called and requested that he be taken off the list, saying that he doesn’t deserve the title and he’s gay. So, Tanisha, please vote again, this time picking the CORRECT answer. Remember, my stats tell me who everyone VOTES FOR.

  16. “Patrick Dempsey called and requested that he be taken off the list, saying that he doesn’t deserve the title and he’s gay”…such words are like a dagger through my heart. Have you read me latest post? Patrick was my dream boyfriend. I even tried to conjure him naked wearing only oven mitts. Say it isn’t so!

  17. What? No Ewan McGregor??? Boooo…

  18. Ewan McGregor looks like a potato.

  19. Be careful, sexy Neilochka. Your days of being able to visit the 7-11 for a Mountain Dew and a can of dip unmolested may be drawing to a close…

  20. Well, I’m actually hot for Matthew baby…been hot for him for a long time but since I happen to like your blog, I’ll vote for you….just this one time.

  21. I realize that there are more important things for me to worry about, of course, but this has been nagging me for a while and I am going to take this opportunity to get it off my chest. There is just something, I don’t know what, about People magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive feature that irritates me. My bone of contention is this: how can the sexiest man alive be different from one year to the next? If the honor bestowed was called the Sexiest Man of the Year I could understand the passing parade [notice how cleverly I worked that in] of celebrity hunks that grace People’s cover, but presumably the sexiest man alive remains that way until he is dead, whereupon he is replaced by some other person. The operative word in this honorific is alive, which keeps the competition to the quick and eliminates the chances of such historical studs as Casanova, Julius Caesar, and Jimmy Carter. But there can hardly be competition among the living for this title since whoever had it first, assuming he is still alive, is still the sexiest man alive, the title describing an absolute state in which the person involved is either experiencing the state in question or they are not experiencing the state in question, as one does when one goes to sleep while driving on the New Jersey Turnpike. Just as there are no not pregnant women ready to give birth or any fifteenth century Carthusian monks planning to win tango contests next year in Buenos Aires, there can be only one sexiest man alive at any one time; the rest are fakes, poseurs, and charlatans, when they are not actually Charlie Sheen. People subscribers, the innocent victims of this outrageous fraud, should demand their money back forthwith and immediately cancel their subscriptions.

  22. You just had to throw Kanye into the mix. It makes it that much harder to make a decision. I mean, Kanye man, Kanye. But since Kanye doesn’t read my blog, I’ll have to go with you by default.

  23. I’m trying to decide:
    -did Neil exclude Viggo on purpose to tickle Brooke, or
    -since voting for any nominee will land you Neil himself anyway, his exclusion of Viggo is in fact Broke’s butt-licking(not that anything’s wrong with that)

    ???

  24. Some of your readers want you to post a full body shot or short movie.

  25. It was close between you and George Clooney, but he’s been reading my blog longer than you have, so I had to go with him.

  26. I agree with Akaky, People needs to change the wording on that..

    You got my vote Neil but you best be prepared for the onslot of media attention.

  27. Akaky — As usual, your logic is impeccable. You must write that comment to People Magazine just to see if they print it. Either that, or we must kill off this year’s winner in order to ready ourselves for next year’s sexiest man alive.

  28. Ok, I did vote for you first (natch) but then voted a second time for Dr. McDreamy. I’m sorry, it’s a weakness.

  29. Hello? Heath Ledger? Geezuz. Since he’s not there, I guess I’ll go with you.

  30. Ooh Akaky…you’re so right on that one. Maybe they should have a Sexiest Man Dead contest, too. Think of the nomination potential!! I’m kind of liking Jake Gyllenhaal. Maybe you could post a pic of yourself in full Marine cammies for me, Neil?? Make sure you’re wearing your kevlar, too. Mmm mmm.
    ~L.

  31. We need to see a new picture of you, Neil. I mean, what if that’s a really horrible picture and we’re missing out on seeing the Sexiest Man EVER? Or what if you’ve gained 100 pounds since that picture? We need to really see what we’re dealing with here.

  32. Neil I even fuckin’ voted for you…I would rather meet you than any of those fuckheads. Oh btw…my new site is http://www.sournews.com

  33. I dunno, Akaky.
    Your logic assumes that a man’s sexiness is a static phenomenon. I disagree. Rather, sexiness or the state of being sexy, is dynamic and shifts according to myriad factors. These include:

    Age, Physical condition, Recent hit TV show or movie, Recent relationship with controversial sexy woman, Public definitions of sexiness, Shifts in the opinions of the “vote for sexy men” public, etc.

    Thus, one man MAY very well be the “sexiest man alive” at any one point in time. But, like most good things, that is subject to change.

    For instance, in the People Survey I voted for Matthew. However, on taking a better look at Neilochka and Daniel Dae Kim, I think either of them is sexier than Matthew.

    Namaste,
    ~HDJ

  34. Hmm, Neil. This is tough. You clearly have the coolest glasses.

  35. Flashy good looks fade and I’m a firm believer that smart beats good looking every time!

  36. official (blog) sexiest man alive and you love double doubles. if i ever go gay, i got my sights set on you, buddy.

  37. You’re winning by a landslide!! 🙂
    Ssshhhh… ..I voted for you Neil!

    ;-)3T

  38. Since Neilochka is the only one I might actually have a chance at meeting, I had to vote for him. Even though I have a soft spot for Jake after seeing his butt in Jarhead!!
    haha

  39. Hmm, these are the only choices? Give me Tom Welling, Ewan McGregor, and Viggo (though I concede he is sexier with the middle earth look)…

  40. Of course I voted for you Neil. That wasn’t me voting for George Clooney. Nope. Not me. No way. Nope.

  41. wait a min… We don’t get a choice do we? Cause even though I have a special place in my heart for Neilochka, MM just makes me all slobbery and giggly.

  42. Yes, HDJ, but the problem with your logic is that life is a state of being and not an activity, as someone smarter than me once put it. If People said the Sexiest man of the year, then all would be well, but to say the sexiest man alive is to use an absolute in a conditional manner; something cannot be more unique than something else or someone cannot be somewhat omnipotent: something is either unique or it isnt or someone is omnipotent or they are not. An absolute state does not admit gradations; an absolute is or it isnt, and if it isnt, it isnt absolute. Therefore, the first sexiest man alive is still the sexiest man alive, unless he’s dead, whereupon someone else becomes the sexiest man alive.

  43. Herein lies the problem with your argument, Akaky: if Sean Connery were the sexiest man alive 30 years ago, he could be ousted by a man born one day after his election.

    Yes, “sexiness” is a state of being. But the definition of what constitutes “sexiness” is a matter of public opinion. And, as you have brilliantly explained in your own post, opinion and even the definition of what might constitute, say, a “liberal” changes dynamically.
    Namaste
    ~HDJ

  44. You know, I voted once (George Clooney) and the results came out with Neil on top, then I came back later to see how things were progressing and all I can say is… THIS THING IS RIGGED! There are no dangling chads but by god the blog Supreme Court (consisting of Neil since it’s his blog) is going to put in whomever they like! We the people were robbed I tell you!

  45. Is a dangling chad a requirement for this honor, I wonder?

  46. this poll is rigged!

    😉 sizz

  47. Maybe I should do the Sexiest Woman Alive and put myself in there and see what people do. Yeah, that’s a good idea!

  48. I completely agree, Matthew is OUT! Now, as to who I am going to vote for… that is going to take some thinking… er, staring at the screen… for a while… 🙂

  49. Oh hey, your picture is in there! Haha!

    Well, that made my decision easy then. 😉

  50. Nice try NEil.. Ain’t gonna happen then I’d be accused of hitting on you… And if he’s gay I’m gay…

  51. Neil, I’m voting for you…but can I write in a Jon Stewart nomination, please?

  52. Neil, Just so ya now, I voted for you TWICE!

  53. How dare you put an “X” through my man!!!! I’ll take you second though! Loved it!

  54. Neilochka Neilochka! A thousand times Neilochka!

  55. Do you only have one photo of yourself Neil?

  56. At least Patrick Dempsey is second.

  57. When I bought that issue of People over the weekend, I kept flipping through the pages wondering where you were, Neil. And Pauly D, too.

  58. Sexiest “Jewish” man alive…you, hands down, Neil. But I have to go with Patrick “Dr. McDreamy” Dempsey overall.

  59. I’m disheartened. Disappointed. Disaffected! I can’t believe I’m not on the list – I’m svelte! I have cool glasses (depending on what year this is). Yet I can’t vote for me! Is it because a beer belly doesn’t suit a skinny guy? I’ll do sit ups!

    By the way, you’ll notice the importance of facial hair and glasses! I have both!!!

  60. As a student of polling, statistics, and online surveys, I find it extremely interesting that the percentages remained pretty stable throughout the day, with Neilochka maintaing a commanding lead as “sexiest man alive” with men, women, and others.

    My new perfume, Neilochka, will be out soon for the Holiday season. Exclusively at Walgreens.

    “Smell sexy, smell Neilochka.” Give it to all your loved ones.

  61. Yawn, tell me something I dun know!! Isn’t it an undisputed fact Neilochka is the sexiest man/blogger in the world??

    If not, what else could be the reason for me to return day in day out to this blog???!!! The stuffs he writes?? PLEEEEEZ!

  62. How dare you! George, hands down. That’s blasphemy.

  63. If I told anyone they smelled like neilochka they’d probably go and take a shower and see if they couldn’t wash it off.

  64. You ever see those Axe commercials? Now imagine smelling like the sexiest man alive. The blogosphere has spoken.

  65. Yes!!!!! The one I picked is in the lead!!!

  66. Hold up and wait a minute. Why don’t I see Michael’s picture? His picture should be up there. Michael Jackson is the sexiest man on the planet.

  67. Are you sure you’re not voting for the wrong year — say, 1985?

  68. Patrick is by far the sexiest…he’s not afraid of being married and committed. He’s not afraid to be a great father. He’s not afraid to keep moving on no matter how Hollywood has treated him, he’s not afraid even though he’s had personal adversity such as Dyslexia, He’s made personal investments that has made him and his family is secure financially….what more do we need. Now that’s what I call a MAN….white teeth don’t cut it!

  69. Lilly — Patrick Dempsey is absolutely perfect. Except for his divorce after seven years of marriage to actress Rocky Parker, a woman twenty-seven years his senior; who already had a son a year older than Dempsey. So, he’s not afraid of being married and committed — at least TWICE. Are you sure you don’t want to change your vote to me?

  70. i dnt reely think ne of them r reely sexy i voted orlando cz es the best one their but y do people think george clooney is actualy sexy i think es an old man uurgh disgusting! xx

  71. what?! No Johnny Depp?!!? He is truley the sexiest man alive. In my eyes, at least.

  72. THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE IS BRANDON ROUTH, NO MAN CAN COMPARE TO THOSE SEXY HOT PIERCING EYES. THAT SEXY SMILE AND THAT HOT BODY. SAY WHAT YOU WANT BARNDON ROUTH IS THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE

  73. I give a nom to Jon Stewart! It HAS to be said. He’s the sexiest man alive every year in my eyes!

  74. MICHAEL JACKSON is and always was (to me) the sexiest man alive…
    not only has he a sexy body but also a sexy voice and such an amount of talent which makes him even more sexy.
    I love him no matter what…

  75. MICHAEL JACKSON IS THE SEXIEST AND MOST AMAZING MAN ALIVE HE IS SO TALENTED SEXY LOVING CARING KIND SOULFUL PERSON TO EVER WALK THIS EARTH THANK YOU

  76. Christian Bale is by far the most
    sexiest man alive. Just look at his past achievements….ex. (3:10 To Yums)
    I hope my vote counts in your numeration of canidates…..

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