Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Jonny Kops — Remember That Name!

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(photos by Lawrence K. Ho/LAT)

Let’s admit it.   We all want to hang out with the hipsters.  To be where the cool people are. 

Even the stodgy LA Times.  Why else would the Los Angeles Times do a Page One story yesterday on Mark "The Cobra Snake" Hunter, a blogger famous for taking photos of hipsters at cool parties and posting them on his website, The Cobra Snake?

With evident glee, Mark "The Cobra Snake" Hunter bypasses a long door line and climbs the steps to the packed upstairs level of the Hollywood club Cinespace, his digital Canon D20 camera at his side.

As soon as Hunter and his two female friends are in, hipsters in the crowd reach out to greet him, call out his name, give him high-fives. Hunter is frenetically taking pictures, complimenting strangers on their outfits, searching for the next shot almost before he finishes the first.

It makes the Los Angeles Times look as cool as Sergeant Friday did when he ‘got down’ with the ‘hippies’ in one of the old Dragnet episodes.

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Let’s admit it.  We all want to hang out with the hipsters.  To be where the cool people are. 

Even young music producer Jonny Kops.   For years, Jonny has dreamed of hitting it big.  Sure it’s a tough biz, but if he makes the right connections, goes to the right parties, gets his name out there…

Jonny is at the hip Cinespace when Mark "The Cobra Snake" Hunter bursts in with his Canon D20.  Daniel Hernandez, Times Staff writer, is following their every move:

It is nearing midnight on a typical Tuesday for the city’s most sought after self-made party photographer.

"I’ve met you before, I met you at that party. What was it? The Diesel party?" Hunter asks Jonny Kops, a 25-year-old Brooklyn music producer standing against a wall holding a beer.

Hunter is already snapping his portrait.

"He’s all over the place," Kops says after Hunter disappears to look for another shot. "He’s the Ron Jeremy of photography," a reference to the famously homely porn star.

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Jonny Kops is proud of his witty comment.   He ponders his new found fame.

"Things are going to change now.  I’m gonna be in the LA Times.  Every hipster in town is gonna know my name."

He smiles at a cute blond with fake boobs, who runs past him, waving to Mark "The Cobra Snake" Hunter.

"Take my photo!  Take my photo!  Please!"  she  screams.

Jonny Kops takes a sip of his beer.  Jonny laughs to himself.

"Soon, the women will be running after me.   Once my name is in the paper, every female blogger is gonna wanna fuck me.  Jonny Kops.  Remember that name.  Jonny Kops."

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In today’s LA Times (in small print):

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36 Comments

  1. Oh…. goodness. That’s the greatest thing I’ve ever read. Ever.

  2. Thanks, Neal Cranium, for that very informative post.

  3. Actually, Devo and I are through being cool.

    So there.

  4. Maybe I’m insecure. Maybe I’m shy. I was never hip and I do not wish to hang around these people who will make me even more unhip!! I take comfort in the fellowship of the unhips. lol That’s just me!!

    What about you, Neil?? 🙂

  5. 1st of all Neil, you’re fuckin’ hilarious…and I mean that as i fuckin’ laugh my ass off. I love you very much Neil, and your writing rocks!

    2nd point…I hate the cool people, I hate the hipsters, I love not being associated as a cool person, I’m happy not being that person. I do not hang want to hang out w/ the cool people.. seriously what are we going to talk about….oh hey guys I graduated hs. when I was 15 and I’m 22 going for my masters…check me out I’m uber cool. give me a break.

    Still love ya Neil, still fuckin’ love ya!

  6. I guess I’m going to have to move. Everything cool happens in L.A. (Shit. People probably don’t even use a word like “cool” anymore. But what would a hipster say?)

  7. You gotta love LA. Hmm…he does have a sort of Ron Jeremy quality to him, huh? Just maybe younger, a bit thinner, with a little more hair (but not by much). Lol!

  8. But I thought that hipsters really only lived in New York. Does that mean I should get out on the town and start taking pictures of hipsters in D.C.? Or are congresspeople and senators the hipsters of our town? I’m confused.

  9. I totally made out with Jonny Kops last week. Jonny Kops told me he was famous. Jonny Kops said he was a music producer. Jonny Kops said he wanted to introduce me to the “Cobra Snake.” Now you’re telling me it was all a lie?

  10. *Wishes I was one of the cool kids*

  11. LOL. Great story! Though I must say, just looking at the pictures of the hipsters makes me want to take a nap.(So much energy put into partying and being a hipster)
    :-)3T

  12. does anyone really say hipster anymore? or am I finally so old that the word has arisen from the etymological graveyard to haunt us all again?

  13. LOL – “misidentified as a music producer.” So they decided not to correctly identify him as a cashier at Wendy’s? Even the LA Times has pride, I guess.

    Reminds me of when I was in college and some Indian guy told me he was the DJ Talvin Singh so I’d make out with him (which I did, natch). When I found out he wasn’t I wanted to kill him! No, I don’t miss being young.

  14. hipsters bore me to tears with their narcissism,materialism, name dropping and utter drivel. ugh. count me out. i like to hang out with people who think for themselves.

  15. If you are mentioned in the LA Times, then you must be important. Same goes if your photo appears on the internet. Scary how warped our idea of “celebrity” has become.

    I am a nerd and proud of it!
    Namaste
    ~HDJ

  16. Great Neil! But shouldn’t ever second of our lives be lived out as though waiting for that picture to be snapped or our hip uncovered? Ha, wait, leave my damn hip alone, I need that 😉 I love that second picture too much.

  17. Jonny Kops. Remember the name Introspectre. You will never get to top that. But I appreciate your delusions of grandeur.

  18. Neil, that Cobra guy has to pay you commission for publicity, man. Look how many visitors you’ve sent his way (me included). And oh, boy, those party pictures did stir up memories…different hair, drinks and interiors (well, actually, brick walls and tight jeans haven’t changed) – but same emptyheadedness and wasted, in all senses, energy. Ah, searching for my bra at 4 am among half-corpses and bottles…

  19. Tat — I was wondering whose bra this was hanging on my ceiling fan for all these years.

  20. Hey Miss Sizzle : “hipsters bore me to tears with their narcissism,materialism, name dropping and utter drivel. ugh. count me out”

    So you are the anonymous commenter from this morning… 😀

    Neil, everytime I come here, I leave with a huge smile on my face.

    The first rule of the hipster club : You do not talk about being hip.

  21. I am afraid that the epitome of *hipness* in my life is actually being allowed to comment on Neil’s blog…

  22. You have Blogebrity wrapped around your little finger. Congrats.

  23. The internet is the great equalizer evidently, if that guy can be considered “cool.”

    There’s hope for us all!
    N

  24. I have no idea what you are talking about, SAC.

    Actually, other than the dumb A-B-C lists, the main Blogebrity site is pretty interesting and has some really good links about blogging and bloggers.

  25. Plus, Nick’s a pretty good guy. And I like the lists, personally. Plus, you can always visit an A or B lister for an ego boost, Neil. Few of them get as many comments as you do. Too bad comments aren’t a measure of the blog popularity indices. You’d be an A-lister in no time.

    But then I suppose so would about 4,000 myspace and livejournal teens…

  26. Brando, I thought he was just some college student, but he seems much more knowledgeable than I thought:

    http://www.b5media.com/press-interview-nick-douglas/

    Note to Jonny Kops: Meet this guy!

  27. Wait, is LA cool now? Let me know, cause if it is, I will come visit again and the douche with the camera….looks like he could not get laid with a fistful of hundreds in a brothel. Yeah…he looks so “hip”

  28. The LA Times’ marketing department must be trying to expand a demographic.

    Hey, tomorrow’s Friday. That sounds more exciting than ever.

  29. I was chuckling as I read this until—bam!—third act: full on guffaw.

    That’s right I said guffaw.

  30. Very interesting, Neil. Amusing as usual.

  31. Tell me you didn’t make up the part about them misspelling his name. That has to be true. It just has to be.

    In a perfect world, anyway.

  32. It’s absolutely true. The only thing that wasn’t in the LAT was the stuff going on in Jonny’s head.

  33. […] In other blog news, this might be the funniest thing I’ve ever read. Mmmmm … karma tastes sweet, doesn’t it? […]

  34. […] Neil Kramer covers party-blogger Cobra Snake[…]

  35. Je suis française, mais j’ai entendu parler de ce paparazzi, ces photos sont magnifiques, il a de l’imagination, il ira trés loin ce petit ^^

  36. Fair game to the man.If Paris can make money going to prison,why cant ‘the cobra’gain notoriety for,ummmm taking photos.

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