Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

21st Century Additions to the Dictionary


dooced adjective
having lost your job because of something you have put in an Internet weblog

The word dooced was coined in 2002 by Heather Armstrong, a Los Angeles web designer who lost her job after writing about work colleagues in her personal blog, Her subsequent advice to fellow bloggers is straightforward: ‘Never write about work on the Internet unless your boss knows and sanctions the fact …’

neilochked adjective

when a blogger’s own mother loses her job at a prestigious publishing firm (home of Nobel prize winning authors such as T. S. Eliot, Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, Isaac Bashevis Singer, Czeslaw Milosz, Joseph Brodsky, and Seamus Heaney) after a woman named Sophia convinces her to ask the editor-in-chief to read her son’s blog on the same day that he just happens to post a story about a $3.99 sticker hanging from his cock.

OK, she didn’t really get fired, but nobody asked her to lunch today.  Coincidence?


  1. Poor mom… I’m sure she was hoping to have a son whose dong was worth much more.

  2. “That’s MY son!! He’s so frugal!”

  3. Had you considered telling Sophia that you were so hard up for money that you were selling yourself as a discount male prostitute?

  4. I know that perhaps I shouldn’t laugh…but that’s a great story.

  5. Awww poor Mom! I bet everyone stared at her as she ate by herself too 😉

  6. What?!! That post was GOLDEN! How come they didn’t like that? They just don’t know a good thing when it POPS right up in front of their face with a big red sticker on it, damnit! … jeeeezzzzz!

  7. Neil, can she possibly make that experience any worse. Neil, my heart really goes out to you. 😉

  8. Please tell me that this was 10% true. Your poor momochka.

  9. Neilochked: When a random blogger describes his erect penis and you can’t get the image out of your head.

    e.g. ‘Brandon, you look distracted. Is there something on your mind?’ ‘Well, yeah, I got Neilochked this morning while surfing the web.’ ‘Oooh. You better take the day off. You’re gonna be pretty much useless to the company today.’

  10. By the way, does anyone other than me know who that picture is of?

  11. Oh, that’s not so awful. I’m sure she’s very proud of your celebrity! 🙂

  12. pfft, that’s Minnie Pearl from Hee Haw. Everyone knows that. Right?


  13. and the guy looks like buck owens

  14. Thank you, Brando. I hope that took your mind off of other visual images.

  15. Neil – you should really buy your mother a bouquet of flowers as an apology for… oh wait. Oh god. I just made myself sick.

  16. It’s Minnie Pearl and George Lindsey (who played Goober on Andy Griffith Show) and the truth is that I’m not ashamed….

  17. I can’t pronounce ‘neilochked’. Too many consonants, too close together.

  18. tell your mom i will be at the whole foods on thursday if she needs a lunch date. darn them! they wouldn’t know a good penis sticker story if it hit them in the, well, you know where. (haha, i am actually laughing.)

  19. Anne — that’s exactly what Sophia said. She suggested neilochkeed, but I thought that just sounded crazy.

  20. Neilochka —

    Remember that “Oy” post from earlier?

    Here’s another “Oy” for you:

  21. So what did the editor really think?

  22. I knew that was Minnie Pearl but I didn’t realize that was Goober there (his hand i>is over his mouth. (Thanks for the ID, Bad Maria.)

    btw … That link Sophia left – does this mean you’re a Blogebrity now? (Or does it just mean your manly endowment is?)

  23. haha, poor mom…. You should take her to lunch. Maybe a $3.99 Chinese buffet would be appropriate?

  24. This Pearl will gladly treat Mom to lunch if she’s willing to travel to Toronto…and also willing to put in a good word for me at her prestigious publishing house. I need some more freelance copyediting work! 😉

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