the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

TV is for Babies


The news hit Hollywood hard today.  Despite a slate of new summer series, it was a disappointing summer for the TV networks, with household viewing down 6% compared to last year.

Some cable networks are scrambling for new viewers.  This  morning, the Cartoon Network started a two hour block of programming for preschoolers, even children under a year old.

To tailor the cartoon block to make it more appropriate for young kids, the "Tickle U" block contains no shows longer than 11 minutes (most are closer to five minutes). Commercials are shown only on the half-hour, not between every cartoon.

Advertisers are also very keen on getting their products to this new demographic.

"This is a great advance for all of us in the advertising industry," said Morton Phonyperson, president of the Baby Advertising Council.  "I look forward to the day when babies across America say "Sugar Frosted Flakes" as their first words rather than "Mama, mama."

FOX, seeing potential in this new area of programming, has gone one step further by ordering 13 episodes of "Prenatal P.I.," a procedural drama about a 3 month old fetus who helps her police detective mother solve crimes at a Los Angeles C.S.I. crime lab.


  1. Leesa

    “Prenatal, P.I.”..that is hilarious. I wouldn’t even be surprised.

  2. Nancy French

    Oh man… These kids shows are sometimes so bad anyway. I just shared a house with my sister’s family — her kids watches an episode of “The Wiggles” every 27 minutes and I almost tried to drown myself in the Gulf of Mexico.

  3. introspectre

    What in the crap?

    My 8 year old finds the Tickle U block to be unbearable long and stupid, by the way. He has bitched about it the last two mornings. I think he feels the babies should get their own damn channel or something.

  4. Charlie

    How about some baby reality TV shows, like infant versions of Fear Factor or Survivor? The product placement possibilities are endless. At this rate, pretty soon my sperm will be a coveted advertising demographic.

  5. anonymous city girl

    Is that a baby Neil with the shiney hiney?

  6. Jamie Dawn

    Prenatal P.I. sounds like a hit to me!
    When my kids were little, they were REALLY BIG TIME into Barney. My son’s third b-day was a Barney theme. I hate Barney.

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