Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Sophia vs. Lavalife

fight.jpg

Whenever a couple separates, it is inevitable that one of them is going to take a stab a dating again.  Sophia went to bat first.  She decided to try her luck this weekend on Lavalife, famed for its slogan, “Where Singles Click.” 

Now, Sophia is flamboyant, not only in real life, but in her writing.  She has a literary bent and wasn’t happy just writing a boring ol’  profile.  Instead, at the end of her profile, she wanted to add a tongue in cheek item that I once used for a post a couple of months ago.   Actually, I stole it from her.

Over 15,000 men responded to this sexy personal ad in an Atlanta newspaper:

“SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I’m a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I’ll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Call (404) 875-xxxx and ask for Daisy. I’ll be waiting…”

They found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about an 8 week old black labrador retriever!

Sophia submitted the profile.  A little while later, she received an email saying that her profile had been rejected.  Why?  Because she had written that it was a single BLACK female, and someone from the African-American community might be offended. 

Sophia thought this was silly, but took out the word “black” and resubmitted the profile.  

A few minutes later, she received another email.   Sophia had been rejected again.   This time it was because Sophia used the name “Daisy.”  Lavalife’s rationale:  someone on Lavalife who is named “Daisy” might be insulted by being compared to a dog.

Sophia took out the name “Daisy.”  The “single black female” item was getting less and less funny, but Sophia is not the type to give up easily.  She resubmitted the profile.  Here’s what the humorous item looked like now. 

Over 15,000 men responded to this sexy personal ad in an Atlanta newspaper:

SINGLE FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I’m a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I’ll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Call (404) 875-xxxx and ask for me. I’ll be waiting…

They found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about an 8 week old labrador retriever!

It is rejected again. 

“Thank you for your email.  We have read your profile and see that it was rejected as you mentioned the Atlanta Humane Society in your profile. It seem a bit too specific.”

Sophia emailed a supervisor.  The supervisor suggested that Sophia send the profile to her office directly.  Sophia deleted any mention of Atlanta and emailed it off.   The humorous item now ended like this:

They found themselves talking to the local Humane Society about an 8 week old labrador retriever!

The supervisor sent back an email stating that Sophia cannot mention the Humane Society at all because they are a real organization and they might be offended.

Sophia called me up and we both took a look at the Lavalife site.   We saw photos of naked women.  We saw photos of men showing their erections.  We saw posts about how a guy “will fuck a woman’s brains out.”  This was OK, but it wasn’t OK to tell this stupid joke about Daisy, the black labrador retriever.

Sophia wrote to the Lavalife again.   Lavalife responded:

“Please make the necessary changes to your profiles as soon as possible as this can cause your account to be suspended or removed from the site.”

Sophia finally gave up with this item, but being the creative type, she decided to go for something else — a benign light-hearted quote at the end of the profile:

John McEnroe once said to a woman he was instructing: “Lady, sometimes you just have to stick your racquet out and good things will happen.”

As Sophia emailed Lavalife for the final time, she spoke to me on the phone.

“If this is what online dating is all about, I might just have to get back together with you.”

Just then, Sophia got an email from Lavalife:

“The profile was rejected as your stated the name John McEnroe.

We appreciate that this may not be a real name, it could however,identify someone whose real name it is. So if you could select another nickname that follows this guideline, we can approve that for you. Sorry for the inconvenience.”

8 Comments

  1. wow, who’d think they’d have any morals pushing out the all mighty appeal of the dollar…oh BTW I picked up a bitch with a similar ad (she was a mixed Husky)

  2. Clearly Lavalife has redefined “politically correct”. Tell her to try Match.com. And tell her to tell Lavalife that’s what she is doing.

  3. Good suggestion Brooke!

    I don’t think this has anything to do with morals on Lava Life’s part. I think it is 100% pure fear — of being sued. Losers.

    Good luck getting back together with her Neil — that is apparently what it’s all about! 😉

  4. I just thought it was hilarious, especially the John McEnroe “response.” Are Jdate, Match.com, and the others any better than Lavalife? Everyone complains about them, but then everyone seems to be doing it. I guess I enjoy self-punishment as much as the rest of you. And then, of course, I’ll start a dating blog.

    And whatever happened to the good old days of picking up men in bars?

    (I know, I know, I never go to bars…)

  5. It sounds to me like fate is working to reunite you two. Or maybe not.

  6. Jack’s right. There’s always me, Sophia. Besides your beautiful smile, I am missing our big-screen TV. Have you seen the crappy TV I’m using now? Why do you think I spend some much time on the internet?

  7. Jdate is no better. I had a sentence with the word cocky in it, and they removed the first four letters, leaving me with just y. They don’t even tell you, they just do it.

  8. After trying a number of thise sites, I am taking a brake from the internet dating sites. I have the BEST worst date story ever thanks to Jdate.com.
    I’m gona go post it on my blog if anyone wants to read… it’s to long (and bad) to clog up Neil’s comments.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Social media & sharing icons powered by UltimatelySocial