Neil: “Congratulations to those who have made it through a month of exercise.
I can’t say I was perfect. I reached my goal twice and donated money twice.
I’m definitely going to keep on exercising. How about you?
I’m looking forward to the day when I can rip my shirt off and show you all what exercise has done for my physique.
Since this is your official graduation from Bloggers with Biceps, I’ve invited someone special to hand out your official decals — Governor of California Arnold Schwartzenneger.”
Arnold: “Thank you, Neilochka. I appreciate everything you and your blog do for California’s economy. As I look out at all of you Bloggers with Biceps, I am truly amazed that such a loser bunch of girly-boys and fat-ass women chose to finally do some exercise.
I’m especially glad that a few of you live in California and are choosing to exercise, because having fat people in this state is bad for our reputation. We are supposed to be the mecca of plastic surgery and incredibly thin women like my wife, Maria. Hopefully, on Election Day, California voters will support me by voting in Proposition 184, which builds a wall around the state prohibiting anyone with more than 15% body fat from entering California.
But let’s leave politics for another day. Or like I love to joke, “let’s Terminate this conversation.” Today is all about YOU and your SUCCESS.
May I call to the podium the following bloggers:
The Yearning Heart
Anonymous City Girl
Congratulations all. You have made Neilochka proud.
As you may have noticed, there are two decals attached to this post. Please print them out on some nice paper stock, then iron them onto your favorite denim jacket or jeans. Just don’t put them on the back of your pants because it will just emphasize your big ass. Hey, it’s only been one month. What did you expect — miracles?”
Neil: “Thank you, Governor Schwartzenegger for that incredibly inspirational speech. Doesn’t he look great? He’ll always be Mr. Universe in my book.
Thank you to all the bloggers out there who participated. It made exercise fun. Let’s keep on nudging each other through emails.
Now turn off your computer and get yourself to the gym!”
A Year Ago on Citizen of the Month: Battle of the Cult Stars