the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Bloggers with Biceps – Graduation



Neil:  “Congratulations to those who have made it through a month of exercise. 

I can’t say I was perfect.  I reached my goal twice and donated money twice.

I’m definitely going to keep on exercising.  How about you? 

I’m looking forward to the day when I can rip my shirt off and show you all what exercise has done for my physique.

Since this is your official graduation from Bloggers with Biceps, I’ve invited someone special to hand out your official decals — Governor of California Arnold Schwartzenneger.”

Arnold: “Thank you, Neilochka.  I appreciate everything you and your blog do for California’s economy.  As I look out at all of you Bloggers with Biceps, I am truly amazed that such a loser bunch of girly-boys and fat-ass women chose to finally do some exercise. 

I’m especially glad that a few of you live in California and are choosing to exercise, because having fat people in this state is bad for our reputation.  We are supposed to be the mecca of plastic surgery and incredibly thin women like my wife, Maria.  Hopefully, on Election Day, California voters will support me by voting in Proposition 184, which builds a wall around the state prohibiting anyone with more than 15% body fat from entering California.

But let’s leave politics for another day.  Or like I love to joke, “let’s Terminate this conversation.”  Today is all about YOU and your SUCCESS. 

May I call to the podium the following bloggers:

Dating Dummy
Edgy Mama
The Yearning Heart
Anonymous City Girl
Plain Jane

Congratulations all.  You have made Neilochka proud.

As you may have noticed, there are two decals attached to this post.  Please print them out on some nice paper stock, then iron them onto your favorite denim jacket or jeans.  Just don’t put them on the back of your pants because it will just emphasize your big ass.  Hey, it’s only been one month.  What did you expect — miracles?”

Neil:  “Thank you, Governor Schwartzenegger for that incredibly inspirational speech.   Doesn’t he look great?  He’ll always be Mr. Universe in my book. 

Thank you to all the bloggers out there who participated.  It made exercise fun.  Let’s keep on nudging each other through emails. 

Now turn off your computer and get yourself to the gym!”

A Year Ago on Citizen of the Month:  Battle of the Cult Stars


  1. the Yearning Heart

    I would like to thank my bicycle, my water bottle and the frequent 95° F + heat that Texas is so famous for.
    I would also like to thank Neil for having the foresight and girly-manliness, not to mention the big ass, that makes this sort of event necessary.
    I would also like to thank [orchestra music swells as my voice fades out, leggy blonde in gold lamé gown pulls me from microphone]

  2. Fitèna

    *clap clap clap*
    Thank you, thank you, thank you!
    *claps fade*
    Thank you. This means a lot to me. I must say, I was very sceptic when I first read Neil’s project. But look at the result *I whirl in my new black dress*.
    Not only have I lost the weight I’ve forever been trying to lose but I also lost my phobia of dresses. *clap clap* thank you! Thank you Neil. i shall have thedecal tootoed on…*mike sound cut off*


  3. V-Grrrl

    I’m busy making flight reservations before Gov. Arnold bars me and my expat fat from visiting California.

    (Personally, I think his wife looks like Skeletor. She could use some Belgian chocolate to keep her bones from sawing through her skin….)

    Thanks for the laugh Neil. Great way to start the day.

  4. Paris Parfait

    My favourite bit was the governor thanking you for what you and your blog have done for the California economy. Congrats on keeping up the exercise (more or less). Your Crush of the Day (I’m so thrilled to be able to say that and have acknowledged your excellent taste on my blog)! xo

  5. jenny

    Wow – congratulations everyone! But what’s the difference between the Presidential and the National Physical Fitness awards? Is one better? Because that’s the one I’m going to print out and sew to my bookbag, pretending that I actually participated.

    Just try and stop me!

  6. MA

    Does this mean we can stop now? Just kidding! Keep up the good work, Neil.

  7. Kevin

    You wanna know what’s really sad? I work in a gym part time and it was still a pain in the ass to get through this. You’d think it would be easy considering the above fact, but I never get to work out while working. That and I see the gym enough while working there that the last place I want to be on my off time is back there. But I did, somehow, manage.

  8. justrun

    I know I’m not in the “group” but I’ve been right there with you this whole time. Congratulations, buff ones.

  9. ams


    less flabby abs mean more ass grabs!!

  10. cruisin-mom

    Well, if I had known that Arnold was giving the awards, I would have gotten my big ass off the couch too.

  11. Jenni

    DAMNIT! I totally should have participated since I go to the gym anyway…can I still print off a patch and have it sewn to my GAP jean jacket?

  12. Roberta

    It’s been an honor just to sit on my ass and mentally kibutz.

  13. Alison

    This is my first fitness award, EVER! Woo-hoo! Thanks for providing the inspiration, Neilochka.

    My Curves measuring day comes at the end of the week. We’ll see how much I’ve whittled off. There is a difference. 🙂

  14. Caitlinator

    Yay! I can’t believe it’s been a month already. I added my own twist to keep me going, and it involves clothing store gift certificates for every weight loss goal I achieve. I’ve already achieved phase one, thanks to you! Hooray!

  15. Trixie

    Keep going, Neil! I’m very proud of you and your fellow bloggers with biceps. Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to go to the bar, eat a cheeseburger, drink a beer and smoke a cigarette.

  16. amanda


  17. Peggy Archer


    I’ll still keep working out, and I’m happy that everyone made it through!

  18. plain jane

    Neil, I’m happy to say that my knees have improved from the power yoga. Thank you.

    I slacked this week, I had family visiting for my daughter’s college graduation (props to Peach!!)–another donation.

  19. Dagny

    Congratulations ot all of you. I’ll think of you all as I continue to sit on my butt with remote control in hand.

  20. Tara

    I didn’t participate because I’m terrified of gyms and I already have a running addiction I’ve never been able to kick.

    When I was younger I had the presidential physical fitness award signed by Ford, Carter and Reagan. THAT’S how old I am. Is the national physical fitness award the newer version?

  21. Elisabeth

    Damn. I just rejoined the gym yesterday.

  22. jules

    Neil – Where did you find these decals? I think I have one in a scrapbook from 5th grade when you had to do the flexarm hang and the 50 yard dash, plus a bunch of other stuff – how funny!
    I think I need to focus more on the biceps part of this deal though…

  23. 2nd Pearl at the Post

    lol. Bloggers with bicepts. I’ll aim to be at next year’s convocation.

  24. 2nd Pearl at the Post

    biceps even.

  25. schrodinger

    I got the presidential award in grade school – I’m curious as to what I really had to do to get it…hmm…or is it one of those ‘everyone who goes to gym gets one’ thing?
    I’ve made up for it since with a plethora of cake and cookies.

  26. sarah

    congratulations to all you lean, mean, george foreman grilling machines!

    now i feel fat. oh well.

  27. Jacynth

    My biceps can take all ya’ll to the schoolyard. Bring it.

  28. Margaret

    Rather than going to the gym, could I become a Bloggers with Biceps groupie?

  29. mrsmogul

    OH NO I missed the participation!!! WAHH NO BADGE!!!

  30. mrsmogul

    when i figure out bloglines i will subscribe to you so I don’t miss out!

  31. neil

    I just arrived in New York, and I’m using dial-up (!). No exercise today, but I did eat some really good pizza in Flushing. Does that count?

  32. Wendy

    Congratulations to you all!

  33. Kestrel

    Ok, so you just made me feel majorly guilty for ordering a pizza, lol.

    I’m still going to eat it though, no sense in wasting money right? No. That would be morally WRONG.

  34. Rae

    Congrats too, reading the posts just wears me out, guess I need to get into shape.

  35. Erin

    i may not have been working out, but i cut my ice cream consumption down to 5 times a week. that has to count for something…

  36. danielle

    If I had known about the patch, I totally would have been in!

  37. better safe than sorry

    i can see the results already.

  38. Dating Dummy

    Thank you Ahnold, thank you! But really, this award should really belong to Neilochka, who, without his prodding and bulging biceps, would not have made this possible. 🙂

  39. introspectre

    What? Where’s my call? I busted my ass for nothing but this fine incredible looking ass? Sheesh.

  40. mags

    Thanks for keeping me honest, Neil. It’s been a good month. Now, what do I do about next month?? 😉


  41. Edgy Mama

    Hurrah! My biceps are (slightly) bigger.

    Thank you, Neilochka. Are we going to get to see a photo of your new and improved heinie?

  42. wordgirl

    Hey…I earned the President’s Physical Fitness Award in 7th and 8th grades. I still have the patches!! I promise not to wear them on my ass.

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