the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Christmas Movie Pitch

“I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”

Premise:  So many parents today feel that they are “lying” to their kids if they tell their kids that there really is a Santa Claus, so a generation of children are growing up without the magic of Christmas in their hearts.  This is a movie to change all that.  What if a young boy learned that Santa Claus WAS real — very real — and presented him with the greatest adventure of his life?!

Plot:   Perfect A-student Ben goes to sleep on Christmas Eve, believing that Santa Claus is a myth and that his parents will be putting gifts for him under the Costco-bought Christmas tree.  But when Ben wakes up in the middle of the night, he learns that Santa is VERY real, especially when he sees his frustrated stay-at-home mother kissing Santa Claus under the mistletoe.  Ben, furious at his mother’s betrayal, takes revenge on her by setting up his hopelessly unemployed father with the vivacious Mrs. Claus, but danger looms when she turns out to be a sex freak and terrorist with ties to Al-Qaeda.  After Ben’s father is kidnapped to North Korea and tortured as a spy, Ben must team up with his mother, Santa Claus, the reindeer, and special Mossad agent Hermie “The Dentist” in the greatest roller-coaster holiday adventure of them all – to save his father, his family, and the Free World from the clutches of an evil regime, culminating in a final battle for the North Pole.  In 3D.


  1. Sue Fisher

    Neil, you rock my world.

  2. Varda (SquashedMom)

    What? They didn’t make this one already? I could have sworn I saw it on TNT at 3 AM the other night.

  3. Elly Lou

    The only thing missing is a talking labradoodle capable of Jedi mind tricks.

  4. Stacie

    I want Angelina Jolie to play Mrs. Claus. Hey – spy sex freak. It plays to her strengths!

  5. ingrid

    you know i love you, right?

  6. Danny

    If you could make this film I guarantee it would be a huge hit! I was impressed at your movie poster skills but then I saw that this really was a film (with a much less exciting plot). Corbin Bernsen and Connie Selleca. Oy.

  7. Heather

    Neil, did you see Momma kissing Santa Claus?


  8. fizzgig

    When will this one be out? I’m tired of the 10 that are playing all the time now, about the neighbors competing with decorating and xmas lights. yawn….

  9. Karen

    If only. You should pitch it, with Nicolas Cage, Angelina Jolie, and Bad Santa Himself…Billy Bob Thorton. Now THAT’S a Christmas Movie!

  10. Nancy Davis Kho

    I used to review straight-to-video kid movie sequels and “very special holiday movies” featuring TV characters for a kid’s media website. If ONLY this had crossed the transom, I wouldn’t have had to quit.

  11. teahouseblossom

    Brilliant! Now go and write the screenplay and get rich and famous!!!

  12. Holmes

    This has porn written all over it.

  13. V-Grrrl @ Compost Studios

    Billy Bob Thornton as Santa would totally get me in the theater–but only if he sings in at least one scene.

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