the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

I Write

I write to share my wisdom arising from my life experience. My words are like the rain, and you are like the soil, and when my nourishment satisfies your thirst for knowledge, you grow tall, like the grass and the flowers and the mightiest of trees. I write to educate you, to guide you to greatness. Once you were lowly, but after reading my words, you will be flying with the eagles in the clouds!

I write to lie, to make up shit, to come up with ridiculous statements like the first paragraph because I can imagine some asshole really writing that nonsense, and it makes me laugh.

I have no idea why I write. I’ve always written.

I write to clarify things in my own head.

I write to remember things.

I write to express love without having to say it out loud.

I write to imagine myself as other people, like an actor.

I write to be the real me, because, in real life, I am TOO much of an actor.

I write to impress girls so they will fall in love with him.

I write because writing is powerful, and I don’t own a gun.

I write just to amuse one person, who I know will get the joke.

I write because I don’t have a choice.

I write because good writers turn me on more than naked Playboy bunnies, and writing well is the only way I know to get them to talk to me.

I write to waste time.

I write to hide.

I write to be passive/aggressive in a cowardly way, and then feel guilty about it.

I write to be political, but not often enough.

I write to be truthful to others, because I rarely get a chance to be truthful in my daily life.

I write to force myself to stop lying… to myself.

I write because I’m not very good at football.

I write because when I read books, I’m always saying, “I can do better than that!”

I write because you can’t masturbate in Starbucks, but they do allow you to bring your laptop, so it gives me something to do while drinking coffee.


  1. Mad Woman

    I particularly like the very last one!!

  2. Twenty Four At Heart

    I write to be truthful to others, because I rarely get a chance to be truthful in my daily life.

    You need to change that sentence. It should say: I write to be truthful to others, because I rarely CHOOSE to be truthful in my daily life.

    Your welcome. XO
    Signed: Your Shrink

  3. sas

    aren’t you concerned about spilling coffee on yourself while indulging in ‘gentleman time’?

    writing is just safer.

  4. Deannie

    I miss writing for so many of these reasons. When this depression hit, I have felt robbed of my soul at times, ripping out the very foundations of creativity.

    So, I think you need to add another bullet point: I write because I haven’t lost the joy of living.

  5. V-Grrrl @ Compost Studios

    Writing is like solving a puzzle for me. The puzzle is me. The puzzle is not me. Sometimes the puzzle is simply a captured View. Two-dimensional. Three-dimensional. Sometimes I like to snap words together–for fun, for pay, for release, for understanding, for connection, just because I can, just because I should. Just because.

  6. Pearl

    Neil, Neil, Neil.

    That’s all I have to write.

  7. Heather

    You write because it’s as important to your soul as air.

  8. Finn


  9. Chris

    All valid reasons. I’m just glad you do it. 🙂

    I write for some of those reasons… and because my sixth grade teacher and my tenth grade teacher complimented my writing and my thoughts. Meant the world to me.

  10. Mamie

    And I, for one, am very glad for all those reasons.

    They are why we read.

  11. headbang8

    “I write to express love without having to say it out loud.”

    If you don’t say it out loud, to the person you love, you haven’t expressed it. You’ve just talked about it.

  12. Christy

    I like it (that first paragraph made me laugh too…mostly because I’ve been known to be dramatic at times, and then I’m all, “yes, you might need medication!”)

  13. slouchy


  14. Jack

    I write because you can’t masturbate in Starbucks

    Sure you can, you should see the tapes from the Starbucks bathroomm. Uh, maybe I shouldn’t talk about that.

  15. this new place


  16. Kelly

    If they didn’t want you doing ‘that’ at Starbucks they wouldn’t have a ‘Two Tailed Hippy Siren’ on their logo…so distracting.

  17. Juli Ryan

    “I have no idea why I write. I’ve always written.” Me too.

  18. Miss Grace

    I write to get everything out of my head and deposited elsewhere.

    I write to connect.

    I write to entertain.

    I write to figure-it-out.

  19. Momo Fali

    You live in a big city. I’m sure there’s a coffee shop where you can indulge yourself.

    Everything else, however, I’ll buy.

  20. deb

    You’re like the rest of us, or we’re like you, can’t decide.

  21. nic @mybottlesup

    i don’t get you neil. and the verdict is still out on whether or not i want to. meh.

  22. Blaiser

    You write the songs that make the whole mommy-blogger world sing…….

  23. Gwen

    I feel so tall and nourished now; soaring even.

    But maybe that was just the Swiss cheese I had for lunch.

  24. Sarcastica

    LOL, I needed that 😉 last statement is AWESOME. haha!

  25. leah

    DOOD! that’s totally all the reasons i write too!

    great post, it definitely turned me on 🙂

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