“Does your wife or girlfriend think you are too “big,” too “small,” or “just right” in the bedroom?” asked the dude with the glasses, trendy t-shirt, beard, and clipboard.
I had just left the 42nd Street Library and was walking down the street, passing the headquarters of a major pay-channel cable network.
“Huh?” I asked. I’m used to tourists asking for directions to the Empire State Building, but never this.
“I’m with the show “Honest Sex Stories” and we’re interviewing people today in the street. You can be on TV!”
I noticed a cameraman and soundman lurking in the background, in front of the “Hearty Soup” cafe.
“You want me to talk about my penis size on TV?”
He assured me that the show gets a large audience, and has been nominated for an Emmy.
I know that it is everyone’s dream of being on TV. We all want Oprah’s job when she leaves. I read tweets about mommybloggers on CNN. Redneck Mommy is now on Canadian TV every week! I would love to feel special too, but do I really want this to be my opening act on the small screen?
Twitter January 2010
@RT Neilochka – hey, gang, watch me on Honest Sex Stories tonight where I talk about my penis size!
As a professional blogger, I decided to talk to this “street interviewer” as a peer, an equal. After all, as the master of ceremonies of the Great Interview Experiment, I know a little bit about interviewing myself, and I didn’t want him to just think of me as some dumb schlub he just picked up off the street.
“So, how many people have you interviewed already?”
“We’re just starting the process.”
I wanted to show him how sharp I was with my knowledge.
“You realize that you’re NOT going to get too many men admitting that they are “too small.” If anything, you are going to get guys insisting that they are “too big.”
“We know that already. That’s why we’re interviewing women too.”
I thought about this for a second. What would I do with this footage if I was trying to be “entertaining” on some cable sex show?
“So, basically, you’re going to intercut men saying they’re too big with the women saying they’re too small?”
“Something like that.”
“So, whatever I would say right now, doesn’t really matter. You could edit me in with some woman saying, “He has the smallest dick in the world,” and the audience will think she is talking about me.”
“That’s unlikely, but it is up to the director and video editors. They’ll be some paperwork that you’ll need to sign before…”
“So, tell me again. Why would I want to do this?”
“You’ll be on TV!”
“What’s your dick size?” I asked.
“You work for a sex show. Surely you know your own dick size.”
“Average. A little more. About six inches, I guess”
“Great. Can I take a photo of you right now with my iPhone?”
“Why would you do that?”
“I run a blog called Citizen of the Month. I’d like to write a post about you, telling my readers about your dick size. Would that be OK with you? I get a lot of readers! This would be a great opportunity for you!”