Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Advice for My Neighbor, the Terror Suspect

news story about this guy across the street

There’s a terrorist on my block
Wants a bomb that goes tick tock!

Saw him eating at “Chili Thai”
Now he’s wanted by the FBI!

Says he hates the U.S.A.
Gonna destroy the NY subway!

La La La La La La La
There’s a terrorist on my block
La La La La La La La
Wants a bomb that goes tick tock!

Terror Dude, I know you’re pissed
Dating must suck for a terrorist

Your work requires “me, me, me”
And women want “stability”

But acting like a stupid prick
Will not impress an American chick.

La La La La La La La
There’s a terrorist on my block
La La La La La La La
Wants a bomb that goes tick tock!

If you learn to treat a girl well
Then your life will turn out swell

American culture can make anyone mad
But with some hottie, it ain’t half bad!

Cause wouldn’t you rather slap her sexy ass
Then play all night with poison gas?

La La La La La La La
There’s a terrorist on my block
La La La La La La La
Wants a bomb that goes tick tock!

12 Comments

  1. I never know what I’ll find here. Keeps me coming back. I’d rather “slap her sexy ass” than “play all night with poison gas”. You tell him, Neil!

  2. very cute! i’ve wondered if you knew of this person after i heard the news.

  3. Come, Mr. Taliban, tally me bananas.

  4. Have you drunk two beers again??

  5. Emily Dickison would be proud.

  6. OH my gosh…I may have just snorted my coffee! Well done, friend!

  7. You should totally get your own dating show.

  8. Wonderful. I can’t quite muster up any post love for Zazi whom they rounded up in my neck of the woods.

  9. I never know what I’m gonna find when I visit Citizen of the Month!

  10. You are weird and wonderful guy, except for kicking that dog :-).

  11. Utterly fantastic!I could hear the melody!

  12. You should record yourself singing this now… 😉 Good job!

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