Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Jew Perfected

 

Am I the only Jew NOT insulted by Ann Coulter’s statement that Christians are Jews “perfected?” 

C’mon, Jews, who wants to be perfect?  When I f**k up, at least I have an excuse — hey, I’m Jewish, I’m not perfect. 

“I’m sorry, Sophia, that I forget to buy you flowers for our anniversary.  But, remember — I’m Jewish.” 

“Oops, I didn’t expect to come so fast and roll over and go to sleep.  But then again, I am Jewish.  I’m not perfect. It’s a thelogical fact.  Too bad.”

“Yeah, I dented the car again  Oy Gevalt.  If only I was perfect and drove perfectly like my Christian friends.  On the positive side, as a member of the Tribe, I’m good at making money — unless you are a really stupid Jew like me — who spends way too much time wasting his energy blogging to entertain a bunch of married women who don’t even put out for him.  But then again, I am Jewish, so what do you expect?  I’m nuts!”

Maybe I should convert.  Eh, I would screw that one up too.  No offense, Catholics, but the bread-body wine-blood thing is a little weird to me.  And Protestants – well, you’re just boring.

My biggest problem is that most of you  ARE Christians.   You’re Jews perfected.   We all know why I’m in therapy.  But what the f**k is your excuse?

45 Comments

  1. I’m not Jewish and I’m insulted.

  2. Haha! SNAP!!!

    That opportunistic twat. Oh–I’m sorry. PERFECT opportunistic twat.

    (NOTE: it is, of course, the half-Jewish part of me leaving this crass and imperfect comment.)

  3. I am Jewish and I’m insulted. Televangelists and Ann Coulter are more “perfect” than I am? Please. (And no, I don’t consider myself perfect).

  4. Well, to be devil’s advocate, I’m sure she means that the religion is perfected… not the person. I guess I have no problem for a very religious person to think their religion is the “best” for them, but thinking their religion is perfected is rather odd. Even if you accept the old-style Christian theology from the New Testament (which even the Pope has denounced for its impact on thousands of years of anti-semitism) that Judaism is a 1975 Toytota Corona while Christianity is a brand new Lexus, who’s the say that that the Lexus is perfect or that someone might not get more out of the old Corona.

  5. Okay, I went back and read the remarks she originally made on Deutsch’s show. And…

    I still call opportunistic twat.

    Don’t get me wrong–she’s smart (seriously, she is) and has wit. Certainly style. But her humor is mean and brittle. Inflexible. Kind of…

    WASPish.

    Maybe Christianity is Judaism perfected. But oy, did they screw up comedy.

  6. You know what bothers me the most — if you google her name you will find a whole bunch of Jewish apologists for her, including Dennis Prager and some editorial writer at the Jewish Journal LA, who are afraid of losing Christian support of Israel.

    These apologists’ basic argument is that everyone thinks their religion is better than the next guys… so what’s the big deal with what she said!

    That is everyone, except for me. What criteria can anyone have to judge religion? Do you have God as a friend on Twitter?

    Popularity? Maybe…

    # Christianity: 2.1 billion
    # Islam: 1.5 billion
    # Secular/Nonreligious/Agnostic/Atheist: 1.1 billion
    # Hinduism: 900 million
    # Chinese traditional religion: 394 million
    # Buddhism: 376 million
    # primal-indigenous: 300 million
    # African Traditional & Diasporic: 100 million
    # Sikhism: 23 million
    # Juche: 19 million
    # Spiritism: 15 million
    # Judaism: 14 million

    Christians should worry less about the Jews, than the Muslims, who are second place in the Religion League, and their pitching is very strong this year.

    But remember, Spiderman 3 was popular also this year. Does that make it the best movie of the year?

  7. I wish someone would strangle Ann Coulter during one of the many grudge fucks she probably gets and deserves. She is a thoroughly detestable human slug in my opinion — leaving her unpleasant slime trails on everything she touches.

    I find what she said ridiculous and insulting to all religions. I know she has the right to say whatever she wants, but I just don’t understand what good she thinks this does? Does she enjoy being insulting for no particular purpose? To sell books? Oy, media whores, whaddya gonna do?

    Don’t worry Neil, “chosen” is better than perfect — perfect is the party where no one shows up! ;-D

  8. Does Ann know that Jesus was Jewish?

  9. Hey, the last time I checked I am single but I don’t put out for married men. 🙁 Still love your blog! Ann Coulter should take her foot and shove it down her throat so we don’t have to hear what she thinks. Education was wasted on her.

  10. If Ann Coulter is perfect, I’d rather be flawed. Seriously flawed.

    And you know I’ve always had a thing for Jewish guys. Perfect is boring.

  11. As a Protestant Christian *ahem* I must confess that I am not perfect.

    Perfection wouldn’t need Jesus and boy do I need Jesus.

    Perfection also doesn’t needs meds and boy have I discovered this momma was in need of some meds.

    And I am NOT boring.
    Plain, maybe.
    Boring? NEVAH.

  12. OMSH — You seem like a very nice person, and I didn’t really mean to make fun of Protestants being boring. However, I just went on your Flickr account and see a lot of photos of your kids playing, and your nice furniture. But, unless I missed it, I don’t see even ONE photo of you vacuuming in your underwear. I’m not insinuating anything, but most Jewish and Catholic women have at least one of these photos online.

    clean.jpg

    (from the flickr account of Debbie Rosenfeld)

  13. I have always had an issue when someone says that his/her religion is better than someone else’s. Just because something works for you, doesn’t mean that it works for someone else. The funny thing is that most religions have an underlying tenet of treating people equally. I wish we could see more of that in the world.

    *sigh* I’m just going to crawl back into my corner and dream more of my ludicrous thoughts here in the PRB.

  14. I hate Ann Coulter so much, I found myself yelling at my mother for no reason just because we were talking about her today. I hate her, and more than that, I hate that I hate her, because I’m sure that is what she wants. I wish I could just rise above, but what can you do, I’m not perfect.

  15. The only thing perfect about Ann Coulter is her Adam’s apple. Seriously, what’s up with that?

  16. Nothing witty to add. I must be a latent Jew.

  17. Ann Coulter’s a fuckin’ nutcase. I think we all know that by now – perfected or not.

  18. she’s a shock jock political commentator. she says absurd things for the sole purpose of getting people aggravated and riled up.

    i find her motives even more reprehensible than her crass and loathsome revilement.

    she’s….arrrrgh! ^*&#*@! which is exactly what she wants to be. she thrives on watching the anger and uproar her spew creates.

  19. i’m a lifelong Christian, or rather, i was (i’m currently of the lapsed variety… it doesn’t just happen to catholics) and this whole “Christians” being used in the same sentence with “perfect” is news to me.

    personally, the majority of the Christians i knew were not only flawed, but also knew they were flawed, which is why some of them turned to Christianity. not to fix flaws or become “perfect,” but because Christianity says God loves you even if you’re royally fucked up.

    (that last sentence may be my own wording.)

  20. Hey, at least you Jews have the potential to be perfected… unlike those of us who follow Buddhist precepts to live our lives… we’re just heathen dregs of society, unworthy of even existing in Ann Coulter’s world-view.

    Of course, this psychotic bitch doesn’t register in my world-view either, so I guess we’re even?

  21. I find the very existence of Ann Coulter offensive. I haven’t seen behavior like hers since junior high school. The whole “Look at me, I’m a naughty girl” thing gets old.

    She also ought to dress like a woman her age (old). And the way she talks–what’s up with that?

  22. This type of talk is one of the biggest problems I have with religion in general. Why do people think one is better than the next? It’s absurd to me. Ann Coulter is a total nutjob.

  23. Since I am neither Jewish nor Christian I have no chance to be perfect and no really good excuse if I screw it up.

    I’m doomed.

  24. All catholics are fallen catholics..Perhaps that’s why they have us kneeling so much …or maybe…there’s another reason…..

  25. Ann Coulter got exactly what she wanted… she annoyed the piss out of most of you and created a giant shit-storm in the media. Brilliant. What a perfect way to get a ton of free publicity for her new book.

    Do you honestly care what she said? Truly? Or do you just jump to your defenses because that is what’s expected of you? You’re doing exactly what she wanted you to.

    But don’t listen to me. I’m REALLY doomed. I turned away from Jesus AND I’m a fag (I was going to say gay but thought I’d pull and Ann Coulter and make you feel uncomfortable).

    I guess the only thing I have left to say is:

    Gay people are straight people perfected.

  26. Ugh.

    I have much love for the Jews – you know that – and your penises. (Is that penii?)

    The Jews are G-d’s chosen people. As someone of the Christian faith, Ann Coulter couldn’t smell her own crap if she had her spine broken and her face was rubbed in her own crap.

    And I can’t believe I’m buying into the sensationalism of Ann Coulter by actually responding to something written about her… my thought is, if you ignore them long enough, they go away.

    But well, MY excuse – seeing you asked – is Daddy didn’t love me. Hah!

  27. Inarticulate — There is some truth to what you say. Maybe the best thing is just to not feed the media frenzy. But I guess it is better to shame people like that her then letting this type of talk become socially acceptable. It would be one thing is she was a comedian… but she touts herself as a serious commentator on issues — so I respect her by taking what she says as serious.

    As for gays and straights — wasn’t the entire premise of “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” that gays are perfect in everything and have to show their straight brethren how to cook, woo their women, even zip up their pants?

    We are nothing without you.

  28. And I guess she has already thought about the Muslims, too. My bad.

    Ann_C.jpg

    Why does everyone always want to convert each other? Wouldn’t there be more room at the all-you-can-eat buffet in heaven if it wasn’t so crowded with the converted?

  29. Wow, you sure stirred up a lot with your post! I’ll have to second WHIT’s comment on the Adam’s apple…really, what IS up with that?

  30. I think atheists are perfected Christians.

  31. I detect sarcasm, but I can’t see why you would be sarcastic. I mean, Ann Coulter is a friggin’ GENIUS. She is an expert on nearly every topic from Christian perfection to the “experiment” that is women’s right to vote to whether or not one is anorexic. Long story short, Christians are perfect, single women treat the state like their sugar daddy, and if you’re in a relationship you cannot be anorexic no matter how disgusting your emaciated frame looks!

    http://jezebel.com/gossip/clips/ann-coulter-thinks-as-long-as-someone-wants-to-date-your-bony-body-youre-not-anorexic-308889.php

  32. The only time we are made perfect is the day we meet our Maker face to face.

    Until then, everyone has an excuse. 🙂

  33. I don’t listen to her if I can avoid it – she makes me doubt the overall intelligence of the human race

  34. I want to be Rattling The Kettle.

  35. I didn’t get too upset about Coulter’s remarks. They were ignorant, but it is not the first time I have heard someone say such things.

    I was more irked by some of the responses such as this one.

  36. I hesitate to add another comment, but since I’m Jewish, how can I not?

    I didn’t even hear the whole Coulter quote, but it was still obvious that she was talking about Christians considering Christianity the perfection of Judaism. As anyone who knows a twaddle of comparative religion gets. Which you do and I do, and we’re Jewish, so we’re right. End of Story!!!

  37. So if Christians (and Catholicism being a subset of that) are Jews perfected, does that mean I (RC) am a more perfect version of you??

    Shite, it is me who needs the therapy now! Move over on the couch Neil or better still, get the hell off it altogether, there is an emergency case here!

    🙂
    E.

  38. Coulter is an idiot. I pay about as much attention to her as I do to Moveon.org or the Democratic Underground or Barak Obama or John Edwards.

  39. She’s a maniac. Forget her.

  40. So I suppose I can now count you on the list of Coulter Haters?

  41. why do people even bother with this woman? This whole celebrity bashing thing is a raging BORE to me. There are so many other things to keep our interests. Religious animosity causes wars.

    And I thought all men were like that Neil, not just the Jewish ones. Thanks for pointing me in the right direction, again.

  42. I think if you looked up Ann Coulter on Wikipedia, it would tell you not to take anything she says or writes seriously. She’s just plain nuts.

    I’m Protestant, and I’m boring as hell.

  43. hi, havent commented in a while, been away. happy anniversary belated.
    so, at this point; its no longer about her comments, its about what shes trying to ‘represent’.
    its that whole one guy being a jerk can make the male species seem like jerks.

    i’ve never met a christian, who was actually a christian, who would dare believe they were perfect. as was already stated, then we wouldnt need Jesus; and therein we wouldnt be christians. (ie christians need jesus, therefore we arent perfect).

    I am catholic christian, and its never a matter of conversion. i cant convert, why would I want to, its a matter of following God and letting HIm do what He is gonna do! But she says those things to get publicity.
    So prayers from each religion to her.

  44. As a devout Christian myself, I have to ask you one very important question:

    WHY ARE YOU WASTING ONE IOTA OF ENERGY READING/LISTENING TO ANYTHING FROM EVIL ANN COULTER?

    I wish she would stop touting her messages as “Christian,” because frankly, they’re a blight on the faith. Ugh.

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