the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Coherent Post Later

1)  Sophia went into surgery with her usual good humor, making the staff laugh, and giving them the stickers that she had received from Eileen in Australia.

2)  Sophia patched things up with her surgeon, who explained that the “error” during the last surgery wasn’t really an error at all!  Sometimes, the tissue comes out in a twisted strand that doesn’t allow for orientation.  This still doesn’t explain why the other doctor told us this while the surgeon was on vacation.  Do doctors communicate with each other?  Was all that emotional stress for nothing?  Is the emotional well-being of the patient an afterthought?

3)  The surgery took about an hour.  The surgeon came out into the waiting room (finally!  He never did after the other surgery) and told me that the procedure went well.

4)  After Sophia woke up from the anaesthesia, she was crying so much that her pain got really bad and her blood pressure went extremely high.  The nurse had to give her some morphine.  The nurse told me that sometimes “the sub-conscious” speaks after waking up from surgery.

5)  As the nurse took Sophia’s temperature, I stood in front of the bed and massaged Sophia’s right foot.  I was surprised when Sophia, drunk from the powerful morphine, used her left foot to rub my groin up and down.  It felt good, but a little inappropriate in the recovery room.  Sophia insists this episode never occurred, but I have the nurse as an eyewitness, even though she was very polite about not mentioning the result.

6)  Sophia is exhausted and in terrible pain.  She took a vicodin, and it didn’t help at all, so she took another one, despite my protests.  The bottle says – only one every 4 hours.

7)  I slept on the bedroom floor last night — to be close to Sophia, but to also give her some room.  I’m glad I vacuumed the carpet on Wednesday.  I’m going to go back to sleep now.

8)  Despite her pain, I know that everything will be great in a few days.  Sophia will be healed and healthy.

9)  Thank you for all your support.  I’m sorry if I haven’t thanked you personally for your card or email.   (Nics in Belfast — Thanks for the beautiful flowers!)

10)  The Cedars-Sinai Breast Cancer clinic was packed yesterday.  Is Thursday free mammogram day?


  1. MichelleVan

    Oh Well Done! Success! Is it over now? You slept on the floor? Wow. You are a keeper for sure.

  2. Pearl

    Rest up this weekend, both of you. Refuah shlema, Sophia.

  3. psychomom

    Glad to hear the update and that she is home and being cared for by someone who truely loves her. The sleeping on the floor had me tearing up. Rest up so you will be ready when she starts ringing the bell.

  4. Caron

    Happy to hear things went well.

  5. Hilly

    I am glad to hear that her surgery went well. You are so sweet to sleep on the floor like that!

  6. psychotoddler

    Good news.

    How difficult would it have been for you to move your groin away from her foot.

    Just askin’.

  7. Neil

    Psychotoddler — I thought it might be an essential part of the recovery process and didn’t want to upset things.

  8. Atomic Bombshell

    I’m relieved that things went well and so glad that Sophia has you around to take good care of her.

  9. alissa

    I am so glad that she is home and resting. Take care of our girl!

  10. Churlita

    Good to hear that she made it through alright. I hope the rest of the weekend goes better.

  11. Non-Highlighted Heather

    I guess subconscious Sophia is a saucy tart. Maybe that’s the trick to getting laid, just put her under some general anesthesia.

    I pray for her sake and yours this is the end of it all. xoxoxoxoxo

  12. echo

    I’m glad it all went well for Sophia. I hope she makes a fast recovery.

  13. Noel

    Someone needs to run a study to prove if women who foot men’s groins during recovery heal faster. I’ll volunteer to participate. Seems the least I can do.

  14. Bryna

    So glad that she went in with High Spirits and tried to lift your “spirits” post-surgury.

    Glad to hear that she’s doing well!

  15. sween

    Glad to hear that things are good. I’ve tried to do my part in increasing the quantity of good vibes heading your way.

  16. Jurgen Nation

    I’m so glad it went well and that you were able to reconcile the issue from the last time! It’s a relief to know that he didn’t make a mistake. It’s more of a relief to know that she’s okay and that it’s over.

    Careful with those Vicodins, though. They can have a horrible constipatory effect. I mean, REALLY. And this is from someone who deals with it regularly (the const., not the Vicodin). Also, is “constipatory” a word? It is now.

  17. Otir

    Keeping up with praying for speedy and complete healing and recovery. With love.

  18. wendy

    I wish you both some well deserved rest and continued health and pain free moments.

  19. Geeky Tai-Tai

    Neil, I’ve only been reading your blog for about a month or so? I’m not sure. All I know is, that I’m glad that Sophia has made it through this surgery, and I hope it’s the last!

    Good thoughts and much love to both you and Sophia.

  20. Lynnster

    Thinking of you two and continuing to keep you in thoughts and prayers. Hang in there and hoping for the very best here, Neil.

  21. peefer

    It’s good to see that that your spirit has risen. And by spirit, I mean penis. And by good to see, I don’t mean good to see at all, because as much as I wish you well, I don’t it would be good to see your penis thank you very much. What were we talking about?

    Oh yeah, a swift recuperation for Sophia. Best wishes to you both.

  22. Sarah

    Thanks for the update Neil…Sophia is in my prayers for a quick recovery and cancer-free sticker at the end of all this!

  23. heather anne

    I’m glad to hear that Sophia in on the road to recovery. I hope you both get some well-deserved emotional and physical rest! 🙂

  24. sizzle

    i am so glad sophia is ok and back home. i am thinking of you both! sending lots of love!! xxox

  25. sarah g

    glad youre home, very sweet about sleeping on the floor! Hope you both get some rest 🙂

  26. better safe than sorry

    i’m glad everything went well, always a good sign when the doctor is pleased and let’s you know.
    get some rest, both of you!

  27. Dana

    That’s so great, Neil and Sophia! (I’m assuming the Comedy stamp was a big help in the O.R.) Lots of rest and best of luck to you both. Sleep well, Neil, so you can get to that cooking.

  28. buzzgirl

    I’m glad the surgery went well, and we’re waiting with fingers crossed for the good news on the biopsy results.

    I’ve heard that anasthesia does weird things to people when they first come out of it. Giving a “foot job” was not one of the side effects I was familiar with, however. Wow. Will you be keeping ether by the bed now?

  29. Lisa

    I’m so sorry I haven’t been checking in regularly recently. My life got a little overwhelming. I’m glad the surgery went well and that Sophia gets so much amazing support from you.

  30. Suldog

    Just in case you and Sophia are truly not familiar with Vicodin and related substances, I’ll tell you that from my exoperiences with the drugs (and similar – Percodan, Percocet, etc.)it will not hurt to take two or three at a time, IF needed for the pain AND not in combination with anything else.

    The warning that has to be given is that Vicodin is addicting. There is likely to be a bit of depression and/or sleeplessness with withdrawal after many days of the drug – say more than five or six. Over-the-counter sleep aids and love will ameliorate much of that discomfort.

  31. jenny

    glad to hear the surgery went well, although sorry that sophia is in a lot of pain. sophia’s breasts and i have been through a lot together, with all the tiger tattooing, so i’m sending out a special “get well soon” vibe her way! 🙂

  32. Alexandra

    Thinking of you both-please let Sophia know I want to visit her if thats ok when I am in LA end of June. Huge hugs to you two-

  33. brettdl

    Glad to hear it all went so well. It’ll be good to get the whole thing behind you. Maybe you should plan for another vacation in a few weeks?

  34. Finn

    Have I told lately that I love you? Because I do. Sleeping on the floor… marry me?

    Seriously, I’m glad all went well. Get some rest, both of you. xoxoxo

  35. Denise

    What wonderful news about the surgery – I’m keeping both of you in my prayers.

  36. Eileen

    Yay! Glad to hear things went well. Who knew that surgery would put Sophie in the mood. Most people just take flowers. Take care.

  37. Pearl

    Glad to hear the surgery was a success. Getting some rest sounds better than wearing out the carpet with pacing.

  38. Not Fainthearted

    Oh Neil, I couldn’t have stayed separated from you if you rubbed my foot in recovery and slept on the floor of the bedroom to watch over me. I hope the healing that comes after this surgery is all inclusive. Blessings on you both. xoxoxoxo

  39. kerrianne

    I, too, am adding my voice, or, well, my sentences, to the heaps of those celebrating that her surgery went well.

    Happy and quick healing to Sophia.

  40. It's Me... Maven

    Sending out good thoughts for Sophia, her breast, and you.


  41. Two Roads

    Here’s to a speedy recovery. And as one reovery nurse told me – don’t be a hero and try and tough out the pain – ask and take the pain meds that is what they are for!

  42. dan-E

    regarding point #5, does this mean that a post-op “conversations with my penis” post is on the way? just curious.

    i’m so glad that everything is ok.

  43. Eileen

    So glad things went well. Now for the recovery! All my love to Sophia and yourself, Neil, and leave the penis out of the picture for now. 🙂

  44. Margaret

    praise be

  45. plain jane

    Do you want all partners to hate you or what? Now every one of your readers will expect their loved one to sleep on the floor by their bed while they recuperate.

    Lovely. My best to Sophia.

  46. :: jozjozjoz ::

    Glad it sounds like things went smoothly.

    Thinking healing thoughts for her.

  47. Michael

    Glad to hear Sophia is on the road to recovery, she is very lucky to have you around. You’re both in our thoughts and prayers.

  48. lizardek

    I’m so glad to hear it went well. Yay for Sophia! Sending more positive energy and healing thoughts via the blogosphere!

  49. teebopop

    Neil – I am so happy things went well. But you shouldn’t be sleeping on the floor. You need just as much rest and comfort as Sophia so that you can take care of her and be at your very best when you do!

    I’m sure you are both glad that it’s all over and that now she can concentrate on healing.

    Take care – both of you.

  50. tamarika

    Thank goodness this part is over. I teared up through the whole report especially when you made me laugh. I think I’ll just have to to come and see you and Sophie in July. Will you be around?

  51. tamarika

    Oops – I meant to write Sophia – am typing in the dawn light – with my candle lit and nag champa too – thinking of dear Sophia and Neil. I think I’ll turn on the light now.

  52. shortie

    Neil, I’m so glad everything went ok and I’m glad you are able to be there for her.Sophia sounds like a strong woman! Sending those positive vibes and prayers.

  53. Karl

    Wow, this is what happens when I get so far behind on blog reading. Very happy that the surgery went well for Sophia. Hope she’s feeling no pain again soon.

  54. V-Grrrl

    Oh, those recovery room tears–but hey, the foot thing, very encouraging. That was her breasts way of saying “We’re fine! Really!” You know, the subconscious talking.

  55. communicatrix

    Vicodin didn’t work for me, either. And after speaking to some people who shall remain nameless, I have come to the conclusion that it is most effective when used recreationally. Oh, well.

    Glad to hear S. pulled through. And that recovery room story is one for the ages…

  56. Ash

    That kind of pain is just awful. When I had my sterilisation/endo ablation back in January I woke from the anaesthesia into that kind of pain and spent about 6 hours extra in the recovery room because of the pain and low bp.

    I didn’t have anyone to rub my feet. Maybe if I had I might have used my other foot to rub their groin 😉

    You’re an angel for being so kind to Sophia, Neil. Everyone needs kindness in their life.

    My very best to Sophia.

  57. Scarlet

    And you still make me laugh:) (#5)

    Glad things went well.

  58. Pants

    I’m glad to hear that Sophia is doing okay. Coming out of anaesthesia turns me into a weepy mess. It helps to have someone there. The last time I had general anaesthesia my father was there…which was helpful. Plus, I never would have known that I told the anaesthesiologist, “There’s no cleaning your soul.” Whatever that means.

  59. day

    stumbled upon your blog from another and have been reading, captivated. my heart goes out to you and sophia and i hope that everything turns out perfectly in the end. we can hope for the utmost best right?

    something about you guys living here in LA makes this feel more personal. maybe it was the mention of Cedars or … I don’t know. (grew up in San Marino, live in Hollywood). it’s nice to be able to relate to a blog in a way i’m not able to all the time.

    i’ll def. be back for more.

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