Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Sophia, Fortune Cookies from Redondo Beach Never Tell a Lie

fortune from Seafood Village, October 25, 2006

(the waiter with the cool Chinese name who calls himself Paul says hello and looks forward to your return from New York)


  1. Is that your nickname for Sophia, Pleasure?

  2. Neil, just be yourself.

  3. Neil, I told you what you needed to do to make it happen, mmmkay?

  4. How could she resist you?

  5. Tell Pleasure to take a number, I’m busy. Unless he’s really hot. Then tell him I’ll be right there. Is that too desparate?

  6. seriously, what do the numbers mean??

  7. Ancient secret numbers? The true meaning of “Lost?” No, they are numbers for the lottery!

  8. Nice one! The only thing awaiting me is laundry. *sighs*

  9. And if you use those numbers, I’m certain you’ll win the lottery!

  10. You must be busy buying flowers,lighting candles, fluffing pillows, pouring wine for the big day/night.

  11. awk bless! hope it all goes well!

  12. That along with the YouTube dance – she must be swooning. Hope it goes well.

  13. Why is there a . between 47 and 13? is it 47.13 – does that work for the lottery?

    Welcome home Sophia!

  14. Neil, please forgive me, but I used you to write a post on Speaking in Code! Sophia, you, too, must forgive me.

    I have poor boundaries. But since the post IS in code, no one will get it, and it should all be okay. Gam zu l’tova, right?

  15. I’m still laughing abou the Youtube dance. How could anyone resist. Isn’t your fortune a Roxy Music song?

  16. Once I got a fortune cookie that said, “Don’t trust the person across from you.”

  17. Welcome home, Sophia.

    Pleasure is good. Don’t overanalyze, Neil, just relax and go with your gut. And tell your penis to keep his mouth shut for once.

  18. Ugh, this post has me craving Chinese food now. Thanks, Neil!

  19. You’ve got to write a song about her homecoming. Do it!

  20. You know that trick you use in Chinese restaurants. You add the words “in bed” to the end of every fortune. “Pleasure awaits your company…in bed.” It works!

  21. The last fortune I got read, “Accept the next proposition you receive.”

    All I could think was, “eeeeew…”

  22. Non-Highlighted Heather

    October 26, 2006 at 8:42 am

    When my mom had “the talk” with me, the term she used to describe the sexual relationship between two people that love each other was “pleasurable.” She also dropped this therapy requiring phrase on me, “I find intercourse with your father to be very pleasurable.” Suffice it to say that now any time I come across that word in any of its conjugated forms, it takes everything I have to not curl up in the fetal position and spend the rest of the day in a vegetative state.

  23. If I were a hooker, that’s what my buisness card would look like. Only it’d be my cell number rather than lotto numbers.

  24. I need that fortune cookie 😉

  25. Margaret’s comment had me cracking up!!!!

  26. i’ll have to use those numbers for a lotto ticket here, see if i have any luck.
    at first i thought maybe it was her flight number and gate number, wouldn’t that be spooky!
    safe flight to home to your sophia!

  27. awwww, Neil. She’ll be back soon.
    Chin up.

  28. I love getting the right fortune at the right time.
    When they are wrong and dumb, they don’t count.
    When they are right and perfect, it’s the universe conspiring in my favor.
    May the universe continue to conspire in favor of you and Sophia.

  29. Lotto Ticket. Get one. Luck is bound to be on your side soon.

  30. Melanie, not a bad idea…

  31. Y’know, I’d be wary of eating in a restaurant which is THAT empty. It can’t be too popular.

  32. I hope it all goes well for the two of you.

  33. I don’t know man – ‘still separated’ may not mean ‘horny’.

  34. How can Sophia possible resist fate speaking to her through your fortune cookie?

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