Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

After Sophia’s Shoot

Sophia’s shoot on Windfall went great.  Afterwards, we searched for a restaurant in Valencia for dinner that wasn’t an Outback Steakhouse or an Olive Garden.  Before we went home, Sophia went out and  bought me a nice "thank you" gift for all my help.



  1. How much more generous and forgiving Sophia could be!
    In fact, almost 4 times more generous than Neilochka: compare $12.99 Cock Shaker (is that a bargain or what?!) to the famous Wilted Sunflower Bouquet (with cock attached) for $3.99

    I’ll say it again – Sophia, you’re a saint.

  2. So, how exactly does that cock shaker work? And how was it, Neil?! 😉

  3. You know, that Stain Reci would be a great character name. A bad ass dude, I think.

  4. guess i know how you’re spending the rest of your evening, nothing like a few cocktails to relax and unwind.

  5. What’s wrong w/Olive Garden?
    What is NOT wrong with Olive Garden?

    And man, Neil… is that ACTUAL SIZE?

  6. i guess that’s one way to get a girl to swallow.

  7. Best when shaken, not stirred?

  8. You were in Valencia. You can’t expect more.

    I got to get one of those Cock Shakers.

  9. That Sophia, she is obviously a classy gal. I like her style.

  10. I thought you already had one of those.

  11. the gift that keeps on giving!

  12. I’ve always told my friends, width is more important that length. I’m impressed!

  13. What a great night cap!

  14. sadly, a cock shaker can’t replace the real thing. . .

  15. Off topic (or is it?): Sophia, if you can still function after a day like this, I found something about the the “dogs that bark:
    It’s obvious where our Neilochka fits, isn’t it?

  16. Guess you won’t be invited to opening night when I unveil my new hybrid chain restaurant:

    The Oliveback Steak Garden

    (our breadsticks are rolled in breadcrumbs, fried and to die for!)

  17. $12.99…a bargain at ANY price, my dear.

  18. Hold up, SE, there could be a market for those breadsticks.

    Neil, gorgeous boy, no more artificial stimulants. Your wang is going to get caught in that thing and then how do you explain it to the ER doc?

  19. Circuits melting…too many comments…can’t compute…need more RAM…

  20. Why is Sophia buying a cock shaker, Neil? Isnt that what she has you for?

  21. And I like the garlic bread at Olive Garden

  22. I hope you’re not planning on re-gifting that.

  23. If you shake it too much you can grow hair on your palms.

  24. Boy, we just thought it was funny when we saw it. I didn’t realize that it would unleash so much filthy thoughts. Perverts.

  25. I thought it was funny. But I’ve never been to an Olive Garden or an Outback, and feel rather deprived. Really–like the Olive Garden commercials. Would see them on late late late night cable and thought it was a restaurant in the Bronx.

  26. this picture inspired my post. Not sure if you should feel flattered…

  27. Congrats, Neil! I searched and searched and searched, and you are the first blogger ever to tag ‘Valenica’. Is that a place in Middle Earth?

  28. Sophia said I should have tagged, “Cock Shaker,” but I just refused.

  29. star effer, if you ever start a restaurant that offers breaksticks that have been deep fried, i’m so going there. i’ll eat almost anything deep fried.

  30. I agree w/ Sophia about tagging Cock Shaker. Too many comments about Olive Garden…I only have one thing to say about Olive Garden…the new one in San Antonio, TX by 1604/La Cantera has a toilet made for gods. The flush was incredible ;). Kudos to Olive Garden for creating a toilet I am proud to use and flush.

  31. nice cock tale about the cocktail

  32. In this case, it’s not just the THOUGHT that counts…

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