Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Tag: Time

The Ticker-Tape Parade

Dear Meg, Allison, and Bill Jr.,

Wasn’t that an amazing day?  I can’t stop thinking about it.  There were millions of people lined up Fifth Avenue, cheering so loud that it was deafening, like a rock concert.  And then the ticker-tape fell from the sky, like multi-colored snowflakes, littering the city streets. 

And it was all for ME!

You were all so proud.  I saw in your eyes.  Me — Bill Addison, your husband, your father — the first man about to make a solo trip to Jupiter!

I remember that day so vividly.  Don’t you?  I can’t believe that it was thirty eight years ago. 

Anway, not much new here.  The trip to Jupiter is still in progress.  It gets lonely at times, but then again, it’s only another twenty-seven years before I reach Jupiter, and then — who knows what I’ll find?!  Woo-hoo, party!!

I know these emails don’t reach you, but know I’m thinking of you!  I hope you’re all enjoying life.  Is Gramps still around?  I’m always looking at the family photo — the one we took at the Ticker-Tape Parade.  Whenever I sit down with one of my NASA food packets, I imagine you guys here with me, chowing down. 

I’ll never forget that Parade.

Love,

Bill (Dad)

Message from Time Magazine

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This week, we chose YOU as the Person of the Year because:

 “In 2006, the World Wide Web became a tool for bringing together the small contributions of millions of people and making them matter.”

Three days later, the editors here at Time Magazine have decided that the Year of “You” has officially ended, due to an online blogger holiday concert that started out as a day for holiday cheer, but quickly denigrated into a night of chaos, violence, and protest.

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Events at the concert unfurled quickly as two female bloggers sang similar versions of “Santa Baby.”  Fists started flying after Pam of Nerd’s Eye View called Erin of Villanovababy a “Britney wannabe who should stick to her stupid blog.”  Erin of Villanovababy simply said, “Pam is a blogging bitch who can stick her ukulele up her ***.”

Several bloggers were asked to leave the Hyatt Hotel on LA’s Sunset Strip after trashing the “Presidential Suite” in an after-concert bash. 

“I’ve never seen such sick depravity in all my years as hotel manager.  It was like a wild drunken orgy, except they used their laptops!” said Richard Ortiz, a 25-year veteran in the business.

Many bloggers were disappointed in the management of the concert.  Outcries of nepotism were heard because bloggers were only allowed to perform one song each, but Sophia Lansky of Redondo Beach, was allowed TWO songs.  An anonymous caller, a disgruntled blogger who goes by the alias of “Brooke,” said that Ms. Lansky isn’t even a blogger.  Further research revealed that the Ms. Lansky is the separated wife of the concert organizer, Neil “Neilochka” Kramer.  Requests for an interview were refused.

Disruptions to the concert are expected to continue this evening as Al Sharpton prepares to lead a large protest march against the Holiday concert. 

“Despite being called a Christmahanukwanzaakah Concert, not ONE song for Kwanzaa was included in the festivities.” said Mr. Sharpton. “It is not surprising that this concert was organized by someone named “Kramer.””

Time Magazine deeply regrets picking ordinary people to be Time Person of the Year. 

“If this is what happens when bloggers get together, forget this s**t about YOU.” said a senior editor.  “We should have just picked Tiger Woods!”

A Year Ago on Citizen of the MonthBlogging the Big Event

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