Tag Archives: nonsense

The Dating Life

Posted on October 3, 2010 by Neil

(taken down the block from my mother’s apartment building) “How much?” I asked the woman in the tight shorts standing on the corner. She seemed the perfect partner to help me complete my humiliation. “Ten dollars for a blowjob, twenty-five … Continue reading →

Posted in Life with Sophia, New York City | Tagged , , | 32 Comments

Need to Sleep

Posted on February 28, 2010 by Neil

Writing on the iPhone is so personal. I am in bed. I am thinking about you, but I don’t know you. I hold you in my hands as I type. My thumb slides over and around your tender keys, hoping … Continue reading →

Posted in Life in General | Tagged | 17 Comments

Rules of Etiquette

Posted on September 7, 2009 by Neil

The rules of etiquette are important to me. Dirty laundry, we shouldn’t see. Always close the bathroom door. Pick up the bathmat from the floor. Always dress in the nicest attire. In case you have to run out during a … Continue reading →

Posted in Blogging and the Internet, Literary | Tagged | 25 Comments

How Social Media is Ruining My Plans

Posted on June 8, 2009 by Neil

For four years, I have been writing jokes about BlogHer, fantasizing about my dream to go to the conference and finally use my blogging popularity for some legitimate purpose — getting some hot action from some starry-eyed female fan.  For … Continue reading →

Posted in Blogging and the Internet | Tagged , , , , , | 23 Comments

Do Over

Posted on November 25, 2008 by Neil

When people ask me if I blog to grow as a writer, I say no.  Blogging makes me a WORSE writer, since I spend most of my time pandering to the unwashed mob.  Do I blog for the friendships that … Continue reading →

Posted in New York City | Tagged , , | 18 Comments

A Five Minute Long Wild Sex Comedy

Posted on April 27, 2008 by Neil

– starring Neil, Sophia, Neil’s Mom, several half-naked girls from Queens, and introducing Moondog, as Neil’s surfer dude buddy. FADE IN: INT. DON CARLOS’ FISH TACOS – REDONDO BEACH – DAY Neil and Moondog have just finished hanging ten at … Continue reading →

Posted in Literary, Misc. Humor, Sex | Tagged , , , , , | 20 Comments

You Can’t Spell Happiness without Penis

Posted on February 21, 2008 by Neil

There’s an old showbiz adage — “Dying is easy, comedy is hard.” Look how easy it was for me yesterday to write about being miserable. All I had to do was throw some Leonard Cohen or Beck lyrics up on … Continue reading →

Posted in Life in General, Sex | Tagged , , , , | 31 Comments

The Best Blog of 2008

Posted on January 16, 2008 by Neil

  As you may know, now is the season when all the “Best Blog” Awards are handed out. There are several of these competitions currently running. It is of the utmost importance that you vote for me for “The Best … Continue reading →

Posted in Blogging and the Internet | Tagged , | 27 Comments

The Secret

Posted on February 21, 2007 by Neil

“Thou shalt not covet your neighbor’s house” spoke God, and a lightening bolt hit the table and ingrained the tenth commandment in stone for eternity. Moses, his hair turned white from being in the presence of God, shook in fear. … Continue reading →

Posted in Literary, Products | Tagged , , , , , , | 53 Comments