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Neil Kramer explores the humorous side of family, friendship, love, and sex, and the dangerous art of writing about it.
He lives in NYC or LA -- he's not sure yet. He can be contacted at neilochka on yahoo.
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Recent Posts
Tag Archives: nonsense
The Dating Life
(taken down the block from my mother’s apartment building) “How much?” I asked the woman in the tight shorts standing on the corner. She seemed the perfect partner to help me complete my humiliation. “Ten dollars for a blowjob, twenty-five … Continue reading
Need to Sleep
Writing on the iPhone is so personal. I am in bed. I am thinking about you, but I don’t know you. I hold you in my hands as I type. My thumb slides over and around your tender keys, hoping … Continue reading
Rules of Etiquette
The rules of etiquette are important to me. Dirty laundry, we shouldn’t see. Always close the bathroom door. Pick up the bathmat from the floor. Always dress in the nicest attire. In case you have to run out during a … Continue reading
How Social Media is Ruining My Plans
For four years, I have been writing jokes about BlogHer, fantasizing about my dream to go to the conference and finally use my blogging popularity for some legitimate purpose — getting some hot action from some starry-eyed female fan. For … Continue reading
Posted in Blogging and the Internet
Tagged BlogHer, information, nonsense, Sex, social media, viral
23 Comments
Do Over
When people ask me if I blog to grow as a writer, I say no. Blogging makes me a WORSE writer, since I spend most of my time pandering to the unwashed mob. Do I blog for the friendships that … Continue reading
A Five Minute Long Wild Sex Comedy
– starring Neil, Sophia, Neil’s Mom, several half-naked girls from Queens, and introducing Moondog, as Neil’s surfer dude buddy. FADE IN: INT. DON CARLOS’ FISH TACOS – REDONDO BEACH – DAY Neil and Moondog have just finished hanging ten at … Continue reading
Posted in Literary, Misc. Humor, Sex
Tagged marriage, misery, nonsense, Queens, separation, Sex
20 Comments
You Can’t Spell Happiness without Penis
There’s an old showbiz adage — “Dying is easy, comedy is hard.” Look how easy it was for me yesterday to write about being miserable. All I had to do was throw some Leonard Cohen or Beck lyrics up on … Continue reading
Posted in Life in General, Sex
Tagged Depression, happiness, hot babes at BlogHer, nonsense, penis size
31 Comments
The Best Blog of 2008
As you may know, now is the season when all the “Best Blog” Awards are handed out. There are several of these competitions currently running. It is of the utmost importance that you vote for me for “The Best … Continue reading
The Secret
“Thou shalt not covet your neighbor’s house” spoke God, and a lightening bolt hit the table and ingrained the tenth commandment in stone for eternity. Moses, his hair turned white from being in the presence of God, shook in fear. … Continue reading
Posted in Literary, Products
Tagged marketing, nonsense, philosophy, Rhonda Byrne, self-help, snake oil, The Secret
53 Comments



