Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Tag: CES

CES: Day Two

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In a desperate publicity stunt to take attention away from Google, Yahoo!’s Yodelimo will drive you five feet from the monorail to the convention center entrance.

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After we heard some Microsoft presenter talk and talk about technology advancing "productivity,"  we noticed that most of the crowd gathered around the X-Box games.

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At CES, the world is already Asian.

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My favorite booth at CES — cutesy TVs by Hannspree.

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At last! We found Moxi and Sophia promptly told them what she thought about their shitty DVR interface.  I couldn’t believe it, but they actually took notes!

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Sony’s AIBO robotic dog costs $3000 and has "blog capability."  I’ve already put him on my blogroll.

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The one question that stuck in my mind throughout the event:  Is Yanni really any better in Hi-Def and Surround Sound?

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Polk Audio’s new line of speakers offer amazing clarity and sound.  You won’t believe the power of the highs, mids, and bass coming from this attractive set… uh, excuse me, this photo is from the wrong Las Vegas convention.   She belongs in the Adult Video Expo across the hall…

Viva La iPod

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I was playing Texas Hold-em Poker with Sophia and my mother when we got a little confused over what the dealer button meant.

"Go check out the ‘World Series of Poker’ I have recorded on TV," Sophia said.  "They explain it prety well."

I went to the living room to check out Sophia’s Tivo, which is not really a Tivo, but a Replay TV, but I always call it a Tivo, like some people always call a Pepsi a Coke, which must annoy the hell out of executives at Pepsico.  In fact, I sometimes go to Burger King and specifically ask for a Coke just to hear the beleaguered girl taking the order say for the thousandth time that day "We don’t have Coke.  Is Pepsi OK?"  So, yes, I do have a passive-aggressive streak.

When I got to the Tivo — I mean Replay TV, I noticed that Sophia had been taping every Texas Hold ’em show on TV. These poker shows have clearly taken over from the designing shows as the new flavor of the day.  There are poker games on Bravo, GSN, ESPN, and even the Travel Channel.  If there’s an excuse for a poker series, they’ll find one.  "Next on CSPAN:  Congressmen who love Texas Hold ’em Poker."

Now I understood why Sophia was winning every game.   At first, I thought she had just looked stupid wearing those sunglasses and that hooded sweatshirt, but now I see she was imitating the poker "masters"  — and intimidating us.

"Sophia, I’m having some trouble finding the show you wanted me to look at."

"It’s called ‘World Series of Poker."

"You have 2005, 2004, 2002, and 1998."

"Just pick any one."

I couldn’t figure out this Replay TV box.  I had to call Sophia for her assistance.

"What’s the matter with you?  You used to be so good with electronic things."

She was right.  After we started playing poker again, I lost interest.  I couldn’t stop thinking about what she said.  I quickly went "all in" and lost all my chips.   I started to head upstairs.

"Where are you going?" asked my mother.

"To the bedroom to sulk and ponder my life."

I sat on the bed and thought about the past.   At one time, people used to come to me to fix their computers.  But no more.  Now they always go to some fifteen year old cousin. 

Somewhere along the line, I lost interest in technology.  Perhaps it was the time several years ago when I started having sex on a regular basis.  Honestly, if you have a woman to play with, isn’t that enough to occupy you for the rest of your life?  Do you really need a Blackberry? 

I still use an old-fashioned CRT monitor.  My cellphone is clunky.  I do not own an iPod.  I’ve never touched an X-Box

But blogging has changed everything.   Many of my readers depend on me to keep them in touch with the latest and greatest, the hottest and the trendiest.  Some of you get all of your news from blogs, some of you are shut-ins on medication.  I have a responsibility to the community. 

So later this week, from Thursday to Sunday, rather than blabbing on about my usual mundane subjects, I will be attending The Consumer Electronics Show (CES) in Las Vegas.  This is an enormous show that takes over the city as companies showcase the coolest gadgets coming out in 2006.   And Citizen of the Month will be blogging from the show floor.  There will be other bloggers there, including many from big time blogs. But only at Citizen of the Month will you get a unique perspective — from someone who knows absolutely nothing about the subject. 

If you have any questions on what’s hot in consumer electronics, please ask me and I’ll be sure to get you a wrong answer.

Oh, by the way, I will be doing other things in Las Vegas other than attending this fascinating conference.  I will try my hand — for the very first time — playing real life Texas Hold ’em Poker.  Sophia even gave me this Hanukkah gift for me to wear at the table, so I can look like all the other professionals.   

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(photo taken by Sophia on her cool, gadgety Nokia phone)

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