Jackie and I were sitting in the Cozy Cafe.
“Have you read “50 Shades of Grey?” I asked.
“Yes. It’s so poorly written,” said Jackie, my long-time blogging friend.
“That’s what I heard.”
“And the media is so superficial in discussing it. They’re acting as women have never enjoyed erotica before. Or had sexual fantasies.”
“You know the media. They just like to create controversy to get more readers.”
“But maybe it’s good that the fantasies of women are more openly discussed. That women are finally able to be comfortable talking about sex, masturbation, vibrators, and their own vaginas.”
What I liked most about Jackie was that we could discuss anything, without fear of embarrassment.
“I wonder if the openness of blogging has helped push this agenda for women.” I mused.
“You might be right,” she said. “Women can be honest about what they want in their lives sexually.”
“I wonder if blogging even paved the way for a sexually-realistic show like “Girls” on HBO.”
“Interesting,” said Jackie. “It’s like the time has arrived where women don’t have to sugar coat their sexuality for the patriarchy. We can sleep around. We can have bad sex. We can be fully actualize sexual beings.”
“Blogging has also changed the way men think about sexuality,” I chimed in.
“Yeah? In what way?”
Jackie, with a masters in Feminist Studies, was always willing to discuss gender issues.
“I think, before blogging, men were mostly attracted to women because of their looks.”
“Yeah, tits and ass. Men are so simple.”
“But that has all changed. I know something has happened to me in the last year eight years of blogging. I have spent so much time online, interacting with a person’s creativity and talent, that it has become more important to me than a person’s physical appearance.”
“Maybe that is true for women, but never for men.”
“No, blogging has feminized men. We fall in love with your writing and photography now, not your bra size!”
Jackie was still skeptical about my theory.
“Bullshit. Even at BlogHer, I notice how the men act. They spend the weekend surrounding whoever is the hottest looking momblogger in the room.”
“You are so wrong. That doesn’t happen anymore. We might notice a blogger’s cleavage, but we want to talk with the one who makes us laugh on Twitter.”
“I don’t buy it.”
“No, really!” I insisted. “There is something sensual about talent. Can I be honest with you — since you are always open with me, telling me about vibrators and stuff?”
“Remember that great post you wrote last week. About visiting your grandmother in the mountains when you were a teenager.”
“I loved it. I loved it so much, I thought about the imagery all night. The way you described the mountain air. It was so beautiful. And later, when I opened up my computer to read it a third time, I said to myself, “I wish I could fuck this post.”
“I was just so moved by what you wrote that I needed to fuck your words. I had to take my cock out because I was so turned on.”
“Now, remember, this has nothing to do with the size of you dress or your hair. It was your mind that turned me on. I hope this isn’t too weird for me to tell you.”
“I just figured that since you read “Fifty Shades of Grey” and like “Girls,” you would be comfortable with my own honesty.”
“There is just one big difference. That other stuff is fiction! It is cool because it isn’t real. But jacking off to my blog post about my late grandmother is f*cking sick!”
“It doesn’t really mean anything, or change our relationship. I was just trying to tell you how blogging has changed me as a man. How it has opened me up to new turn-ons.”
“You’re a fucking freak, man. Pervert. I never want to hear from you.”
“But I was just being OPEN WITH YOU!”
Jackie grabbed her purse and started leaving the coffee shop, the other customers eavesdropping in.
“Go jack off to your own dead grandmother!” she said as she left. “I’m blocking you from ever reading my blog again!”
“But not on Facebook, right?” I pleaded, not wanting to lose a follower.
But she was already gone.