I only took a carry-on with me to LAX yesterday because going to BlogHer was a last minute decision. The health of my father-in-law, Vartan, was still shaky. He had just started with hospice. I got my boarding pass from the Virgin America machine and went through security. I was about to put my shoes back on, post security, when Sophia called me on the phone. She was crying. Vartan had passed away. Sophia, who had dropped me off at the airport no longer than ten minutes ago, returned to pick me up. We drove to her parents’ home. The hospice nurse came to pronounce Vartan dead. The nurse was a very caring Filipino who hugged everyone he met. Soon after, the same sober-looking, deep-voiced guy from the funeral home who came to pick up Sophia’s mother just a month and a half ago, now came for Vartan.
The caregiver, who only knew him a short time, was in tears.
Vartan was an uber-impressive man. A cancer surgeon in Russia, a chess player, a cook, a cabinet maker; a devoted and patient husband to Fanya. I bonded with Vartan in ways I didn’t with Fanya — we both had to deal with “dramatic women,” as wives, and we frequently gave each other knowing glances.
The last seven months have been a slow and painful decline for Vartan. He and Fanya aged 20 years each in less than a year. It was so very sad to watch. I’ve seen and done things I would not have expected to encounter just a year ago. In some ways, I think it is better now that Vartan is in a happier place, with his beloved Fanya. Today is the funeral. Vartan and Fanya will be buried in the same plot of land.
Sophia has now lost both parents in a short amount of time. The hospice MD sent Sophia this SMS: Tried to call you. I’m sorry and my condolences. God’s peace & comfort w u. You are truly a wonderful person and one of the most caring I ever met.”
This has been one hard year for Sophia. If you want her address or email, contact me at neilochka at yahoo dot com or @neilochka on Twitter.
I really enjoyed this...
I am so very sorry for your loss Neil.
jen posted It’s a wonderful life!
What a kind tribute.
Vartan sounded like a pretty awesome guy. What a nice memory you honored him with.
Hippo Brigade posted Puffy Painted Rainbows
Heartbreaking. My love to you and Sophia.
i am so sorry for her loss and your loss. he sounds like an amazing accomplished man who lived a full vibrant life. and i am glad that his passing was supported and fostered by people that saw that in him, even in the end. my heart goes out to sophia and she has my thoughts and prayers. a
A warm, heartfelt and terribly sad tribute. My condolences to Sophia and you. What an awful few months you’ve had.
TwoBusy posted Are Those Your Keys A BlogHer 2010 Memoir Part Uno
My thoughts and prayers are with you both.
i am so so sorry for your losses. it’s been such a heartbreaking year. my thoughts and prayers are with you and sophia.
xo
lindsey posted -the virtues of fluffernutter sandwiches-
I am very sorry for your loss. Please give my best regards to Sophia. This is a wonderful tribute (and even more wonderful is what you said about how thousands would have attended his funeral if this were a different locale, amongst them people he has saved…)
I am so sorry, Neil.
René posted I came to writing with comically low expectations Last week I
My thoughts are with Sophia and you at this sad time. What an amazing couple, so sad that they passed within such a short time and yet it seems as if they needed to be together again.
Susanne posted My planner
I am so sorry for your loss, and also that I did not tell you this in person. I wasn’t sure how to say (as a stranger to you) that I was sad that your in-laws had died, without sounding flip or wrong. I realize I should have just said it anyway.
nonlineargirl posted Random Quote and Unrelated Photos of the Week