West Palm Beach, Florida
The Flagler Mansion in Palm Beach.Â Â Flagler is the man who “created modern Florida” through his building of the railroad and his somewhat shady dealings with the government.Â Â Our tour guide was a very well-dressed older man who I think just lost his fortune in the Madoff ponzi scheme and was forced to take a job giving visitors tours of the mansion.
There are canals all along the coast, and drawbridges everywhere, especially in Fort Lauderdale.Â Â I was surprised how patientÂ the drivers were, waiting in their cars with no honking.Â Â This would not happen in New York.
I know everyone is waiting for me to make fun of Century Village, with all the residents at “death’s door,” but it really wasn’t that bad.Â Sure, there was a good amount of senior Jewish kvetching about their aching backs by the former New York residents, but let’s give kudos to modern science for keeping all of us alive longer, and in better health.Â Â Â Here is my mother and a couple of her friends talking about the younger man who is taking a shower in the apartment next door and the size of his penis.Â Â (Ha Ha, my mother was NOT happy with that post, because she just told all of her friends at Century Village to read my blog — and the first post they read was…)
The “Clubhouse” is the central attraction at Century Village, much like the Student Union on a college campus.Â Â Â Inside this nice building is a gym, a library, art studios, card rooms, and a theater.Â Â Â Thousands of people live in Century Village and they have their own bus system.
The clubhouse has several enormous Las Vegas sized card rooms.Â Â My mother played canasta, mah jonng, Scrabble, etc.Â Â Â Let’s admit it — this isn’t that much different than the stupid games we play on Facebook.Â Â At least here, the residents are playing with REAL people, face to face.
The entertainment offered to the residents is surprisingly good.Â Â While I didn’t go to any of the recent shows, they included an ABBA and Beatles tribute band, Chubby Checker, and a night with Robert Klein.Â Â Robert Klein!Â Â Hey, I guess we all get older.Â Â Would it really be that surprising to have Prince and Janet Jackson performing for us when we are at Century Village?
Here is some belly dancer at a Greek restaurant that I am throwing in, just for the sex appeal.Â Â We were there for the early bird special!Â Â Since I was one of the younger men there, she invited me to dance with her.Â Â Sorry, no video camera.
My mother returns to New York at the end of the month.Â Â This year was an experiment, and she seemed to enjoy skipping the New York winter for three months.Â Â Â But I’m not sure she’s ready to spend ALL her time playing canasta just yet.Â I think she misses the big city.
As for me — and what I am doing next now that she is returning? — I certainly can’t live with my mother forever.Â Â That is too weird, even for me.Â Â I would grow despondent and spend all my time on Twitter.Â Â Uh-oh.
So what is my next step?Â Â Ha, I’m not going to tell you!Â Â I’m going to keep it vague — just to keep you coming back to the blog, in the same way that you keep on watching “Lost,” despite having no idea what the hell is going on.Â In fact, isn’t that WHY you watch it?!