the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Brown Sugar

Asking you for your perception of me was a powerful exercise.  It has enabled me to look at myself from an outsider’s perspective.  And you know what —

Screw you!  What the hell was I thinking?!  Who wants to face the real person inside?  I have been nagging myself all night.

Nagging Neil: “You thought you were writing all day, but in reality, you only worked for an hour and a half today.”

Me: “No, I worked all day.”

Nagging Neil: “No, if you were honest with yourself, you would see that you did a tiny bit of work, then went on Facebook, then ate lunch, then you did a little more work, and then you took a walk to buy a new toothbrush that you didn’t really need.”

Me: “You know, I don’t like knowing myself.”

Nagging Neil: “And then in your last post, you told everyone how much you loved to “hang out and bullshit with the guys.”

Me: “I do.”

Nagging Neil: “So, when Rob called last night and asked if you wanted to go for a cup of coffee, why did you say you were busy.”

Me: “I WAS busy.”

Nagging Neil: “Hmmm… busy doing something important?

Me: “I was doing “research.”

Nagging Neil: “Why don’t we both take a look at what you were doing on Twitter?”

VIA TWITTER — NEILOCHKA’S TIMELINE

“Watching videos on YouTube.”

“Any guys have this hair in the 1970’s? — from ELO video, Sweet Talking Woman.  I love long hair!”

“80’s hair wasn’t as interesting. Even the mohawks.”

“If my hairline wasn’t receding, I would so wear my hair long like a 70’s rock band member.”

“Uh, only joking.  I still have my hair.”

“And that’s not why I’m wearing that hat in the profile pic.  I just saw that in a Seinfeld episode where George was wearing a hat and people thought it was cause he was bald.  Really, I have hair.”

“I am totally nostalgic today on You Tube. Like some old guy reminiscing about Frank Sinatra.”

“Tears in my eyes remembering how “meaningful” Pink Floyd was. WTF.”

“I really liked that girl when I was 13 and we were listening to Pink Floyd.”

“Everyone was smoking pot.  I didn’t inhale.”

“Bruce was really sexy when he pulled Courtney Cox from the audience.”

“I once spoke to Bruce Springsteen in an LA Gym. We were alone. Neil: “Using these dumbbells?” Bruce: “No, go ahead.””

“@VGrrrl — I also had bad taste also. I used to dance in my room to Hot Chocolate’s You Sexy Thing

“@VGrrrl — I was probably a little young for the lyrics of “You Sexy Thing” at the time… a very bad influence…”

“Hot Chocolate also did this video called “Girl Crazy.”  Very interesting.   Lyrics about meeting hot chicks.   But the video seems completely gay-oriented.”

“Hot Chocolate also did Brother Louie.  But like this version better by The Stories.”

“She was black as the night
Louie was whiter than white
Danger, danger when you taste brown sugar
Louie fell in love overnight”

“A question for black women: is it still appropriate nowadays for me to use the term “taste brown sugar?””

“@culturefx – Never called anyone brown sugar before, but I think it is 1 of those 1,000 things you’re supposed to do before u die.”

“Trying to come up with a cool sexy metaphor for white women like “brown sugar.” Cool Whip? Snow? Mayonnaise? Kosher Salt?”

“@Notsoblonde say “White Chocolate.””

“Best answer from @metalia — “Rice Krispy treat!””

Nagging Neil: “So, you were doing something important, huh?”

8 Comments

  1. V-Grrrl

    I had so much going back to the late 70s with you. I tried to get my husband to dance with me and he just looked at me like I was mentally deficient and then went to bed.

    Bruce got it right:

    “Man I ain’t going nowhere/I’m so tired of living in a dump like this/There’s something happening somewhere/Come on baby give me just one kiss…”

    Yeah. That was Tuesday night, but you know…

    “I believe in miracles/You sexy thing! You sexy thing!”

  2. gathering dust

    i woke up this morning to a full inbox on my phone from all your twitter updates…it made me laugh.

    guess that wouldn’t have happened if i hadn’t gone to bed at 6…oh well 😛

  3. Geoff

    See, this is why I haven’t leaped face and eyes into twitter yet. facebook is already a time sink. I’m getting fat from my daily blog diet. Work is a distraction. And now this? No way.

    Okay, okay! I give in. I’ll add you shortly…

  4. Nancy

    Looks like I need to hang out on twitter more to gather all these pearls of wisdom.

    And FaceBook? ::: shudders::: I made one a few years back when my kids were under age … done spying on them, I don’t need another time waster …errr or do I?

  5. churlita

    I haven’t done Twitter yet either. I can only juggle so many obsessions at once and I think I’m at my limit with the blog and Facebook and all my stuff that isn’t on the internet.

  6. Fancy

    I seriously empathize with the other commenters. I can’t get anything done any longer that is not on the computer. Between reading the blogs I follow, and trying to ocassionally scribble out something coherent on my own, and every once in a while coming up with something clever for my facebook status, I can’t add one more thing!

  7. Neil

    I hear you, Fancy.

  8. mp

    The brown sugar video..ummm somethings were meant to be around Before video..that burned my eyes..

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