I don’t consider myself an atheist, but politicians talk too much about God. My main reason for voting Democratic is that there is so much religiosity to the Republicans. At least the Democrats like sex, even if it is with women other than their wives. And why is the President sworn in on a Bible? What do we do when we have a non-believing President? Will he be sworn in on a copy of “The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King?”
If we are going to talk about God, we should talk about God and his relationship with this blog.
God loves “Citizen of the Month.” How do I know this? I have concrete evidence.
A month ago, I wasn’t in the mood to blog, so I asked a bunch of bloggers to guest post. On the first day of my freedom, I stepped out of my apartment building, whistling, relieved of the pressure of having to write something witty or interesting for my non-paying readers.
And then — SMASH! A car went through the window of the supermarket downstairs.
I immediately took photos and ran upstairs to publish it on the blog. The photos were too dramatic to not share with the world! It was as if God needed to do something dramatic to force me to post.
Remember, my God is the God of the Old Testament. He is wise and caring, but not above causing a bit of mayhem to make “a statement.”
He is the God who said, “Hey, Abraham, why don’t you sacrifice your favorite son just because I say so.”
This is a passive-aggressive God.
Two weeks have passed since the guest-posting. I never hit my stride again. I only posted once this week, a sad tale of email sex gone bad.
This morning, I opened up WordPress. As I began to type, I lost all mojo.
“Screw them,” I said to myself. “These bunch of whiny losers don’t deserve more than one post a week from me.”
I shut off my computer and decided to take a walk, to get a bagel and coffee. But as I approached the supermarket downstairs —
God commanded that I post.