the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Never Trust Men or Dockers

He was as dark and strong as a Bombay oak.  He said his name was Meneul.  We met in a small dive bar in the city, two lonely strangers looking for love.  We had a lot in common.  We both loved travel, men’s fashion, and Bollywood.  Before you can say Mahatma Gandhi, we found ourselves in a hotel room, our Nehru jackets lying together on the floor.  Neatly folded over the desk chair were the Dockers pants that I had bought for that free Dockers/JCPenney flight, the one I had hoped to use to go to BlogHer on July 16th.

We made love.  The passion was as strong as the current of the Ganges River in the Spring.

Later that night, Menuel and I stood in the lobby together.

“Will I ever see you again?” I asked.

“Of course you will,” he said in his calm, pleasant voice that served him so well in his successful career in customer service for TLC Marketing. 

“I’ll call you on Tuesday, July 22nd.”

Today is Wednesday, July 23rd.

31 Comments

  1. V-Grrrl

    And your encounter was RECORDED!

  2. heartache heartburn

    I have long been a lurker, but it took this to make me comment. Comparing passion to a river current is just brilliant. Your use of words makes me swoon. Menuel is so lucky!

  3. DaveX

    A Nehru jacket with Dockers? Menuel wasn’t the only thing f**ked in this story! LOL

  4. gorillabuns

    Neil, Neil, Neil… that’s it, just Neil, Neil, Neil.

  5. Marinka

    There is still hope! He didn’t specify the year!

  6. TorontoPearl

    (nothing more to be said, Neil)

  7. Amy @Taste Like Crazy

    I really had planned on leaving some witty comment but V-Grrl and Davex already took care of that.

    I’ll just leave it at thanks for the early morning laugh.

  8. Finn

    Recorded for quality assurance, V-grrl. For quality assurance.

  9. Mocha

    It’s men IN Dockers that scare me. Or repel me. Either way, it’s not a good situation.

    Send Meneul my phone number, wouldja?

  10. Fiesty Charlie

    Glad you switched over to the other team… Nothing like man on man loving eh?

    Not that I would really know, since I am a lesbian and only go for the girl on girl loving.

    Your “New Team” jersey is in the mail!

    LOL

  11. blondefabulous

    Told Ya So!

  12. Neil

    BlondeFabulous — You were right. Never trust what a man says.

  13. MammaLoves

    The Dockers would have been my first clue to run away.

  14. All Adither

    You wouldn’t have even known they were Dockers if you hadn’t seen the little label!

  15. churlita

    At least it was beautiful for that moment. Since you’re new to men, you’ll soon discover that they don’t always do what they promise to do. Just so you know, he probably won’t remember your birthday either.

    Soooo, still holding your breath for that free flight, huh?

  16. blondefabulous

    Now, now! So totally not what I meant!

  17. anymommy

    Oh Neil, sometimes you have to learn the hard way. I know it hurts.

  18. better safe than sorry

    you must have heard that “i kissed a girl and i liked it” song, well, this is turning into your version. can’t wait to see the video.

  19. Danny

    I hope Menuel sees this. Do corporate slaves get Internet access in their cubicles?

    Neil, did you ever consider taking all those pants back to the store and demanding your money back because of false advertising? I hope you don’t drop it–get those pants out of your life even if you have to go to the president of the company.

  20. Turnbaby

    Laughing laughing laughing….oh wait…*puts on serious face* …nope can’t do it ! LMAO

  21. Don Mills Diva

    You’re too good for him!

  22. Nance

    …I may never get over Anymommy’s comment. Ever.

    Wait…nope.

  23. Lawyer Mama

    Ouch.

    I never trust anything that claims to be wrinkle free. It’s never what you expected.

  24. nova-san

    Here’s to hoping that he got the dates mixed up, and will call you on Tuesday, July 29. :-/

  25. Annie

    Neil, take those pants back and get your money refunded!:-).

  26. Jennifer H

    I’m sorry, Neil. He’s just not that into you.

    (No, I wasn’t going to say anymore. Geez, people.)

  27. Jody

    This is a good example why sex on the first date is not a good idea! All those expectations for something wonderful and then the realization that is was over before it even began. 🙂

  28. formerlyfun

    Hope they were the Dockers® Go Khaki™ Pants with Stain Defender™, I’ve heard Menuael gets a little sloppy.

    http://www.casualmale.com/store/en_US/catalog/browse_sku.jsp?clear=true&catID=cat10021&id=cat10067&prodId=82835&cm_mmc=CI*Google*Base*Shopping&ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=82835

  29. piglet

    i did not see that coming, and i was pleasantly surprised times a one hundred.

  30. mary

    That ending made me laugh. OUT LOUD.

  31. Christine

    I saw something yesterday that made me think of you Neil – A Dragnet rerun. The three juvenile lawbreakers sitting in the interrogation room with Friday & Gannon were all wearing… drumroll please… Nehru jackets!!! One in red, one in blue, and one in yellow. It made me smile and think of you. (And Sgt. Pepper for some reason.)

    Have a great day!

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